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Whoops! Back to Part 1...
Negaduck was jolted awake shortly
after sunrise by a sudden rush of cold on his ankle. His eyes snapped open, and a gun was
in his hands.
Dalila stepped back, her
hands in the air. “Whoa. Relax. I was just giving you a new
icebag.”
He looked down at his
foot. “Oh.” He slipped the pistol back into his jacket and sat up.
Negoslyn was at his
side. “How are you feeling?” she asked, clasping her hands to her chest in
concern.
“I’m fine,”
he said shortly.
“Good,” she said,
planting a delighted kiss on his cheek.
Negaduck grimaced and felt his
face flush with embarrassment.
Dalila tossed him a well-browned
banana. “Sorry for the pathetic breakfast, but I wasn’t expecting
company.”
“Got any coffee?”
Negaduck asked, slipping a finger under his mask to rub his
eyes.
“Sorry.
Can’t stand the stuff.”
He suppressed a
groan. He would be a wreck all day without his morning coffee. He put on his
hat, tilted it at what he hoped was a rakish angle, and tried to limp in a dignified way
to the door. “Not that it hasn’t been a blast, but I’ve got better
places to be.”
Dalila opened the door for him
and smiled, her blue eyes regarding him from
beneath thick black lashes. “Leaving so
soon?” she asked.
“I have places to rob
and people to maim,” he said, trying to look unaffected by the scent of her floral
perfume.
Her smile widened.
For some reason, his throat
tightened, and he swallowed with difficulty. He felt he should say something.
Something about her graceful figure...the way her shiny black hair reminded him of
skulking through the city on a dark night...the spell she cast with her eyes.
He had to say something.
“Bye, toots.”
That wasn’t it.
But it was too late now. He limped off down the hallway with Negoslyn in tow.
He heard the door latch behind him. He glanced over his shoulder and felt a strange
sense of loss.
But that was silly.
He was Negaduck, for crying out loud! He was a supervillain! What was
he getting all sentimental about? She was just another pretty face. An
exceptionally pretty one, but--
Stop it, he told
himself. Get a grip.
“Where are we going,
Dad, sir?” Negoslyn asked as they emerged onto the street.
Negaduck squinted slightly in the
morning sunlight. He felt more comfortable under cover of darkness.
“Home,” he said, balancing on the porch railing to spare his sore ankle.
“You can’t walk
that far.”
“I’ll just hijack
a taxi or somethi--”
The door opened.
“I just realized something,” Dalila said, stepping outside clad in a clean
lavender dress. “You need a ride, don’t you?”
Negaduck squirmed
uncomfortably. “Well, not really...”
“I’ll get
my keys,” she said, ducking back into the building.
Negaduck stubbornly forced
back a smile at the prospect of spending more time in Dalila’s company.
She's just a third-rate
burglar, he told himself. An amateur. Incompetent. Careless.
Beautiful. No! I didn’t think that! She hasn’t got two brain
cells in that thick head of hers. Just two absolutely gorgeous eyes... Cut it
out! He couldn’t seem to control his thoughts.
Dalila hurried out of
the building with light steps, her shoes clicking on the
pavement. “Hop in,” she said, opening the
back door for them.
Negoslyn slid
in. “Thank you.”
“You’re welcome,
kid.”
Once they were all inside,
she said, “So, where to?”
Negaduck gave a nervous
cough and muttered something.
“What?” Dalila
said.
“The Sugar and Spice
and Everything Nice Bakery,” he said, grinding his teeth.
“Are you
joking?” she said with a laugh that sent unwanted pleasure through his mind.
“I don’t
joke,” he said.
She looked up at his
menacing eyes behind the black mask in her rear-view mirror.
“Whatever,” she
said, driving down the street.
Negaduck stared out the
window to keep his eyes off the soft black curls that were so near.
They reached the
cheerily decorated bakery. “This is it?” Dalila said skeptically.
“More or
less,” Negaduck said, getting out of the car. Negoslyn scurried ahead into the
bakery.
“Take care of
that ankle, now,” Dalila said, bending a bare arm out the car window.
“Yeah,” he said,
turning his back to her. He hesitated. He had to say it, no matter how much he
detested the idea. He turned back for a moment. “Uh...thanks for
everything,” he said quickly. Then, with a dramatic flourish of his back cape,
he disappeared into the bakery before those enchanting cerulean eyes made him say anything
else he would later regret.
The doorbell in
Negaduck’s house had been broken for so long that no one could remember when or why
it ceased working. Instead, there came a loud knock.
Negaduck frowned in
annoyance and turned off the television. He had been
watching the Blow Up Things Channel, the most popular
network in the Negaverse. He hastily fastened a black mask over his eyes and went to
the door. Two days of reluctant resting had served well to heal his ankle. As
he neared the door, he heard nervous chattering outside.
“--hope he’s in a
good mood.”
“Fat chance.”
“I don’t think he
used that lawn fertilizer I gave him.”
“Probably didn’t
water it either.”
“Maybe be he’s
not home.”
“We could try back
later.”
“Maybe.”
Negaduck sighed. The
Fearsome Four had come to pay their respects. Just what I didn’t need today,
a visit from those losers, he thought. He flung the door open.
“What?!” he yelled, secretly enjoying the sight of his four allies jumping back
in terror.
“Uh...hi, Boss,”
Bushroot said, waving a leafy hand.
“You’re looking
well,” the Liquidator said.
“Stop trying to suck
up and tell me why you’re here. Or were you simply planning on annoying
me?” Negaduck said impatiently. For the hundredth time, he sorely regretted
that the Fearsome Four had discovered the universal portal.
Via Mr. Banana Brain,
Quackerjack said, “Well, Boss, we haven’t had a good caper in ages and
ages!”
“Yeah,” Megavolt
said. “We’re bored.”
“Lack of entertainment
getting you down?” the Liquidator said. “Come and visit Lord
Negaduck!”
“My house is not an
amusement park,” Negaduck said, still standing in the
doorway in hopes of blocking their entrance.
“Isn’t there
something you want to steal, or destroy, or anything?” Megavolt said desperately.
“Go find your own
crimes. It’s not like you four didn’t have your own pathetic criminal
records before you hooked up with me,” Negaduck said.
“But it’s no fun
without you,” Mr. Banana Brain said.
“Yeah,” Bushroot
whined. “We can’t think as well as you can!”
“Now there’s a
newsflash,” Negaduck growled.
“No one’s as evil
as you, boss,” Quakerjack said.
Negaduck rolled his eyes
and sighed. “I suppose you’re not going to leave me alone until I do
something with you, is that it?”
The Fearsome Four grinned.
“Let’s see...I
could completely ignore you, and you would probably drive me
insane whining about it...I could give you an idea and let
you carry it out yourselves, in which case you’d probably screw it up...or I could
get this over with,” Negaduck said, counting off his options on his fingers.
“Can we go to
Darkwing’s universe?” Bushroot asked.
“Whatever. Meet
me at the portal in twenty minutes.”
“Thanks, boss!”
they chorused.
Negaduck slammed the door
in their faces and went to change out of his jeans and black sweater.
Before long, the
Fearsome Five were on the prowl, cruising the streets of St.
Canard in a rusting minivan. It wasn’t an very
old vehicle, but the Liquidator’s presence shortened the lifespan of the paint job
significantly.
Negaduck gripped the
steering wheel with whiter knuckles than usual, trying to keep his temper while listening
to the others’ bickering.
“I wanna go to the
power plant.” Megavolt said.
“You always wanna go
to the power plant,” Quackerjack whined. “Why do we always have to do what
you want to do?”
“We never get to go to
the forest, either,” Bushroot said.
“We could find a
super-clearance sale with rock-bottom prices,” the Liquidator suggested.
“Ooh, yeah!
There might be a toy store!” Quackerjack said.
“I don’t w anna
go to another toy store!” Megavolt protested.
“WOULD YOU KNOBS SHUT
UP?!” Negaduck bellowed, slamming on the brakes. The others lost their balance
and fell into a heap. “It’s bad enough I have to take you jerks on an
outing. We’re going where I say, or else!”
“Yes, Boss,” said
the others.
Negaduck resumed driving,
ignoring the traffic jam he had started by slamming on the brakes.
“So...where are we
going?” Bushroot asked timidly.
“You’ll
see,” he said gruffly.
The Fearsome Four dared
speak no more.
Negaduck drove, perhaps
subconsciously, past the apartment building where Dalila lived. Her gray car was no
where in sight.
They passed the Umpteenth
National Bank, and Negaduck’s eyes lit up with greed. He didn’t really
need any more money, but that wasn’t a real reason to resist the temptation. He
pulled over to the curb.
“Aw, Boss, another
bank?” Bushroot said.
Negaduck turned in his seat
and pointed a rather large pistol at him. “You have a problem with that?”
“Er...no, Boss.”
“Good.”
Negaduck jumped out
of the van, and the others followed.
Red smoke began to boil
from the floor just inside the bank’s door.
“I am the cassette
that breaks in your VCR! I am the stain on your brand-new suit! I am
NEGADUCK!” The caped figure sprang from the mist and struck a dramatic pose.
Megavolt cleared his throat
loudly.
“Oh yeah. And
this is the rest of the Fearsome Five,” he said quickly with minimal enthusiasm.
The bank patrons dropped to
the floor.
“Did I say lay down on
the floor?” Negaduck yelled, making a sweeping upward motion with his hand. The
other hand held a nasty-looking rifle.
The customers sprang to
their feet.
“Okay. Now get
down!” Negaduck commanded, laughing evilly.
The frightened people
obeyed.
Negaduck strode boldly up
to the nearest teller’s window. There was no employee to be seen. He
leaned over the counter and shouted at the quivering teller crouched on the floor.
“Not you! Get up!”
The teller did.
“Now. You know
the drill, doll-face. Hand over the cash.”
“Uh...r-right away,
sir!” the teller stammered. She opened the cash drawer and began pulling out
fistfuls of greenbacks.
Each member of the Fearsome
Five went up to a different window, each with an open sack.
“Trick or treat,”
Quackerjack said, laughing giddily as his sack filled up with
money.
“I just love liquid
assets,” the Liquidator said greedily.
“Green is my favorite
color,” said Bushroot.
“This’ll buy a
lot of light bulbs,” Megavolt said.
When each villain had a
sack full of money, they headed for the door. Negaduck paused in the doorway while
his accomplices ran for the van. Adrenaline pumped through his veins. He loved
this. “Now no one budge for fifteen minutes, you hear me? No funny
stuff. No calling the police. Don’t even blink. Or
else.” He fired the rifle into the ceiling and dashed out the door.
The other members of the
Fearsome Five were already in the van. Negaduck
threw his sack of money in and hopped into the
driver’s seat. He gunned the gas, and the van’s engine roared.
The van wobbled forward a
few yards, shuddering awkwardly.
“What the--?”
Negaduck scowled. He looked out the window and down. “The wheels are
flat! What in the name of all things evil happened?!”
“I am the terror that
flaps in the night!” came a voice out of nowhere.
“Dad, it’s late
afternoon.”
“Quiet, Goslyn.
I am the antibiotic for the infection of crime! I am--”
“Oh, no.
Not--” Negaduck said, putting his head down on the steering wheel.
“Darkwing Duck!”
“Why me?” Negaduck
sighed.
Darkwing walked up to the
van and waved an ice pick. “Need a spare or four, Negaduck?”
Negaduck shot him a
murderous look and jumped out of the van with his sack of money and took off
running. The other villains followed.
“Come back here,
Negadope! You’ll never escape from the Masked Mallard!” Darkwing yelled.
“And
Gizmoooooduuuuuuuuuck!”
“Oh, noooo,”
moaned Darkwing and Negaduck simultaneously as the mechanized duck rolled out in front of
the fleeing evildoers. Gizmoduck held up a gallant hand to stop them.
Negaduck pulled out a
pistol and shot the tire at the bottom of Gizmoduck’s
costume. It instantly deflated, sending the duck
tipping over onto the pavement.
To add insult to injury,
Negaduck ran over him in his flight.
“Hey!
That’s not fair!” Gizmoduck said.
“Stop, Negaduck!”
shouted Darkwing, running after him.
Negaduck ran faster...
...right into
Stegmutt’s bulbous stomach.
“Oops.
Sorry,” said the duck-turned-dinosaur. “Wait. You’re not
Darkwing. You’re that other guy.” He gasped. “You’re a
villain!”
The Fearsome Four scattered
in all directions, abandoning their leader in the
clutches of the Stegosaurus.
Negaduck wriggled to get
loose, but Stegmutt’s grip was tight.
“All right,
Stegmutt!” Darkwing said, hurrying up. “You got him!”
Negaduck tried kicking him,
but Stegmutt was impervious.
Suddenly, in a pink flash,
Negaduck found himself sprawled next to a large pile of pudding. The dinosaur was
gone.
He didn’t wait to ask
questions. He ran off down the street.
“What happened?”
Darkwing said in bewilderment, too surprised to pursue him.
Morgana floated out of an
alleyway. “Gosh, I’m sorry, Dark. I was aiming for Negaduck.”
Darkwing pulled his hat
down over his eyes and moaned.
“It was an accident,
Dark. Really.” Morgana stood next to him, slouching meekly in apology.
“S’all right,
Morg,” Darkwing said, straining to keep the anger out of his voice.
Negaduck cursed as he
ran. Leave it to his goody-goody twin to ruin a perfectly good afternoon of grand
larceny. He gave an even more creative string of curses when he realized he had left
the sack of money behind in all the confusion.
He heard the squeal
of rubber on pavement and looked behind him, expecting to see Darkwing on the
Ratcatcher. Instead it was a gray car.
No.
It couldn’t be.
The car stopped, and the
automatic window rolled down.
“Need a lift?”
came a familiar voice.
No time for small
talk. He sprang into the car.
Sure enough, there was
Dalila.
“Having a bad
day?”
“Like you
wouldn’t believe, sist...Duchess.”
“Better,” she
said with a smile. For someone driving a getaway car, she seemed unnaturally
relaxed.
A distant police siren was
heard.
“So...any idea where
you want to go? Or just anywhere but here?” she asked.
“The bakery
again. And step on it.”
“I’m going as
fast as I can.”
Dalila made a few evasive
maneuvers through some alleyways and sidestreets on the way and managed to lose Darkwing
and the police. Negaduck was secretly impressed. Amateur or not, she sure
seemed to know what she was doing.
Finally, they reached the Sugar and Spice and
Everything Nice Bakery.
“Your
stop,” Dalila said, pulling up to the back entrance. “What is it with this
place, anyway? Is it a front for some operation of yours, or do you
just have a sweet tooth?”
“Sort of.”
He got out of the car and headed for the door of the bakery.
Something stopped him at the door. What an
exceedingly odd sensation. What was it?
Concern, he realized.
Concern for someone else. How strange.
“Uh...Duchess?”
“Yeah?” she leaned out
of the car window.
“They probably got
your license plate number. You might want to lie low for a while.”
“Where?”
I must be going insane,
he thought. Before he had time to think it over, he heard himself say, “Come
with me.”
“Inside?”
He nodded.
She grabbed her handbag and
followed him into the bakery.
Dalila stepped back to
admire the gigantic cake in the back room. “Wow. That’s qu ite a
prestigious pile of pastry.”
Alliteration,
he thought. A girl after my own heart.
“It may look like a
cake,” he said, “but it’s not.”
“Not a cake?
Then what is it? A cupcake on steroids?” she said with a laugh.
“Follow
me.” He climbed the stepladder and, to her amazement, lifted up the top of the
cake. Green light shot out.
“Whoa,” she said,
her dark eyes widening.
He jumped into the cake.
“Hey!
What?” she sputtered in surprise, scrambling up the ladder after him.
“Wait!” She hesitated momentarily, then pinched her nose as if diving into
water and hopped in.
One surreal, twisting,
floating journey later, Dalila was spat unceremoniously out of the cake and landed with a
thump on the floor. Negaduck was standing at the broken window, his hands on his
hips and proud look on his face. She came to his side and looked out.
The skyline was
eerily familiar, but in a state of decay and ruin. The air was tinged with heavy
pollution, and the streets showed obvious signs of neglect.
“What is this
place?” she asked in amazement.
Negaduck gave a rare
grin. “Dalila...welcome to the Negaverse."
This is getting interesting! Take me to part 3!
This sucks like a vacuum cleaner! Take me back to the main
page!
