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By Mike Thompson

Over the past two years that I have been penning this weekly world of wonder called "On TV with Mike Thompson," I have written about shows that I watch on a regular basis. I’ve had columns about Simpsons, Frasier, Malcolm in the Middle, That ‘70s Show, and so on. But, as I’m winding down to the end of my senior year, it’s dawned on me that I never wrote a show that I have been watching at least once a week or so for the past 15 years. I’m talking about All My Children.

Yes, I watch a soap opera. And I’m not ashamed to admit it. I don’t think it takes anything away from my masculinity. Frankly, it’s time we all grew up and moved away from the whole "soap operas are for girls and sissies" mentality. I’ve been watching All My Children (hereafter referred to as AMC) since I was about six years old; I turned out perfectly fine. But I’ve got to admit, I became hooked early on.

I was introduced to AMC early in my life. By the time I was in middle school, the show had become an after school staple. I’d videotape it while I was at school and watched it when I came home. This proved a very effective technique, as I was able to fast-forward through commercials as well as the less interesting scenes. In college, I no longer tape it, but I watch it when I can, just to keep tabs on what’s going on.

I freely admit that AMC is far from a perfect show. There are boring scenes and storylines in the show, just as there has been for as long as I’ve been watching it. But there has never been enough dull stuff to offset the interesting stuff. From Tad seemingly falling to his death (only to resurface with amnesia two years later), to Natalie getting thrown into a well and her identity stolen by her crazy evil twin Janet, to Janet bashing in Will’s head with a crowbar, to Dimitri stealing Edmund and Maria’s baby, to Adam switching Jake’s sperm with his own and therefore making sure Liza’s baby is his own flesh and blood, AMC has done it all, and certainly kept things interesting over the years.

Currently on AMC, there are a few pretty engrossing storylines going on. The most captivating story involves Tad Martin, his wife Dixie, the evil Dr. David Hayward, and the insane Leslie Coulson. A few months ago, David, trying to spark an affair with Dixie, drugged all the guests (which included much of Pine Valley, the fictional town in which AMC is set) at a party that was thrown on a boat. Leslie was in on the plan, and David hoped that Leslie could seduce Tad into sleeping with her, thereby making it okay for Dixie to leave him and go to David.

Now, Leslie convinced Tad that he did sleep with her, when in fact he did not. When Tad confessed to Dixie, she left him, and went to David. Leslie thought this would free up Tad to get with her, but when Tad didn’t want to, Leslie flipped. She tried hurling Dixie over a balcony, to her death, but instead Leslie wound up falling off the balcony. As I write this, Leslie is still alive, but just barely. And she’s one of three people who know the truth about David drugging the party guests.

Another person who knows the truth about what happened the night of the party is involved in another very intriguing storyline. Among the guests that night were Hayley and Mateo Santos. Hayley’s mother Arlene, an alcoholic, helped to serve David’s drugged drinks. Hayley, a recovering alcoholic, didn’t have any drinks but Mateo did. In his drugged state, Mateo thought that Arlene was really Hayley, and Arlene nearly slept with him. An enraged Hayley found Arlene and choked her until she passed out. Hayley’s father Adam Chandler found Arlene’s body, presumed her to be dead, and dumped her overboard.

As things have since turned out, Arlene didn’t really die. Instead, she went to a tropical island while the folks in Pine Valley thought that she was dead. A guilt-ridden Hayley briefly went insane and started taking on Arlene’s personality. Now back to her normal self, Hayley, Mateo, and Adam are currently starting to figure out Arlene’s whereabouts.

Unfortunately, the third and final person who knows David’s secret is involved in arguably the most boring storyline currently featured on AMC. Alexandra Marick saw what David did, and she was soon kidnapped and disappeared from the show for months. This was done so that Finola Hughes, who plays Alexandra, could go on maternity leave. Unfortunately, though, her husband Dimitri and brother-in-law Edmund obsess over her whereabouts all the time, and it’s boring to watch. Supposedly, Dimitri and Edmund are about to track her down, so maybe she’ll return to the show soon and we can stop having to deal with this tiresome storyline.

Not all of the stories on AMC have to do with David’s drug. Another very interesting story has been Erica Kane’s reaction to her daughter Bianca, who recently came out of the closet. Always worried about her public image, Erica is afraid how her daughter’s lesbianism will affect her. More importantly, though, the oft-married Erica feels she failed as a mother by not raising a heterosexual daughter.

What turns some people off about AMC, and, indeed, about most soaps, is the sub-par acting and production skills. Well, considering the minimal rehearsal time and the low budget that the daily soap opera dictates, I think AMC turns out pretty darn well. The stories, for the most part, are interesting. And you don’t need to watch it every day. I don’t have the time for that. I watch AMC once a week or so, and I do just fine. I’m sure there’s at least one day a week when you’re not doing anything in the early afternoon. So give AMC a shot. The show airs weekdays at 1 PM on ABC, which is located at channels 7 and 10 here at Marist.