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This page is dedicated to all the things Ranma ½ characters would never say. If you have any phrase you'd like to add, just let me know at...
jnsoullard@hotmail.com
Just try not to make it sound too repetitive with what's listed here already. Making it sound funny would help too. And remember, this list is intended to be a joke. So, if you worship one of the following characters beyond all things, try not to feel offended from what they say. Now, enjoy the reading.
Ranma: (to Akane) I love you!!
Ryouga: Well, if you want to go to the Tendou Dojo, first you have to take a left turn. After that, you'll have to pass two traffic lights and then turn right. You'll see a park then after. Next to the park there's a "Seven eleven". At this point you should turn right, two blocks later you'll have to take a left... You might get lost. Here, let me draw you a map.
Kuno: Dude, that Shakespeare film was, like, totally bogus. I couldn't understand what that Romeo dude was telling that Juliet chick during the whole movie... bumer...
Genma: (to Ranma) Here son, have some of my rice. You're a growing boy after all, and as your father, it's my responsibility that you eat properly.
Shampoo: I'm considering to quit on Ranma. Maybe I should look for someone more into my intellectual level.
Akane: Ranma, if you don't tear my clothes off right this minute and take me, I swear I'm going to scream.
Ranma: Okay, so I lost... big deal. It's not as if it's the end of the world.
Kasumi: (to Soun) Look!! I had just about enough from your whining! So why don't you start acting your age and SHUT THE F*** UP!!!!
Tsubasa: (singing) Macho Macho Maaaaan. I wanna be a Macho Man.
Azusa: Ewww... that pig with the bandanna is so disgusting.
Tofu: (to Kasumi) Hey babe, wanna have some fun?
Akane: Ryouga, if you don't tear my clothes off right this minute and take me, I swear I'm going to scream.
Soun: (to Genma and Ranma) Okay, I had it with you two!! Either you start paying your stay here, or you can hit the road!!
Ryouga: (giving Ranma some cookies) Here Ranma, this is for you. I baked them last night and wanted to give them to you as a token of my friendship.
Ukyou: (to Ranma) To tell you the truth. All this time I've been pretending to fall for you only to get close to Akane and see if I had a chance with her.
Shampoo: (to Ranma) Get your hands off Shampoo, you pervert!!!
Ukyou: (to Ranma) Get your hands off me, you pervert!!!
Kodachi: (to Ranma) Get your hands off me, you pervert!!!
Akane: (to Ranma) Don't you dare taking your hands off me, you idiot!!!
Ranma: Kasumi, have you seen my Sailor Moon mangas? I can't find them.
Akane: You can't fool me!! That pig with the yellow and black bandanna HAS to be Ryouga!
Nabiki: (in a bar) Okay everyone!! Drinks are on me!!
Ranma: Why thank you Akane, I'd be delighted to taste your stew.
Kasumi: If you're hungry, grab the phone and call Domino's. Can't you see I'm watching my favorite soap opera??
Kuno: (to Ranma) Of course I know that you and the pigtailed girl are the same person. But I never said anything about that bothering me.
Mousse: I had it with Shampoo! I'm getting nowhere with that bimbo!
Ranma: I've been giving it some thought, and I've decided to quit martial arts and start studying World Marketing. That's where the big bucks are now.
Genma: What?? Sell my only son for food?? Never!!! Not even if I'm starving to death!!
Ranma: (to Akane, Shampoo, Ukyou and Kodachi) I won't marry any of you. I've discovered that I'm a better woman for myself than you'll ever be.
Ryouga: (to Akane) To tell you the truth. I have a curse that turns me into a little black pig. All this time I've been pretending to be your pet P-chan. I would've told you sooner, but why should I give up on a free strip show each time I saw you change clothes?
Soun: (to Genma) Enough with this Shogi board. Let's talk about politics instead?
Ranma: Why should I want a cure for my curse? Being a girl has its advantages. And besides, I feel I'm getting in touch with my female side a lot better than before.
Kuno: The life of the Samurai has no place for love. Akane and the pigtailed girl have no business with me what so ever.
Happosai: (to Ranma-chan) God Damn it!!! Put some clothes on!! What do you want to do, gimme a heart attack???
Nabiki: (to Kuno) Forget it!! I'm not taking pictures of either Akane or the pigtailed girl. I have my principles.
Ranma: Hey, Ryouga. Look what I got (showing a bottle of sake). Let's go find Kuno and get ourselves wasted.
Soun: (to Kasumi) <blerk!> This rice tastes like s***!! What the did you put in it, a dead cat??
Akane: (frustrated) That's it! I just can't make a decent meal. Let's
settle down for takeout instead.
Ten Lines You'll Never Hear in Ranma 1/2.(from Lunatic Fringle)
10. Ranma-chan to Genma: "Dad, do you ever feel... you know... not so fresh?"
9. Akane: "I love you, Ranma!" Ranma: "You're not getting my Bud Light."
8. Kasumi: "Get the soy sauce! It's fried panda tonight!"
7. Ranma: "Cologne, I was wondering if you could... how to phrase this... 'make me a man'?"
6. Genma, to Ranma after training: "You're getting sloppy, boy!! I think somebody needs a time out."
5. Shampoo: "Greetings, Ranma. May I formally request your presence on a date?"
4. Happosai: "Boxers! Briefs! SWEETO!!"
3. Ranma: "Ryoga, I was wondering if you could... how to phrase this... 'make me a man'?"
2. Soun, at the begginning of the series: "Soon, very soon, Ranma will be here... and me without a thing to wear!"
And the Number One Line You'll Never Hear in Ranma 1/2:
1. Anyone: "Can't we all just get along?"
