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In my "Mid-Season Report Card" column two weeks ago, I briefly touched on the WB sitcom Zoe, and labeled it "woefully unfunny." I didn’t mention Zoe’s Monday-night sitcom counterpart, Brutally Normal, because I hadn’t seen it. Well, this past Monday (Feb. 14) I gave Zoe another shot and also checked out Brutally Normal. WB has never been known for great sitcoms (or even good ones), and these two shows are no exception. While one show is better than the other, neither of these shows are very good.

Let’s start with Zoe. WB bills it as a "new" show, but it really isn’t. It actually debuted under the title of Zoe, Duncan, Jack and Jane in January 1999. It revolved around four teenaged friends: Zoe Bean (Cruel Intentions’ Selma Blair), Duncan Milch (David Moscow), Jack Cooper (Michael Rosenbaum) and his sister Jane Cooper (Azura Skye). The show also featured Mary Page Keller (a veteran of bad sitcoms) as Zoe’s mom, Iris. I checked out Zoe, Duncan, Jack and Jane a couple times last year, and I found it to be, for the most part, pretty unfunny. The show didn’t fare that well in the ratings, and thus was kept off WB’s 1999-2000 schedule. The network did keep it around as a midseason replacement, though. The show, shooting for ratings success, was revamped and the title was shortened. That’s why when the show had its second season debut a few weeks ago, WB billed it as the "series premiere" of Zoe.

The new Zoe was set three years after the last episode of Zoe, Duncan, Jack and Jane (my, how time flies in TV land!), and the lead characters are now at college. Zoe and Jane are roommates, as are Duncan and Jack. Mary Page Keller is gone from the cast, and Doug (Omar Gooding) has been promoted from a recurring character on Zoe, Duncan, Jack and Jane to a regular character on Zoe. Of course, Gooding would have fared better if his character had remained a recurring character. In fact, everybody associated with this show would probably be better off if WB just cancelled it.

That may seem cruel, but this show is terrible. While Zoe, Duncan, Jack and Jane was pretty bad, at least it was still watchable. This new concoction isn’t even watchable. The characters are stock sitcom cutouts and the acting stinks (with the exception of Blair, who should try to get out of this mess and into something good as soon as she can). Worse still, the writing is terrible. The plots are total cliches, and are incredibly stupid. The show is like one of those dopey NBC Saturday morning teen sitcoms, only with higher production values. Also, the laugh track heard on the show is among the phoniest sounding laugh tracks I have ever heard. In a way, I guess this is a good thing, since no studio audience should be made to watch these lame jokes. Here’s a typical bit that gets a big laugh from the Zoe canned laughter. An ill Jane sits up on the sofa and looks down at the floor. "When did we get a spinning rug?" she asks. HA-HA-HA-HA-HA goes the mechanical laugh machine. CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK-CLICK goes your remote control as you desperately try to find something else to watch.

After Zoe comes Brutally Normal. This show isn’t as horrible as Zoe, but it is still in need of improvement. Brutally Normal revolves around the everyday life of a teenager, Pooh (Mike Damus, last seen in the unappreciated sitcom Teen Angel), and his friends, Russell (American Pie’s Eddie Kaye Thomas) and Anna (Lea Moreno). This concept is nothing new. Part of what distinguishes Brutally Normal from other sitcoms is that it is filmed with one-camera, like a movie. This is in stark contrast to Zoe and most other live-action network sitcoms (with the exceptions of Malcolm in the Middle and Sports Night), which are filmed with three cameras, and are very obviously filmed on a standard studio set. The show thankfully has no laugh track, and it utilizes funky camera angles a la Parker Lewis Can’t Lose. Unfortunately, these distinguishing characteristics don’t matter as much as they could, because the rest of Brutally Normal is so brutally average.

Yes, there are problems with Brutally Normal. Jokes fall flat as a pancake more often than not. Some of the characters, such as Russell, are little more than cliches and need to be fleshed out. However, the nail in Brutally Normal’s coffin comes with the writing. The plot of the Feb. 14^th episode had Pooh suspecting that his father was having an affair with Anna’s mother. Of course, there turns out to be no affair. The suspected-affair-that-turns-out-to-be-nonexistent is a long-standing convention of sitcoms, dating back to I Love Lucy. Unfortunately, Brutally Normal offered no variations on this convention, and the result was unfunny and predictable.

Brutally Normal desperately wants to be something it’s not (at least, not yet). It wants to be a satire of present-day teenage life. Some elements of that are there, such as when Pooh comments, "The only thing that separated me from the other, cooler kids was that I came from a functional family with two parents." Unfortunately, for the most part Brutally Normal is bogged down by poor, predictable writing. However, it does have potential, and it may develop into an okay show if it is given some time. Zoe, on the other hand, has no potential at all. It really deserves to be put out of its misery. That has a good chance of happening, since it is pulling in horrible ratings. Brutally Normal’s ratings are even worse, so it will likely also be cancelled. So, if you want to see how it is to go thirty minutes without even cracking a smile, tune in to Zoe, which airs Mondays at 9 on Channel 11 here at Marist. And if you want to watch a sitcom that’s merely mediocre, watch Brutally Normal, which airs Mondays at 9:30, immediately following Zoe. But check them out while you can; I feel time is running out on both these shows.