=========================================================================== WEIRDER SCIENCE A Pinky and the Brain Fanfic Michael K. Neylon mneylon@engin.umich.edu http://www-personal.engin.umich.edu/~mneylon http://www-personal.engin.umich.edu/~mneylon/animx for A! related stuff July-September 1996 Copyright Info at end of file =========================================================================== A quick background; "Weird Science" which is what this is based on, is a pretty decent movie that was turned into a television show, which follows pretty well in the movie's theme. Quick summary: two high school boys create a genie with their computer. Hilarity ensues. There; that's the plot. ;-) A nice good way to get laughs. =========================================================================== [P&tB Theme] [Open onto ACME Labs, nightfall. Camera slow zooms into the labs, where Brain is furiously working at a blackboard within the cage. The board is almost filled, and Brain is trying to finish an equation at the bottom of the board] BRAIN: [while writing] ...Then add the Boltzman constant...divide by the speed of light...carry the one...[he writes down an answer, and circles it, then stands back, checking his work. Short pause, then...] NO!! NO NO NO NO! [he furiously grabs an eraser and clears the entire board] It won't work! The frequency of the Einstein- Coloumb bridge is just *wrong*! ARGGGGH! PINKY: [off screen, muted] Ha-hahahaha! NARF! [Brain looks over to Pinky, who's sitting at the edge of the cage, intently watching some cartoon. Brain grips the chalk a bit more tensely, and continues to work. Shortly there is an *ahem* from the opposite side of the cage. Brain turns, and sees Billie Mouse standing outside the cage, looking snug] BILLIE: Say, Eggy, whatcha doing now? BRAIN: [quickly moves back to cover the board from her view] BILLIE: Oh, trying another one of those plans to take over that world-thingy? BRAIN: [worried] Uh..no...no...j-just a recipe I want to try out later. He..he... BILLIE: [looking at the board] Ohhhh, another mind control thing... [looks at her nails, and starts filing them]...tried that last week. It failed. BRAIN: [fuming and erasing and board] Fine! So what are *you* doing here? BILLIE: Oh, just wanted to stop by and tell you that your plans nothin' compared to my plan for tonight! BRAIN: Hmmmm, yes. And this plan is...? BILLIE: Oooooh, no, I'm not telling you this one. Just here to taunt you before leave. [Brain says nothing, but writes with a bit more feriousity] BILLIE: Ohhh, don't have a fit, Eggy. Just 'cause I'm smarter than you doesn't mean you still can't take over the world....you'll just have to wait for me to get done with it first. [she giggles] BRAIN: [shouting] Just leave me be! BILLIE: Hey, hey, I know when I'm not wanted. I'll just be off in my cage getting ready to take over the world, Eggy... [She walks off, leaving Brain fuming] BRAIN: [angrily, to himself] Why does she infuriate me like that! I must come up with an infallible plan for tonight, and then I shall deal with her! PINKY: [offscreeen] HEhhhehe! NARF! TROZ! BRAIN: [tossing down the eraser, very upset] Pinky, what commonplace drivel are you watching now? [Cut to Pinky watching TV On it, we see a blue character voiced by Robin Williams as part of a certain movie put out by a certain animation studio. Pinky has tears of laughter coming out his eyes.] PINKY: [trying to recover from laughing] Ohhhh, Brain! This cartoon is *so* funny! I can't help myself! [breaks out laughing again] "Watch out, they spit!" POIT! HA-hahahaha! [Brain, now behind Pinky, grabs Pinky's ears, and yanks them back so that Pinky is looking upside down into Brain's face. Cut to Pinky's POV. Pinky utters a short "ZORT!"] BRAIN: Pinky, how many times have I told you that world domination cannot be accomplished by the viewing of such frivolity on the television?! PINKY: Um, ....er...[pauses in thought] Twenty-seven? [Cut back out to the cage. Brain pulls back some more on Pinky's ears, then releases him. Pinky's head hits one of the cage's bars, and Pinky momentarily vibrates for a few moments before he places his hand on his head and stops the vibrations.] BRAIN: It's such a shame that one of the most useful forms of electronic media can take so much away...[pauses to look at the screen] For instance, what is this drivel? PINKY: [rubbing his head where he was hurt] Oh, Brain, it's this fantastic story of adventure, and romance, and, um, ...er, adventure! NARF! BRAIN: It looks more like a vehicle for a overly excessive display of family values and massive toy marketing. PINKY: Oh, no, Brain. You've got it all wrong! [standing up, and indicating various characters on screen as he talks] You see, that Alan boy, well, he found this wonderful lava lamp, which has this Gene guy in it... [pauses for a moment] Say, how would someone like that fit into a lava lamp? POIT! BRAIN: I believe you mean a *genie* in a *magic* lamp, Pinky. PINKY: Oh, that's right! [then, as if dreamy-like] Oh, Brain! Wouldn't it be wonderful to have a genie of our very own?! We could wish for all sorts of things! BRAIN: Like what, Pinky? PINKY: [thinking] Oh, you know...um...cheese...er, more comic books.... [inspired for a moment] Oh, I bet you could even wish for world domination, Brain. POIT! BRAIN: Well, yes, but unfortunately, we don't have a genie of our own to use to that extent. [turning away] Sometimes, Pinky, I don't know why I bother to listen to you. PINKY: [oblivious to that last remark] Gee, it's a shame that you can't make your own genie, Brain. Oh well... [Pinky turns to watch the show] [There is a momentary pause, then suddenly, Brain's eyes go wide, while in midstep. He twirls and faces Pinky.] BRAIN: [excitedly] Pinky! Are you pondering what I'm pondering?! PINKY: Wuh, I think so, Brain, but would there be enough room in one of those *little* lamps for a complete dinette set? BRAIN: [reaches out to grab Pinky, but stops] No, Pinky! I shall create my own magical servant! PINKY: [turning off the TV, and then turning to Brain] Really?! Ohhh, that sounds so "squishy"! But how? BRAIN: I shall use the computer to program in the genie's powers and intelligence, then channel a vast amount of power through the Labs' set of magnetic couplings, and then, we shall create life itself! [Evil Grin(TM)] PINKY: Egad, Brain! Brilliant, bril- .. oh wait, no. You're going to need something to put all that power into! BRAIN: Hmm, an excellent observation, Pinky. While I begin to design this mystic slave, you must scrounge the lab, and find anything that could be used as a vessel for that awesome power! PINKY: Right-o, Brain! [aside] Oooooh, this is *so* exciting! NARF! [Dissolve a series of several scenes, a dissolve between each, while background music plays... - Pinky digs around in a drawer, tossing out various office supply equipment, until he withdraw a hairless, clotheless plastic Barbie doll, which he displays proudly. - Brain works intently at the keyboard of their mouse-sized computer, (See _Pinkazoid_) while lines and lines of code fly by on the screen. - Pinky trys on some of the doll's dresses in front of a silver of mirror (and yes, he looks *MAR*velous!) - Brain feeds several books and magazine about science and technology through a scanner by the computer, and watches as the information fills the screen. - Pinky walks across the lab counter with a *large* pile of paper and fabric. Not being able to see where he is going, he accidentily trips, sending the pile of junk sprawling. Various other scenes of a similar nature go flashing by. Finally, we dissolve back to the cage; on the floor of the cage, the Barbie doll has been striped and covered with a red scrap of cloth. A miniature wig of long blond hair sits on its head, and a fake plastic tail is tied appropriately around its waist. Two electrodes are connected to its shoulders, and the camera follows the connections to the computer. Brain is currently typing at a rapid pace, trying to finish up the program. Pinky stands over his shoulder, watching excitedly.] PINKY: NARF! This is *so* exciting, Brain! I've never had my own genie before! BRAIN: Neither have I, my friend, so this experience shall be a new one for both of us! [continues to type but seems to indicate a large stack of books by the cage] I have inputted in all my scientific references, journals, and all our previously failed plans into the computer. When we activate our genie, it shall have that knowledge, and thus, it shall be even simpler to take over the world! PINKY: [admiring the stack of books] Ooooh, Brain! That's a lot of information! But how about stuff like TV shows, and comic books, and that sort of stuff? I mean, no one is really complete without a bit of humor in their lives! POIT! BRAIN: A profound statement, Pinky, but I fear that such influences could drastically affect the ability of our genie. No, Pinky, the genie's program is perfect as it is right now. PINKY: [somewhat dejected] Awwww... BRAIN: [finishes typing and presses return] Excellent! I have programmed the computer to reroute the city's main power grid through the lab, and into the test receptacle. [standing up from the computer] I must now go rewire the electricity in the lab in order to accept that power. Pinky, you stay here and clean up these books. [turns and begins to walk away, then quickly turns back] BUT DON'T TOUCH THAT COMPUTER! PINKY: [saluting] Right-o, Brain! POIT! [Brain leaves the cage, and Pinky begins to try to tidy up, collecting a large pile of books, magazines, and a few of his comics that got within the rest of the mess. He lifts the stack up, which is WAY too heavy for him, and his begins to carry it to the opposite side of the cage.] PINKY: [struggling] Oo...errrr... ZORT! [The stack begins to topple forward, despite Pinky's best efforts, and it comes crashing down, paper flying everything. Pinky watches them falls, and suddenly sees one of his comics fluttering towards the scanner.] PINKY: [shocked] OH NO! TROZ! [Pinky tries to get and clamber over the books to stop the comic from hitting the scanner, but his own clumsiness delays him. The comic lands, the scanner actives, and the computer display images from the comic on the screen.] PINKY: [looking scared at the screen] Oh no! Brain's gonna kill me... [gets an idea] unless.... [Pinky grabs a scientific text book, and slams it down on the scanner after removing the comic. The screen is replaced by scientific jargon, and Pinky falls to the floor, relieved.] PINKY: POIT! Brain'll never know what happened! [As if on cue, Brain walks back into the cage, removing a set of electrician's gloves and a face mask. Pinky stands up by the computer, whistling and rocking back and forth, trying to look innocent.] BRAIN: [discarding the protective gear] All is now in readiness, Pinky! [notices Pinky's expression] Pinky...did you touch the computer while I was gone? [he immediately begins to look at the screen] PINKY: [worried, but trying to play it straight] Oh, no, I would NEVER ever touch your computer, Brain! POIT! BRAIN: Hmmmm....[reading the screen]...well, the program seems to be unchanged... [Pinky, while Brain is not looking, wipes his brow, and lets off a quiet sigh. Brain turns to face Pinky, but Pinky quickly drops back to his normal stance before Brain completely looks. Brain stares at Pinky, to which Pinky reacts by giving a really WIDE grin. Brain shrugs his shoulders and stands back.] BRAIN: ...Hmm, I misjudged you, Pinky. Sorry about that. PINKY: [gladly] Ooooh, no problem, Brain. BRAIN: [rubbing his hands together] Well, all is in readiness, Pinky. Tonight, we shall rule the world! PINKY: [clapping] Oh, goody! NARF! [excitedly] Oh, can I hit the key, Brain?! Can I, can I?! BRAIN: Not just, Pinky. First, we must wear [pulls out, from behind the computer, two mouse-sized bras. (Don't ask me where he found them, maybe he raided Billie's cage!)] these! PINKY: Er, um, gee, Brain...haven't we done enough cross-dressing already? BRAIN: No, Pinky, we must wear them on our heads. PINKY: [looking a tad ill] Ewwww, Brain! BRAIN: The conical shape is perfect for channeling the ethereal energies of the universe into our genie, while protecting ourselves for the large discharge of anti-neutons that the creation of the genie will produce. [hands one of the bras to Pinky, and begins to attach his to his head] PINKY: [questioning] As well as giving us the necessary frat-house atmosphere? BRAIN: [sighs, and repeating] Yes, as well as giving us the necessary frat-house atmosphere. PINKY: [also attaching the bra to his head] Um, Brain, do I even want to know wh- BRAIN: [interrupting] No, you don't. [finishes his, and see's that Pinky is also done with his] Excellent! We may look extrodinarily stupid, but we are ready to harness the powers of the universe! PINKY: [clapping his hands] Oh joy! Can I hit the key now?! BRAIN: Yes, you may! [Pinky races over the the keyboard, and hits the enter key. There is a sudden surge of energy from the computer, which quickly races down the wires to the doll in a aura of blue electrical energy. A gale-force vortex forms in the cage, sweeping loose papers and junk around the room. Pinky and Brain are caught in this, and are thrown against the side of the cage, hanging on for dear life. The lights in the lab (as well as outside) flicker, and on the computer screen, images of formulas, diagrams, and comic heroes flash by rapidly. Cut out an overhead view of the city, where we see that all the lights are being drained. Cut back to the cage. There is a sudden surge of energy from the computer that follows the wires to the doll. As soon as it hits the doll, there is a loud explosion, and the lights in the lab die out, sending the scene into blackness. The winds die down, and the dim forms of Pinky and the Brain can be seen as they recover.] PINKY: ZORT! Brain, are you sure that was meant to happen? BRAIN: I don't know, Pinky. I don't know. Can you find the flashlight? PINKY: Um...I dunno...[he strains a bit]. POIT! Here it is! [The flashlight suddenly comes on, the light shining on Brain. Brain insticitively covers his eyes] BRAIN: PINKY! Get it out of my face! PINKY: ZORT! Sorry, Brain! [Pinky moves the flashlight away, and ends up pointing it in the middle of the cage. There is a pair of pink feet standing just within the circle of light] PINKY: [gasps] Er, Brain... BRAIN: [awed] I see, Pinky...I see... [Pinky slowly moves the flashlight up. As it moves up, we that the pink feet are connected to long, slender white fur covered legs, leading up under a sheer red dress. A pink tail. Narrow hips. Higher up, we see the dress falls off the shoulders, covering her ...er...well endowed chest, with long blond hair falling over the shoulders. The light finally falls full on the figures face; high cheekbones, large, blue eyes, and a well-styled hairdo. If there was such a thing, this would be the Jessica Rabbit of mousedom.] BRAIN: [dumfounded] Ahhhh....ahhhh.....[grabs at the bra on his head, pulls it off, and begins to fumble with it in his hands] PINKY: [curiously] Er, hello? [The figure steps forward some more. As she (obviously) approaches, we see that she's about a half-head shorter than Pinky, or a head taller than Brain. She then speaks (imagine her voice as Tress', more like her natural voice, which is slightly lower than Babs Bunny, and with a bit of 'grrrrowl!' in it)] FEMALE: Hello, boys...[she walks up to Brain and plays with the fur on top of his head. This, of course, has Brain looking directly at her, um....chest] BRAIN: [eyes wide and helpless, and the fur on his head rises a bit] Ahhhhhh.... PINKY: [trying to get a conversation going, while pulling off the bra on his head.] Um, POIT! Hello, my name is Pinky, and th- FEMALE: [indicating Brain] And this *must* be the Brain. I must thank you for creating me! [lightly kisses Brain on the head] My name is Lisa. BRAIN: [still helpless] Li-sa...[he falls blithering at her feet] PINKY: Egad, Brain! I think it worked! BRAIN: [shaking his head, and recovering (to a point of coherency)] You may be right, Pinky. [stares at Lisa] Fine, so we created you, but do you have any magical powers? PINKY: [adding on] Besides making Brain go all numb and all? POIT! LISA: [giggles] Oh, you guys are silly. Of course I have magical powers! [she crosses her arms across her chest, wiggles her nose, and nods her head once. There is a sudden flash, and all 3 mice are holding mice-sized wine glasses] Let's have a toast to your success, Brain! [she holds up her glass] PINKY: [surprised with the glass] NARF! That's amazing! BRAIN: [inspecting the glass, with curiosity] Yes, that is quite an interesting trick. [he takes a cautious sniff at the wine, and his eyes grow wide] Amazing! This smells like a 1834 vintage! LISA: [correcting Brain] 1836 actually. Now, let's toast! [All three clink their glasses and take a sip. Brain sets the glass down on the computer desk] BRAIN: Well, certainly acquiring a dated vintage of wine, and producing the wine glasses from mid air is a feat unto itself, but any stage magician could do that! I need proof of your vast, universal power. LISA: Anything you say, Brain. [she sets the glass on the floor, and then repeats the motions from before. The lights to the lab suddenly come on again full, as well as the city lights.] There! Convinced? PINKY: [blinking in the lights] Ohhhhhh, Naarrrrf! [to Brain] She really is magical! BRAIN: [awed] I do believe you are correct, Pinky. [exceedingly happy] I have succeeded in creating a magic genie! LISA: Didn't I say that from the start? [crossing over to the computer desk and sitting in the chair, crossing her legs] Now, what can I do for you? BRAIN: All I ask for is one *small* wish. [perfectly timed pause] I wish to [Evil Grin(TM)] TAKE OVER THE WORLD! [a flash of lightning is seen outside, even though it's a clear sky. Cue Dramatic Chords (TM). Lisa give s bit of an eye roll, and sighs lightly.] [There is an awkward pause.] BRAIN: [annoyed] Well? LISA: You know it can't be that easy, Brain. You can't just wish for the world on a platter! BRAIN: [annoyed, but not giving up] Ok, fine. Make me President of the United States! LISA: [looking at her fingernails, uninterested] Nope. Sorry. BRAIN: The King of England? LISA: No can do. BRAIN: The chairman of MicroSponge? LISA: Uh-huh. BRAIN: [more annoyed, grabbing her hands away from her face] Well, then, what type of wish can you grant?! [Lisa is about to answer, but Pinky jumps in] PINKY: I know, I know! [readies himself] Ok, I wish for a *huge* plate of cheese! NARF! LISA: [standing up, much more interested] Oookay! That's something I *can* do! [She repeats the invocation. There is a flash of light, and then, suddenly, the lab is filled with a soft golden light. All about, cheese is spilling out over the lab from drawers, closets, and whatnot. Pinky looks around, his eyes twice as wide as normal, the pupils first turning into small wedges of cheese, and then expanding to fill nearly half the eyeball, and tears swell in the bottom of his eyes. (Imaging Brain's expression in "Opportunity Knox"). Pinky's lower jaw quivers for a bit.] PINKY: [very quietly and awed] nnnnnnarrrrrffff.... [Pinky suddenly breaks his admiration and jumps into a nearby pile of cheese, disappearing for a while. We do hear him happily munching away at the cheese thou.] BRAIN: [impressed, but trying not to show it] Hmmm, yes, very interesting. But that will cause havoc with the janitorial staff when they come in tomorrow morning. LISA: Oh, don't worry. Any wish I grant will only last for eight hours. All that cheese will be gone by tomorrow, either by Pinky or by the end of the wish. BRAIN: [upset] Eight hours?! That's not enough time to even begin to devise a plan to take over the world, much less to actually implement that plan! LISA: [sighing] No one ever said life was easy, Brain. [twiddles with her hair] BRAIN: Hmmm, I must plot this out carefully. I must devise a plan that can guarantee me world control within an 8-hour time frame. LISA: [picking up a bit of cheese from Pinky's pile.] Just remember that you both only have three wishes. Well, Pinky only has two now, but you get the idea. [nibbles on the cheese] BRAIN: [really upset] Three wishes?! I thought I programmed you to be our genie for life! PINKY: [from afar, and his mouth filled with cheese] But Major Nelson got unlimited wishes! NARF! BRAIN: [confused, but playing on Pinky's statement] Er, yes! Why should a human get preferential treatment over myself?! LISA: [waves the question off, huffing] Well, that's because that genie wasn't Union! [she pulls out a card out of thin air and shows it to Brain, which reads "Official Member of MAGE - Magi, Autoworkers, Genies, and Enchanters, Local Chapter 837"] BRAIN: [taking the card and reading it, monotonously] Most impressive. LISA: [taking back the card, and rattles off] It sets down certain guidelines and rules that uphold the genie morality. Notice that, instead of a gaseous form that floats in mid-air, I have a lower torso, and I don't have to wear those pointy, curly shows on my feet. They are the *most* uncomfortable things to wear, and they clash with my entire wardrobe! PINKY: [again off screen and muffled] Ooooh, yes, they pinch soo much... not that I'm complaining, mind you. NARF! BRAIN: [ignoring Pinky] Hmmm, yes. But why an entire union if there's just the thr- [catches himself] two of us that want to take over the world?! LISA: [swallowing, then laughs] Ha! You think you're the only two mice in the world out for world conquest?! BRAIN: [confused, and playing innocent while cautiously glancing towards Billie's cage] Well, yes, actually. LISA: [tries to come up with a comeback, but can't] Oh, I guess you're right. Anyway, you are limited to 3 wishes. It's in the rules. BRAIN: [disgruntled] Fine. Any *other* limitations that I should know about? LISA: Well, you can't just *ask* for world domination. If that was the case, then any lab mouse bent on global control could have their way. BRAIN: [worriedly glancing over his shoulder in the gerenal direction of Billie's cage] Errr, yes.. LISA: Oh, and don't try to wish for more wishes. There's some really good chance that you'll create some weird rip in the time-space continuum if you do that. Oh, and don't ask me to have the Red Sox win the World Series. I deal in wishes, not miracles. BRAIN: [sarcastically] Har-de-har-har... LISA: [ignoring Brain] But that's pretty much it. [she waves her hand, there is a short burst of light, and suddenly she is holding a small pamphlet] This should adequately explain the limitations. [hands it to Brain] BRAIN: [pausing to glance through the pamphlet] Hmm, yes. I shall have to delay my plans for taking over the world until tomorrow night. [politely] Can I offer you a place to stay? LISA: Oh, don't worry about that. I'll just pop back onto the Internet. [matter-of-factly] I found this *really* neato sight about David Copperfield [growling] Grrrr-wow! BRAIN: [raises his eyebrow] You know, your behavior seems to go beyonds the bounds that I have programmed you for. LISA: Really? I'm based on whatever's been inputted into that computer. [indicating it] If there's a problem, maybe you made a mistake. Or maybe a stray bit of data got in. BRAIN: [eyes narrowing and glancing towards the pile of cheese] Hmmmm, yes. LISA: Ahh, but it's late. I'd better let you get started on that plan for yourself. [she crosses to Brain and again plays with his hair/fur] Until tomorrow, big boy... BRAIN: [dumfounded] Ahhhhhh.... [Lisa backs away, and quickly nods her head. There is a flash of light, and Lisa disappears into a stream of lights that a adsorbed into the computer screen. The lights dim back down to the lab's normal nighttime lighting. Brain stands around, still a bit confused, and shortly, Pinky, his stomach *quite* large and still eating a piece of cheese, waddles up to him, and gives a burp nearly worthy of Wakko] PINKY: [mouth full of cheese] NARF! Where'd Lisa go, Brain? I want to thank her for all this lovely cheese! BRAIN: [snapping out of it, and twirling and grabbing Pinky by the shoulders] Pinky, did you touch the computer after I told you not too? PINKY: [trying to swallow what he has as Brain shakes him; nervously] Well, I....um...er...[breaking out into tears; quickly] I accidently dropped a comic into the computer while you were out changing the power lines! ZORT! [cries heavily] BRAIN: [stops shaking Pinky; angrily at first] Pinky, I told you *not* to touch it! [calms down] However, I must say that your childish amusements have added a certain personality to Lisa. [pauses, and then turning to Pinky] Pinky, I think I'm in love! PINKY: [finishes up sniffling as he hears this] You? In love? But what about Bil- [Brain throws his hand over Pinky's mouth] MMRPF! BRAIN: *Don't* mention that name, Pinky. She might have our caged bugged, for all we know! She'll be immensely jealous if she finds out! PINKY: Oops! Sorry, Brain. POIT! BRAIN: Come, Pinky. I must plan for tomorrow night. PINKY: [urps, then...] Why, Brain, what are we doing tomorrow night? BRAIN: Same thing we do every night, Pinky, [Evil Grin(TM)] TRY TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD! Although this time, we shall have a genie up our sleeves! PINKY: Gee, Brain, that'll be nice, but we don't wear *any* clothes! [Brain fwaps Pinky] PINKY: ZORT! [Dissolve to the White House, near twilight the next day. All the lights are on in the building, and we see that several Secret Service agents sit outside the building. As we watch, out in front of the fence, accompanied by their theme, the Warner sibs runs by, followed closely by Ralph. As they disappear, we fade to inside the White House.] [Cut to hallway outside of the Oval Office. The door to the Office is open, and we see that President Clinton is working alone at his desk. Two agents stand outside the room, guarding the President. Under a nearby table, there is a small flash, and Brain, Pinky (stomach back to normal), and Lisa (now dressed in a tight tank top and a mini-skirt) appear. Pinky immediately looks around in wonder, Brain looks a bit smug, and Lisa looks *really* ticked off] LISA: [quietly, but angrily, to Brain] You tricked me! BRAIN: Bah! I technically never asked for you to take us to the White House. You did it yourself! LISA: But...[trying to retort, but can't] Fine! You win that one. But next time, I'm revoking all your wishes, and that's that! BRAIN: Hmm, yes, those terms seem sufficient. But I shall need only one wish for world domination! PINKY: [interrupting] NARF! Brain, we're in the White House! BRAIN: [annoyed] Yes, Pinky, that was part of our plan. PINKY: Oooh, right! POIT! BRAIN: Now, I must get close to the President. You two stay back, while I move in closer. LISA: [still slightly peeved] What-*ever*. [Brain motions for silence, and he sneaks past the feet of the guards, unnoticed, and inside the door frame. He motions for Pinky to follow, which he does. Cut to inside the Office. Brain and Pinky stand inside the door, slowly backing up in order to close the door almost all the way. They accomplish this, and both fall to the ground, panting. Lisa appears in a flash of light, and stands around and waits.] LISA: Ok, you're in. What's next? BRAIN: Lisa, I want to make my first wish. I wish that the next human that sees me will become my willing slave for the next 8 hours! LISA: [ponders] Hmmm, yes, that's quite doable. [does her head thing, crosses her arms, and there is a small flash of light. As it fades away, Brain has a certain 'glow' to him] There ya go! PINKY: Naaaarrrfff! Brain, you're like glowing and all! BRAIN: [triumphantly] YE-ES! Stay here, Pinky. When I return, I shall have the President of the United States in the palm of my hand! PINKY: Uh, gee, Brain... I don't think he'd fit in your hand! [Brain fwaps Pinky] PINKY: ZORT! [As Pinky dazes around, Brain races across the room to the desk, and uses a phone cord to climb to the top of it. He hides behind a set of books on the desk while he watches the President finish an important call] BILL CLINTON: ..yes...yes...yes, that's right. Two large pepperoni pizzas. ... Yea, but make sure you tell the driver to be careful! If Hilliary finds out that I'm having another late night snack, hooo-whee! I'm a dead man! Ok,...thank you! [he replaces the receiver down, and goes back to reading a large stack of papers] [Brain crosses from his position to behind a pen set in the middle of the desk. He calculates his best time to jump out in front of the President, when suddenly, the far door in the Office opens, and Hilliary Clinton walks in, approaching the desk. Brain freezes, with no place to hide.] HILLIARY: Bill, honey, don't you think you should come to bed? BILL: Ahh, gee whiz! I've gotta read through this new bill before tomorrow so that I can veto it! Give me a few more hours, ok? HILLIARY: You know what your doctor said about your healt- [suddenly notices Brain on the desk] AAAIIIIEEEE! A MOU- [suddenly stops screaming and falls into a trance like state] Ooooh Master! [begins to bow down at Brain (whom Bill hasn't see yet)] BRAIN: [trying to motion her to be quiet] Ahhhhh, shhhhh! Quiet! BILL: Hilliary, what in Sam Hill are you doing?! Are you being visited by your "friends" again? [short pause] If its Mrs. Roosevelt, let me talk to her, though... HILLIARY: [tracelike] Oh, lead me, O Brain! BILL: Ah, dangit! I've got enough problems this election without you getting involved. [grabs a phone] Quick, somebody call a doctor! Hilliary's gone plum loco! HILLIARY: [grabs Brain from the desk, against his struggling] I am your willing slave, master! BRAIN: [scared and nervous] Let me go, you second banana! BILL: Ooooh-whee! They're never going to believe this in the press corps... [Hilliary walks away from the desk, towards the main exit of the Oval Office, in a trance-like state. Brain is struggling against her grip] BRAIN: [calling down to Pinky and Lisa] Pinky! Pinky, you've got to help me! PINKY: ZORT! What can I do, Brain?! BRAIN: You've got to use one of your wishes to get me out of this! PINKY: One of my wishes? POIT! But then, I'll only have one of mine left! BRAIN: I'll give you one of mine! Just hurry before the Secret Service gets here! PINKY: [matter-of-factly] Well, why don't you just use one of yours, then? BRAIN: Well, because...[struggling for an answer]...umm...errr... [more anxiously as Hilliary gets within arms reach of the door.] Just do it, Pinky! PINKY: Err, I'd hate to see Brain get in trouble...[turning to Lisa] Are you sure you can't help? LISA: [looking on without interest] Nope. Brain cheated me once before, I'm not going to let me get away with it again. [By this point, Hilliary is reaching for the Office's doorknob] BRAIN: [shouting] Pinky, hurry! PINKY: POIT! Ok, um, er...[rushed] I wish that Brain wasn't in this situation! NARF! LISA: On the double! [she does her head thing] [There is a flash of light, and suddenly Brain is standing by Pinky and Lisa. Hilliary is standing with her hand on the door, and Bill is nearly upon her. Brain is shocked, but quickly recovers. Hilliary, on the other hand, is broken from Brain's spell, and she looks around confused..] HILLIARY: Who? What? How'd I get here? BILL: Hilliary, are you done talkin' with the dead presidents yet? HILLIARY: [angrily] What? Are you nuts?! I never did that! That book was a lie! BILL: [nervous, backing off] Oooh, I didn't mean it that way, it's just that- HILLIARY: Bill, you better get your fat butt back in that seat and make sure you sign all those bills that I told you to sign, or otherwise, you're sleeping on [indicating] that sofa tonight! BILL: [quietly] Ok, I'll sign the stuff! [Suddenly, a deep announcers voice is heard, and on screen, in small text, the announces words are repeated] ANNOUNCER: [v.o] The proceeding playlist has been a paid political advertisement to put a Brain in the White House, because a Brain is a terrible thing to waste. Paid for by the Committee to put a Brain in the White House. [Cut back to Brain, Pinky, and Lisa. Brain's eyebrow is raised in confusion.] BRAIN: Well, that certainly didn't went as I suspected. PINKY: Wuh, can't you try it again, like when she goes back to sleep or something? Those pizzas sound really good about now! NARF! BRAIN: Unfortunately, I doubt I'd better able to get another chance tonight. Even now, the President is contacting the Secret Service [indicating Bill hectically on the phone] and getting more agents in here. [aside] Besides, the only bills on his desk right now are for meaningless issues such as balancing the budget and banning smoking. Nothing that I can use to take over the world with. LISA: [a bit sarcastic] You *know*, you can also wish for better conditions, and then try again. But of course, that would leave you with no more wishes. BRAIN: Exactly! I need to reserve at least one wish in case something goes wrong. PINKY: [realizing this] B-but Brain! You said I could have that last wish! BRAIN: Never fear, Pinky. Once I rule the world, I shall fulfill *all* your wishes! PINKY: Oh, really? [a tear in his eye] Oh, Brain! [moves in to hug him] BRAIN: [motioning Pinky away] Ah, Pinky! What have I told you about showing affection that way in public places?! PINKY: Ooops! Sorry, Brain! POIT! LISA: [slightly bored] Well, gee, all this male bonding is great and all, but I'm bored here. Are we going to do anything else tonight or not? There's this *really* nice party on the net-chat lines that I'm missing... BRAIN: No, we are finished here, and I have devised my next plan of attack. Lisa, for my second wish.... [Cut to the outside of MicroSquash World Headquarters, still night. A sole light from the building is on, and we slowly zoom into that.] [Dissolve to the inside of the offices, where the previously disposed Bill Grates, now back in charge of MS, is typing furiously on a terminal. Unnoticed, the three mice pop into existance behind him, on a bookshelf.] PINKY: [awed, again] Ooooh, Brain, where are we now?! BRAIN: [shhhing Pinky, and in a whisper] The offices of Bill Grates, chairman and owner of MicroSponge. PINKY: [pondering, quietly] Hmmm...MicroSponge...MicroSponge... where have I heard that name before... BRAIN: [annoyed] Snowball?! PINKY: [waving that comment off] No, no...its too hot out there for a snowball fight! NARF! [Brain fwaps Pinky (ZORT!)] BRAIN: [really annoyed] No! Snowball the hamster! PINKY: [rubbing his head] Ohhhh! Oh, wait, that means that he [pointing] is... BRAIN: No, Snowball is currently undergoing research experiments at the Portland Acme Labs division, something to do with improving grapes, or something like that. That [indicated Bill] is the *real* Bill Grates! LISA: Well, are we going to talk all night, or what? I can't wait forever for you to finish this wish! BRAIN: Yes, yes, I'm sorry for that. Anyway, to conclude, I wish *again* to have complete power over the next human I see for the next 8 hours! LISA: Your wish is my command! [does the head thing] [Again, Brain starts glowing] BRAIN: YE-ES! You two wait here again. I should not be long... [Brain climbs down the bookcase, and then climbs up the desk where Bill is working at. He peers out from behind the monitor and watches Bill for a bit...] BILL GRATES: [muttering as he types] No, no, no! How many times have I told those boys in the development division not to fix those bugs! They're features, not bugs! BRAIN: [to himself] Well, that certainly explains alot. [readies himself] Well, here goes nothing, as they say in the vernacular.... [Bill continues to type, and Brain jumps out onto the top of the keyboard.] BRAIN: [trying to scare Bill] Budda-budda-budda! BILL: [jerks back] ICK! A mou- [suddenly relaxes] I hear and obey, master! BRAIN: [triumphant] YE-ES! All that I ask you do to is to build me a computer that will allow me to bypass all of your security here at MicroSponge, so that I may access all of your financial records and untested software! BILL: [numbly] No problem, master! [Bill gets up and walks to a closet door. He opens it, and starts tossing out bits of hardware and other junk, looking for something. While Brain watches, Pinky and Lisa climb onto the desk alongside Brain.] PINKY: Egad, Brain! NARF! It worked! LISA: I'm actually surprised it did. [walking over to Brain, and massaging his forehead] Good for you, big boy... BRAIN: [temporarily dumfounded] Ahh, err...[shakes his head quickly] Of course it worked! I've planned this out to the letter. Once we have this computer, we shall be able to infiltrate MicroSponge's computer network any time we want, and take both their money and their programs. We shall sell the programs, slightly improved, of course, ourselves, and take over the world through finacial superiority! PINKY: Oh, will there be enough left over so that I can buy that "Cheese of the Month" club subscription? BRAIN: [raises an eyebrow] I think we shall be able to find a bit of extra cash for that fetish, Pinky... PINKY: [dancing around] Oh, joy! NARF! [Dissolve to later... Bill Grates is still under Brain's control and is nearing completion of the computer. Pinky is at the computer that Bill had abandoned, apparently enjoying the thrill of 'surfing the net'. Lisa sits on the side of the keyboard, somewhat bored, and reading a fashion magazine. Brain is looking at Bill's work eagerly, rubbing his hands together in anticipation.] BRAIN: Only minutes away from world domination, Pinky! Mr. Grates is almost finished with our computer, and none too soon! The spell wears off in 5 minutes! PINKY: [somewhat obliviously] Oh, that's nice, Brain. [looking back at the computer screen] Hey, did you know that there's a *whole* web site dedicated to Spam? NARF! LISA: [looking up from the magazine] Oh, really? [turns to look] Let me see! BRAIN: [fighting off an ill look] Errr, yes, quite....[looking for the word] ....enlightening. [crosses over to Pinky and grabs him by the wrist] Look there, my friend! [indicating the near finished computer] Isn't it fantastic!? PINKY: Zounds, Brain, that *is* a marvel! To think all those *little* bits of metal can do sooo much! LISA: [rolls her eyes] Yeesh! Nerd talk! [returns to the fashion magazine] PINKY: Oh, wait..noo...something's missing... BRAIN: Hmmm? [turns and examines the computer] You're right, Pinky! It lacks an input device. [calling out] Bill! We need a way to input data into the computer! BILL: [trance-like] What should I use, Master? BRAIN: [looks around on the desk] Hmm, just plug in a mouse or something... BILL: [getting up] I hear and obey, Master. [Bill crosses to the desk. Before Brain can react, Bill grabs him by the tail and takes him back to the computer] BRAIN: Eep! PINKY: BRAIN! Hold on, I'll save you! POIT! [Pinky jumps off the desk and follows Bill. Lisa looks up from the magazine, and watches with a slight smile on her face. Meanwhile, Bill reaches the computer, and literally plugs Brain's tail into the back, sending a large shock into Brain.] BRAIN: AHHHHHHHHGGGGGGGHHHHHH! [Bill then takes the slightly smoldering Brain in hand, and 'rolls' him about in front the computer, as if using a computer mouse. Pinky runs in from the side of the computer, a bit of a worried look on his face] PINKY: Brain! Brain! TROZ! Are you ok?! BRAIN: [muffled] Pinky! Thank heavens! You've got to save me! PINKY: Ah....[looking around, unsure of himself]...err....what can I do, Brain? BRAIN: [muffled] Use a wish! And hurry! We've only got seconds left on this wish! PINKY: [a bit downcast] B-but....it's my last wish! You promised! BRAIN: [muffled] I'll give you my last wish, Pinky! Just *hurry*! PINKY: [still a bit downcast] Errr, ok....[looking around] Lisa? POIT! Lisa, where are you? LISA: [walking in from where Pinky entered, a look of humor on her face] Oh, I wish I brought my camera! This is just *too* good for words! PINKY: [confused] It is? [looks back to where Bill is now 'clicking' on Brain's head] Actually, you're right, this *is* funny! Ha hah! ZORT! BRAIN: [muffled, but angry] PINKY! PINKY: Oh, right! NARF! Lisa! I wish that Brain wasn't in this situation! LISA: Oh, I'd hate to wreck this, but a wish is a wish.... [She repeats the motions, and then is a short flash... Brain suddenly finds himself standing next to the other two mice, his fur a bit singed from the electrical shock, and ruffled from Bill's use. Bill continues to work with the computer, still under a trance state. Brain wobbles about for a bit...] BRAIN: [slightly confused] Whoever invented "point and click" interfaces will rue the day they crossed with me... PINKY: Brain, are you alright?! BRAIN: [shakes his head quickly, his fur returning to normal] Yes, Pinky, but the spell is almost over! We need to get Bill away from the computer before he realizes what he's done! [As if on cue, Bill suddenly freezes, then shakes his head and put a hand up to it. The mice see this, and race for the back of the computer, out of sight.] BILL: Ohhh, man....where am I...? [looks in front of him, at the computer that is currently rattling off tons and tons of secret codes] What is this?! Geez, these are all the passwords for MicroSponge's archives! Who put this together!? I'd better delete this before it gets in the wrong hands! [he starts hammering out at the keyboard] BRAIN: [quietly] DRAT! I was *that* close! LISA: [quietly] Oh, like I didn't see that coming for a mile away... BRAIN: Quiet, you! If you knew this was going to happen, why didn't you tell me!? LISA: Well, you didn't ask, silly! [giggles] PINKY: [quietly laughing] Ohh, that's a good one! NARF! BRAIN: [to Lisa] One moment, please. [turns to Pinky, and fwaps him on the head ('ZORT!')] There, I feel cleansed. LISA: Hey, I wouldn't keep hurting Pinky like that. You owe him big time! BRAIN: What?! For messing up my plans? LISA: Messing them up?! No! [she grabs Brain by the front of his chest by his fur, and lifts him up to her eye level; she talks VERY angrily at Brain] You've made him use two of his wishes to save you from situations that you put yourself in! You think that he deserves a bit more than that, don't you?! BRAIN: [Nervously] Errr, yes, but... LISA: But nothing! Why, if you hadn't created me, I would have to turn you into a newt or something! PINKY: [nervously trying to step in and breaking this up] But Lisa, I don't mind when he hits me on the head. It really doesn't hurt at all. [bonk himself quite hard] See?! No pain! NARF! [rubs it a bit] Well, not much, anyway... LISA: [dropping Brain unceremoniously] Pinky, you've got to learn to stand up for yourself. If Brain considers you to be his friend, he shouldn't go on hitting you. [turning towards Brain] And he *should* be giving you his last wish! BRAIN: [frustrated] Oh, fine! If it will make you happy. I give my last wish to Pinky. [to himself] I can take over the world *WITHOUT* these stupid wishes! Let Pinky waste it on his frilious cheese fetish again! [puts his head in his heads and sighs] [Lisa performs her motions, and there is a faint click, but nothing visual] PINKY: Ooooh, thanks Brain! LISA: [much more relaxed now] Now, doesn't that make you feel better, Brain? BRAIN: Yes, whatever. Now leave me in peace so I can think of another plan for tomorrow night. PINKY: Tomorrow night, Brain? Why? What are we going to do tomorrow night? BRAIN: [by instinct] Same thing we d- [catches himself, and gets up; forlornly] No, forget it. You already know the answer. [walks away] PINKY: POIT! Oh, that's not like Brain. LISA: He really *does* want world domination, doesn't he? PINKY: Ohhhh, yes. It's all he ever thinks about. LISA: Hmmm, [taps her foot] Ah, I have an idea. [Lisa begins to whisper in Pinky's ear. Pinky's eyes widen as he listens for] PINKY: Egad, Lisa, that's a brilliant plan! LISA: [titters] Of course it is! Come on! Let's catch up to the Brain before he does something stupid. [she begins running off] PINKY: Hey, wait! I'm the only one that's supposed to do something stupid! NARF! [Pinky runs off and follows Lisa.] [Dissolve to ACME Labs, the next night. Brain sits at the computer, exhaustively tapping the keyboard without enthusiasm. Pinky and Lisa, now a blouse over a tight halter-top and a pair of jeans shorts stand a bit to one side of the cage] BRAIN: [to himself] I was *that* close to world domination, and she took my only chance away from me! What is it of her business that I demonstrate my anger by hurting Pinky?! He obviously appreciates it! [he sighs] PINKY: [to Lisa] Zounds, Lisa, I dunno. Shouldn't we tell him? LISA: [to Pinky] Nah, he's too depressed right now. So are you ready to go yet? PINKY: Errr, I guess. [excited] POIT! I know! Let me leave him a note! LISA: [indifferent] Ok, just hurry. The night's getting short. [Pinky races off and returns with a bit of paper and a pencil stub. He quickly write a note in PinkyScrawl, reading "Brain - Gone to bridge - ZORT! - Pinky", and then folds it up neatly. He then walks over to Brain] PINKY: Er, Brain, I- BRAIN: [interrupting] Not now, Pinky! I'm trying to concentrate! [narrows his eyes at Pinky] Don't you have a hobby or something? PINKY: [worried] Well, I guess...ZORT! I'll just leave this note. See you later, Brain! BRAIN: [looking back at the computer] Fine, whatever. [Pinky steps back to Lisa.] PINKY: [to Lisa] Oooh, you're right! He really is depressed. LISA: Well, we're about to cheer him up. Got the stuff you need? PINKY: [grabs a small sack nearby] Right here! NARF! LISA: [while doing he motions] Then lets get going... [Pinky and Lisa disappear in a flash of light. We continue to watch Brain type, mumbling to himself. ] [Shortly afterwards, Billie walks up outside the cage.] BILLIE: Heya, Eggy... tough break about MicroSponge. [giggles a bit] Must of been quite a *shocker*. [breaks out into laughter] BRAIN: [irratated] Billie, please! I'm trying to work out my latest plan! BILLIE: [recovering] *Still*? I thought you had finished hours ago! BRAIN: Of course, "still"? What do you mean? Is this another of your tiresome jokes? BILLIE: Well, uh, I saw Pinky building something earlier... it looked big and heavy... BRAIN: [confused] Pinky....building....? [*Finally* something clicks, and Brain realizes that Pinky has left.] BRAIN: [looking around] Pinky? Pinky? Where are you? BILLIE: Didn't he just leave with that other girlie mouse? BRAIN: [nervously] Um...a "girlie mouse"? I have no idea what you are talking about. BILLIE: [a bit angry] Of course you do, Eggy! That genie you boys made? BRAIN: [nervously] Er, um....[can't fake it anymore] Oh, fine! Her name is Lisa. [raises an eyebrow] How did you know? BILLIE: [giggles] You said it yourself, I've wired your cage. [non-sequitor] Oh, I'd like my bras back if you're finished with them. BRAIN: [ignoring that comment] Whatever. So, you said Pinky went with Lisa? BILLIE: [sarcastically] Yeah... BRAIN: [to himself] Where would he have gone... [He turns away from Billie, and looks back at the desk. He then sees the note and reads it to himself] BRAIN: "Brain, gone to bridge...'zort'...." Bridge? [suddenly looks scared] Oh, Pinky! I didn't mean it that way! [Brain tosses the note aside and gets up from the computer and races to the door of the cage] BRAIN: [shouting to no one in particular] Wait, Pinky! Don't do this! BILLIE: [confused] Do what? BRAIN: [hysterically] He's going to jump! I've got to stop him! [he leaves the cage running] BILLIE: [worried] Pinky...jump.....[really worried] Oh, not Pinky! [chases after Brain] Hold on, Eggy! I'm coming! [Cut to the exterior of ACME Labs. Pan slowly up to the top of one of the pillar of the bridge that runs near ACME Labs. It is a particularly windy night, as seen by the various attenta that are bending to the wind. Brain wearily climbs over the edge of the column. He then turns around and pulls Billie over the edge, and they both collapse, panting for breath. After a few moments, Brain recovers, and looks around. On the opposite edge, he sees a tail wrapped around the end of one of the bolts.] BRAIN: [scared] PINKY! STOP! PINKY: [off screen] What? NARF! [Brain rushes over and starts grabbing at the tail.] [Cut to the shot of the column from the other side. We see Pinky hanging upside down, his tail wrapped as above, helping Lisa, who's standing on a flat alcove just about a foot below him, manuever a small device (although awkwardly shaped into the alcove. As Brain starts to reel Pinky in by his tail, Pinky begins to swing back and forth, trying to keep a grip on the device.] PINKY: Waaaaahhh! ZORT! LISA: What's happening up there?! BRAIN: [crying in deparation] Pinky! I do care about you! BILLIE: [from behind Brain] Yeah, Pinky! Yer too funny to jump! PINKY: But, Brain, Billie, it's not what it seems! BRAIN: I know *exactly* what this is! LISA: Brain, you oaf! Listen to Pinky for once! [Finally, Pinky can no longer hold onto the device, and it slips from his hands, bounces off the support once, which shatters it into 3 or 4 pieces, and into the river below. Brain, now aided by Billie, continues to pull up Pinky until he is safely on the column, and then rushes to his side and hugs him closely (awwww!)] BRAIN: [crying] Pinky, I'm so sorry! I don't mean to hit you! You don't have to jump! PINKY: [very confused] Errr, jump, Brain? [noticing Billie] Oh, hiya Billie! POIT! BRAIN: [still crying, but question] Pinky, what are you talking about? PINKY: Well, zounds, Brain, I wasn't gonna jump! That'll be really stupid and everything! NARF! BRAIN: But... that note you left? [Lisa pops in behind the mice at this point] PINKY: [waving off Brain's last statement] Ooooh, that! I was just tellin' where we were, in case you got lonely! BRAIN: [a bit more annoyed] Then *what* are you doing up here, anyway? PINKY: Oh, just tryin' to take over the world and all! POIT! BRAIN and BILLIE: [flabbergasted] WHAT?! LISA: [walking up behind Brain, and rubbing her finger about his head] Oh, that's right, you were busy all day! Pinky used his last wish to be smart for eight hours! PINKY: Yeah, and then I built this big ol' mind control thingy, and all I was doing was puttin' it at a high point, like on the top of the bridge. BRAIN: [confused] You? A mind control 'thingy'? BILLIE: Yea, mind control thingies don't work! I tried it last week! PINKY: Ah, but this one was really simple. One flick of the switch, and the world would be min- er, ours! POIT! [Brain and Billie stare at each other, then back at Pinky.] BRAIN and BILLIE: Huh?! PINKY: Yup! Once it was on, it would control all humans within a 500 mile radius. I then would have made them all bow down and worship you, Brain. It was just a deliciously simple plan! NARF! BRAIN: [shocked] ...to .. me? ...But...[his face drops] Oh, Pinky...why didn't you tell me!? PINKY: Oh, POIT! We were going to make it a big surprise! LISA: Yea, after the night you had yesterday, we'd thought it would cheer you up. BRAIN: But such a simple plan! It's incredible! [runs and hugs Pinky, with tears of happiness in his eyes] Thank you, Pinky! Thank you! PINKY: [as he is crushed by Brain's hug] Ehhhh, no problem, I think. ZORT! LISA: [turns away with a bit more of disgust] Oh, no! More male bonding! Bleah! BRAIN: [breaking the hug and looking around excited] So, where is this device? I would take get pleasure in seeing what you have done! PINKY: Well, er... [looking back over his shoulder to the edge of the column] BRAIN: [rushes to the edge and looks over, a tad irritated] Pinky, there's nothing there! Where is it?! PINKY: [nervously] Well, um, er you see...[pausing] POIT! BRAIN: [angrily] Where is it!? PINKY: [breaking out in tears, rapidly] Well, whenyoushokemeIwasholdingon- toitanditfellintotheriver, anditsallgone! ZORT! [starts crying] BRAIN: [staring in disbelieve for a bit] You...dropped...it? [Billie catches herself from giggling at this point] PINKY: [between whimpers] Mmm-mmm... BRAIN: [getting up and grabbing Pinky by the shoulders, trying to be comforting] Well, don't cry, Pinky. You can just build another one, right?! [Pinky is crying too much to reply, so Lisa steps in] LISA: Sorry, Brain, his wish ran out about [looks at a watch on her wrist] two minutes ago. BRAIN: [to Pinky] You *do* have the plans, right? PINKY: [sniffling] Plans? [Again, Billie lets out a smirk, and turns away from the other three] BRAIN: Yes, you know, didn't you write down any notes or anything? PINKY: Er, POIT, not really.. it just all came to me! [Brain takes this in for a bit, stares for a moment, then lets his grip go of Pinky. He walks away from Pinky (who's nearly recovered from crying) and Lisa, to the far side of the column.] [Cut to a front shot of Brain. He lets out a blood-curdling scream while gripping his head. As he does this, we zoom out fast from the column to a far shot of the city. as the scream echoes around the city...] [Cut back to the tower. Brain is completely depressed, and Pinky and Lisa are trying to help him recover. Meanwhile, Billie is laughing up a storm] BILLIE: Hehehe! Eggy screwed up the plan again! HA-ha! BRAIN: [with a growing fury, under his breath] Billie... BILLIE: You'll never take over the world at this rate, Eggy! BRAIN: [twirls and faces Billie] Listen you! You've given me enough trouble over the last two days! I don't need this! BILLIE: [taunting] Awwww.. poor Eggy can't take over the world even it was given to him on a silva platter! BRAIN: [more furious] Billie.... BILLIE: He can't even make a decent genie... HA! Who ever heard of a three wish limit?! BRAIN: [REALLY furious] Bil- [He is cut off as Lisa forces her away into the arguement] LISA: [if you thought Brain was furious, Lisa is ten times that] A decent genie, eh?! [turning to Brain and Pinky, calmly] This one's on the house. [Billie continue to rock with laughter, as Lisa furiously begins her movements. There is a flash, and suddenly, Billie find herself trapped inside a small bottle (about an inch tall). Billie shouts and pounds on the glass, but no sound is heard. Lisa reaches down, picks up the bottle, and gives it to Brain, who is grinning mischievously] [Cut to Billie's POV, where we see Lisa's and Brain's faces distorted through the glass, looming over here. We here the muffled sounds of their conversation through it. Billie cowers in fear.] LISA: [evilly] There ya go. Billie under glass. It'll only last about 8 hours, but I have a *sneaking* suspicision that she won't be bothering you for a loooong time after she gets out. BRAIN: [just as evilly] Oh, don't worry. I'll give her a few reminders... [Evil Grin (TM)] [Cut back to the three mice.] PINKY: [walking forward and looking in the bottle] Hey, I bet we can find out if you *can* fit an enitre dinette set in there! POIT! [Brain motions as if to fwap Pinky, but pulls back in time. Instead, he sticks his arm around Pinky.] BRAIN: [jokingly] Oh, come on, Pinky...let's head back to the lab... [Zoom out as the three mice walk to the edge of the column, carry the bottle with Billie in it] [Dissolve back to the cage. The mice are standing around the computer. Billie's bottle sits next to it, and she's still pounding on the sides] BRAIN: So, is that it? No more wishes? LISA: Oh, not for while. I need time to recharge, and, of course, according to the rules, I need to go and see if I can find another pair of sentient mice out for world conquest. [rolls her eyes] As if. PINKY: So, POIT, will we ever see you again? LISA: Oh, more than likely, Pinky. Probably next time I need a good laugh, I'll pop by and let you guys have some more wishes. [she reaches up and gives Pinky a quick peck on the cheek, causing Pinky to blush and giggle] You two guys are cute, even if your goals are misplaced. BRAIN: [holding out his hand as if he shake her hand] Well, then, until n- [Brain is interrupted as Lisa picks him up and plants a kiss on his lips. Brain's eyes go wide, and his tail momentarily de-kinks. Pinky giggles as he watches. Shortly, Lisa lets Brain back down, and he wobbles a bit] BRAIN: [stunned] ...n-n-n-next t-time... LISA: [titters] Hehehe! See you goes on the flip side! [Lisa de-rezs back into the computer, Pinky watching on with interest, then turns to the wobbling Brain after she is gone] PINKY: Zounds, Brain, what did she mean by that? BRAIN: [quickly shakes it off and reverts back to normal] Well, you heard that she shall return at some point to grant us more wishes. Thus, we shall definitely be seeing more of her. PINKY: But... that could be forever! That's a long time! BRAIN: Yes, and in the meantime, we shall continue our attempts to take over the world. [grabs the bottle with Billie in it, and toys with it as he turns away from the computer] Thus, I must plan for the night after tomorrow night. PINKY: Why, Brain, what are we d- [catches himself] Wait, the night after tomorrow night? NARF! What are we doing tomorrow night? BRAIN: Well, [blushing] I've got a date with Lisa tomorrow. PINKY: You, a date?! [falls down laughing] Ha-hahhahaha! BRAIN: [ignoring Pinky] Yes, I have a date, but on the night after that, we shall do the same thing we do almost every night! [Evil Grin (TM)] Try to take over the world! [Slow zoom out of the cage, Pinky still giggling, and Brain staring him down, as the theme music plays] ============================================================= This document is Copyright (C) 1996 by Michael K. Neylon (mneylon@engin.umich.edu). All rights reserved. The characters of the Warner Siblings and Pinky and the Brain and related characters are copyright and trademark Warner Bros. Animation, and are used without permission. Their use within this work of fiction is in no way, meant to infringe or steal that copyright, nor to dilute the characters themselves. No profit on the part of the author is made from this document, and this document is used only for entertainment purposes. If there is any legal problems with this document, please contact the author to make arrangements to take of these legal difficulties. The concept of this document, "Weird Science", is copyright and trademarked by Universal Pictures (movie) and Universal Televsion and St. Clare Entertainment. The same terms as above applies here. This work may be freely distributed in any media as long as it is not altered for its original form, and that no money is charged for the document itself. It may be included on any archive collection under the same terms. Thanks to Andrew Fram , Andrew J. 'NeuCoyote' Chinnici , and Eric Costello for their fanastic help and ideas for this one.