|
|
"Battle of the Sexes"
Jackie: You beat Eric at basketball!
Donna: I beat him at basketball what's the big deal?
Jackie: Eric will never be your boyfriend if you keep beating him at stuff. Okay it's like West Side Story, if Maria beat Tony at one on one they would have never fallen in love.
Donna: Yeah and Tony would have never been killed in that knife fight.
Jackie: and neither will Eric if you're not careful.
"That Disco Episode"
(Michael comes running down the middle of the disco dancing embarrassingly weird. He goes and has a seat next to Jackie.)
Michael: Jackie where'd you go?
Jackie: I had to find something for you to bite on. Because I told everyone you were having a seizure.
"The Drive In"
Jackie: "The Omen". That's at the drive-in.
Donna: I know. I don't know what to do. I mean I like Eric and I'd like to have a physical relationship but-
Jackie: It is called make out. Say it!
Donna: Alright make out. But I don't want it to be public. I don't want it to be tacky. I don't want it to be pressured. And now it's like this tacky public makeout thing.
Jackie: I understand. Everybody wants their first makeout to be special. In a romantic place like Ireland or Disney World.
Donna: Disney World?
Jackie: Right. Sorry. Okay, let's focus.
"Eric's Birthday"
Jackie: No-Donna, help me find my purse...NOW!
Donna: You don't have a purse.
Jackie: I know that. You can't give him his gift in front of his guy friends.
Donna: I am one of his guy friends.
Jackie: Look Donna I have put a lot of thought into this. Please don't wreck this for me.
Donna: I'm sorry. I guess I was being selfish.
Jackie: It's okay.
"Sunday, Bloody Sunday"
Kelso: Jackie don't go. Steve Martin's hosting Saturday Night Live.
Jackie: I hate that show. Okay they've got these commercials that you think are real but they're not real. And then-you want to buy the stuff! See you Michael.
(Jackie exits.)
Everyone: Bye!
Jackie: Shut up!
"Thanksgiving"
Jackie: Are you okay.
Donna: Uh yeah.
Jackie: Donna how can you be okay. There is a college woman sleeping in his bed.
Donna: But he's sleeping in the basement.
Jackie: Donna, stairs will not stop a high school horndog. Barbed wire will not stop a high school horndog. Walls of fire will not...
Donna: Jackie I get it.
Jackie: Poor Donna. So naive.
"The Best Christmas Ever"
Jackie: I just love Christmas it's all about good tidings, oh and shopping.
Steven: Yeah I'm pretty sure that's what Jesus was going for.
Jackie: Hey I give too. Every year my friends and I give gift baskets to the unfortunate.
Donna: I think you mean less fortunate.
Jackie: Okay whatever-bums.
(Different scene)
Donna: Well Hyde it doesn't matter how much a gift costs as long as it's personal and sentimental.
Jackie: You know what's personal and sentimental? Diamonds!
(Different scene)
You got in trouble for me Michael? (crying) Oh I love you so much!
