Date: Tue, 2 Sep 1997 02:27:04 -0400 (EDT)

11:21 pm

The Bounty Hunter was not happy. He was repeatedly punching his fist through

a wood fence as he stomped along the sidewalk next to the deserted warehouse.

First of all, he couldn't understand why they always wanted to meet in a

deserted warehouse. Talk about cliches! A nice warm office would be nice

for a change. Then they chewed his butt about not being able to supply the

information they needed. Shit! *They* should try getting information out of

Trust-No- One Mulder, the tight-ass. Maybe they would understand what he was

up against.

So now they had issued an ultimatum: Information or he would have to stay

here on earth for another few years. He was sick of the whole thing and

wanted to go home.

He considered the options: He wasn't supposed to kill the agent, and they

preferred that he didn't torture him. Something about how their health

insurance costs were going sky-high because of how often Mulder hit the

hospitals. They were joking, he thought, but then this humor thing was one

of the mysterious quirks he had never quite understood.

OK, he could pretend to be someone that the agent trusted and get the

information that way. Trouble was, Mulder didn't trust *anyone*, not even

his partner, though he claimed differently. He was always doing things

without telling her and running off on his own. Still, she would be the best

chance of getting what he needed.

The Bounty Hunter, continuing to vandalize the fence as he walked, finally

came to a decision. He would kidnap Scully and stash her away somewhere. A

nice deserted warehouse would do, he thought with a resigned sigh. Then he

would see what he could pry out of Mulder.

Later, 2:09 am

The door to her apartment creaked as the tall shadow pushed it inward. He

froze for a second, then ducked into the room and silently closed the door

behind him. As he turned to go towards the bedroom, brilliant light blinded

him and a strident female voice yelled, "Federal agent! Put your hands where

I can see them!"

He lowered his arm from its defensive position over his eyes and Scully

sounded annoyed as she said, "Mulder? What the hell are you doing here at

this hour? And why didn't you knock?"

The Bounty Hunter answered sheepishly, "Well, I didn't realize how late it

was until I got here and there was no answer to my knock. I figured you were

sound asleep, so I was just going to leave this on your table." He pulled

some papers out of his coat and waved them in the air. Damn I wish she would

put that gun away, he was thinking.

The weapon was dangling loosely from her hand as she scrunched up her face,

trying to wake up all the way and to make sense of this visit. Honestly,

sometimes she could swear his middle initial stood for "Weird" and not

"William."

Holding her hand outstretched she walked toward him to take the papers he had

brought. When she got close enough, the Bounty Hunter dropped the papers,

grabbed her wrist that held the gun, and hit the side of her neck to put her

out. Getting her to the nearest deserted warehouse was a simple matter,

since there were quite a few in the D.C. area, and he left her handcuffed to

some kind of heavy machine.

3:30 am

Back at Scully's apartment, the Bounty Hunter spent some time going through

the place, both to familiarize himself with the layout and to get a better

feel for her personality. After he was done, he felt that (1) she had a

piss-poor taste in music (Michael Bolton!!??), (2) she had carried the

meaning of "organized" well beyond the normal person's understanding, and (3)

she had a secret cache of some very interesting underwear. For those special

occasions, he supposed.

Well, this was a Saturday, so he assumed she wouldn't have gone to the

office, requiring a suit. He would morph into Scully wearing something

appropriate for recreational time. Thumbing through a "Cosmopolitan" on her

coffee table, he chose a halter-top and a short skirt with a slit in the

side. It was going to be a hot day and it seemed logical.

7:00 am

"Mulder" came the sleepy, raspy response over the phone.

"Hi, it's me," the Bounty Hunter replied in Scully's voice.

"Wassup? Hey, isn't this Saturday? What do you want so early?" Then there

was a rustling sound as he sat up quickly, saying in a worried tone, "Is

something wrong?"

"No, I didn't mean to scare you. I just thought that we could do something

together today if you didn't have other plans."

Silence. For a full minute.

"You mean in an unofficial capacity?"

Now, why did he sound so apprehensive? Trying to calm his suspicions, the

Bounty Hunter replied, "Wouldn't it be nice to relax for a change and forget

about all the ghosts and goblins? I'll even buy lunch."

"Are you coming on to me, Scully?" His voice held a sarcastic, humorous lilt

to it.

The Bounty Hunter pushed his luck slightly by retorting, "Would you like me

to, Mulder?"

A choking sound came from the receiver. Then, "I'll be over there at ten and

I think we need to talk." He disconnected.

10:01 am

Mulder knocked at his partner's door, feeling slightly apprehensive. And

that feeling was justified when she opened the door and he got a look at her.

Holy shit! That halter-top hid less than a bikini bra would, and that

skirt....it did cover the essentials, assuming she didn't move or - heaven

forbid - bend over. There wasn't even much to the sandals she wore on her

small feet.

He realized that his mouth hung open, so he shut it and walked past her into

the apartment. A few beads of sweat formed on his upper lip as he walked to

the sofa and settled back against the cushions.

"I'll get you something cold to drink."

"No! Uh, no, thanks. Scully, what the hell is going on here?" He sounded

desperate.

The Bounty Hunter was puzzled. He was doing something wrong, obviously.

Maybe their relationship was more formal than he had assumed.

Scully sat down next to Mulder and started to speak, when she noticed him

staring at her lap. Then his eyes darted away, a light flush settling on his

cheeks. Looking down, she saw that her crotch must be visible, so she turned

slightly and put her knees together. Dammit - I should have chosen something

less revealing, she thought.

"Scully..." his voice was strained sounding. "I repeat; what the hell is

going on here?"

She put a hand on his knee and said, "I think you are having a problem with

this. I'll go change.

He took a long breath and said, "That would be nice."

She left the room and he dropped his head back on the cushions, closed his

eyes, and sighed. His arousal from the touch of her hand on his knee was

finally fading when he heard her re-enter the room. He opened his eyes and

groaned under his breath. Now she was wearing shorts with wide cuffs and a

form-fitting sleeveless knitted top. Oh, God. Kill me now.

The Bounty Hunter saw that her change of clothes hadn't solved anything and

wondered again what was going wrong. Now Mulder was getting up from the sofa

and walking toward Scully with a peculiar look in his eyes.

When he was a foot from her, Mulder stopped and whispered, "Scully? I

thought we had an unspoken mutual understanding about this. Have you decided

to take our friendship a couple of steps farther? I need to be sure I'm

reading this right."

Oh, great. Now what? The Bounty Hunter was not unfamiliar with human mating

habits, and found them extremely boring. But if it got him the information

he needed....

She licked her lips and asked in what she deemed to be a seductive tone,

"Make love to me."

The words shot their way directly to Mulder's groin. He reached out and

cupped the side of her face in his palm and asked, "Why now? What's

different, Scully?"

She closed her eyes and leaned into his hand and smiled. "Don't you want

to?"

He groaned and pulled her against his body in one swift move. His mouth

moved over her hair, feeling its silkiness and moved on down to her ear.

After he nibbled that for a moment, he kissed her closed eyelids and finally

his mouth settled over her lips, hungrily attacking them.

His hands moved up under the wide legs of her shorts and caressed her bottom

while plunging his tongue into her delectable mouth. Her moans were driving

him crazy.

>From what was known of this mating process, the Bounty Hunter thought some

initiative was called for, so Scully reached down and rubbed her hand over

the hard bulge in the front of Mulder's jeans. This elicited a deep groan

from him, so it must have been the right move. But she was losing interest

with the slow progress and decided to speed things up a bit.

Scully pushed Mulder back, unzipped his jeans and pulled pants and boxers

down in one swift movement. She helped him slip his feet out of the clothing

and he kicked them aside. While he pulled his tee shirt over his head, she

swiftly divested herself of shorts, panties, shirt and sandals.

They stood there, both stark naked, panting like they had run a mile. Then

Mulder was on Scully like static on silk.

They didn't make it all the way to the bedroom, but managed to complete the

act on the floor near the hallway. Mulder was blissful and still wondering

what the hell had happened, while the Bounty Hunter finally understood a

little more about human sexuality. He liked it.

"Oh, God. Scully, that was fantastic," Mulder was gasping as he held her

close and stroked her hair.

She murmured, "Mmmmhmmm," in agreement as she began rubbing against him, her

hands wandering.

"Ah, that feels so...erk?! Dana, you're a doctor. You know that it

takes...ahhh...*few* minutes before I can...oooh."

The Bounty Hunter remembered hearing something about that physical limitation

from somewhere, so Scully murmured, "Let's get more comfortable and go into

the bedroom."

"Is the carpet more padded in there?" Mulder jokingly responded.

With a trace of confusion on her face, Scully got to her feet as Mulder's

fascinated gaze followed her every alluring curve, every play of muscle...He

still couldn't believe what had happened and he didn't want to stop and think

about what this might mean to their lives. Yet, anyway.

He lay on his back with an arm bent under his head for a pillow and watched

his partner's lovely backside as she walked away from him. She stopped and

turned her head to look at this very happy nude man lying on the floor and

switched on a radiant smile for his benefit.

Mulder swallowed convulsively, overwhelmed with the emotion that threatened

his equilibrium. He loved this woman, he realized, with all his heart and

soul.

She wiggled her hips at him slightly, winked, and continued toward the

bedroom.

Incredible, he thought, and scrambled to his feet to follow her. If I were a

dog, my tail would be wagging and my tongue would be hanging out of my mouth.

Does drool count?

Twenty minutes later

Scully was on top of Mulder and they were oblivious to the world, which is

the reason neither of them heard someone enter the apartment.

A few minutes later, as Mulder was screaming Scully's name, he thought he was

seeing double from the terrific force of his orgasm. He could see Scully

astride his lap and there was also a Scully standing by the bed, wearing a

very filthy oversized tee shirt, handcuffs dangling from a wrist, shakily

holding what looked like his weapon in both hands, and pointing it in the

general direction of the bed. Her expression was one of profound shock.

In horror his gaze turned to....Scully? The woman he thought to be his

partner and who had just climaxed so hard and vocally that he was sure she

would be evicted later, had rolled away from him and was sitting against the

head of the bed, staring.

And to his increasing horror, the doppelganger morphed into...the Bounty

Hunter. Once this fact registered on him, Mulder gave a muffled moan, rolled

to the edge of the bed and hit the floor running for the bathroom. As Scully

and their nemesis eyed each other, they could hear vomiting noises from down

the hall.

"What the hell is going on here?" Scully demanded, aiming the gun at the

Bounty Hunter's head.

"I think that should have been obvious, don't you?" He seriously replied.

"And you shouldn't shoot me if you don't want to die from the toxic fumes my

wounds would emit," he gently reminded her.

She reluctantly lowered the weapon and asked again, "Why are you here?"

He shrugged. "To get information from Agent Mulder. I made a few

miscalculations in the status of your relationship and things got a little

out of hand."

The sound of vomiting had not diminished; she wondered if he were throwing up

internal organs by now.

The Bounty Hunter got up and walked around the foot of the bed toward the

door.

"I'm leaving. Perhaps we'll meet once more - we seem to keep encountering

each other."

Scully could see no way of stopping him without injuring or killing herself,

so she watched him walk out of the apartment.

Turning her attention back to the bathroom, she was grateful to hear that the

vomiting had finally ceased. Then she heard the shower being turned on and

the curtain being closed. She sighed, wondering how they were going to deal

with this.

Twenty minutes later

Scully wanted badly to get cleaned up and change to fresh clothes, but from

the sounds of it, Mulder was going to be in the shower all night. She

supposed he felt violated, even raped in a strange sort of way. And what was

really weird were her own feelings of jealousy and anger. Mulder's first

time with her wasn't even *with* her. She didn't even want to go down that

road, so shoved it out of her mind and stalked into the bathroom.

"Time's up!" she called as she burst into the small room. She could hear the

sound of bare feet slipping on the tile as the startled Mulder gave a squawk

and nearly fell down.

"Scully! I'm taking a shower here!" An apprehensive pause, then a

suspicious, "How do I know you're the real Scully this time?"

"Because I just am," she tiredly said. "You're using all the hot water and I

need a shower badly." She paused and said in a quieter voice, "Why did you

make love to me?"

Mulder knew exactly what she was asking. God, this was like the guy with the

tail who could change himself to look like anyone. Eddie Van Blundht had

almost kissed Scully when she thought it was her partner. They had not yet

gotten over that little episode, and now this... He had taken the concept a

bit further than an almost-kiss, unfortunately. His stomach churned again,

but he was able to conquer the urge to up-chuck after a moment.

"Scully, we're way beyond the 'I'll show you mine if you'll show me yours'

stage. Just get in here with me and take your shower. I'm not getting out

yet; I still don't feel clean after seeing that bastard materialize in place

of you while I was still shaking from the sex we'd had. God!"

Scully thought, "What the hey," and pulled her tee shirt off. She

tentatively inched the curtain back and peeked inside.

Mulder stood with his eyes closed, leaning on his forearm against the wall.

Scully carefully stepped into the cubicle and stood next to him, getting

about half the water spray on her own body.

"If I'm going to get clean, you need to shift over a few inches until I can

soak, then shift back while I wash, then shift..."

"I get it, I get it, Scully," he mumbled, and moved slightly to the side and

then returned to his former slump against the wall.

Encouraged by his lack of interest in her, she proceeded with her shower, but

froze when his raspy voice said, "I'm sorry. I've ruined everything between

us, haven't I?"

Scully thought about that and answered honestly, "No, Mulder, I don't think

so. You shouldn't apologize for something you had no control over. You had

no idea it wasn't me, and from what he said, he came on pretty strong to

you."

He peered at her from over his arm and through the wet locks of hair, saying,

"It was pretty damn fantastic, Scully, while it lasted. The best I've ever

experienced."

"Well, I'm pleased, Mulder, that you and that green-blooded alien guy had

such a good time," she wryly replied, scrubbing shampoo into her hair.

Mulder turned toward her and protested, "No, Scully, he looked exactly like

you - Making love was so good because I thought it *was* you!"

Scully rinsed the shampoo from her hair and spluttered, "How the hell could

you say he looked just like me? You've never seen me naked before....have

you?" she asked with a speculative look at him.

Sigh. "No, Scully. But you know what I'm trying to say."

She grabbed a washcloth from the bar just outside the curtain and began

soaping and washing her body. This finally caught Mulder's interest, even

though he was pretty much sexually sated for the time being. In a husky tone

that made goosebumps rise on her skin, he asked, "Would you think about

becoming more than platonic friends with me, Scully?"

Her startled eyes looked up sharply at his face as the bar of soap spurted

from her hands and clattered to the floor. A very long minute later the

corners of her mouth turned up and she said, "OK. I thought about it." And

she leaned down to find the soap, enjoying the view along the way.

A snort came from somewhere above and strong hands held her shoulders,

pulling her up against his body. Scully had a big smile on her face, to

match the one on Mulder's. They moved into a kiss as if it were the most

natural thing in the world. It held so much promise for some well-deserved

happiness.

Meanwhile:

The Cigarette Smoking Man stood in shock, his forgotten cigarette falling

from his open mouth to the concrete floor of yet another warehouse. "You did

WHAT??!!"

The Bounty Hunter stood with an impassive expression in silence.

"Did you at least get the information we needed?"

"No, but I plan to use a different tactic tomorrow...."

"Enough! Stay away from them unless I tell you differently. God knows what

wheels you managed to set in motion."

As the man turned to leave, a thought occurred to him and he stopped. "Can

you...morph into Christie Brinkley?"

The Bounty Hunter raised an eyebrow.

THE END