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It was strange, precisely because it wasn't strange. She still felt like herself, and everyone still treated her like herself, even though they all knew that she wasn't. She wasn't Dawn Summers. She wasn't anything.
Well--that wasn't entirely true, on either count. She wasn't nothing, she was the Key. Energy, trapped and important, zapping beneath false skin. She stroked it. It still felt like skin. She smelled it. It smelled like her peach lotion.
As for the other part...no one treated her exactly the same. Buffy was nicer to her, for one, and the others kept throwing her little looks like, "Will she explode? If I hug her, will she electrocute me?" Mom was mostly the same. She still hugged Dawn and kissed the top of her head and made her soup, but she also gave her sad looks from the corner of her eyes when she thought Dawn wasn't looking. So yeah, they all treated her differently, in a way that was slightly off. Just slightly.
Except for Spike. Maybe it was because he was a vampire, maybe it was because he was in love with Buffy, maybe it was because he was the one who helped her find out, but he treated her the same. Just the Slayer's little sis, which used to be annoying but was now just strangely comforting.
It was strange. Now that she had found out, all she wanted to do was climb into someone's lap and cuddle with them, like a puppy. She wanted to be Mom's lil' punkin belly and Willow's Dawnie, and even Faith's Little Miss Muffet, which was what she had called Dawn the time she'd kidnapped her. Hell, she would even settle for being Spike's nibblet.
Well...not in the literal sense.
And of course, she wanted to take that wish back as soon as she made it, because he walked right into the magic shop at that moment, and sat down next to her on the steps. He looked good, and it hurt that she could still adknowledge that. She wasn't human. She shouldn't think that the Backstreet Boys and Xander and even Spike were hot. She was something else. Go be attracted to a light socket, or something.
She remembered that Spike wasn't human, and she felt a little better. But not much.
He was sort of throwing little sideways glances at her, and she sighed, turning to him. "Are you gonna be like them, too? Wondering what I am, if I can hurt you?"
He looked down at her, eyebrow raised, all blue eyes and teeth. "No, pet. Just wanted to see if your sis is around. I found a vamp nest; thought she might want to check it out. And I could use some cash."
Dawn sighed, putting her chin in her hands and staring at the carpet. "Oh."
For a second he looked almost sympathetic, and he moved closer to her on the steps. She could feel his leather jacket against her arm, and his thigh was cold but comforting next to her own. "And how are you doing, nibblet?" His voice was soft, if slightly amused.
She gave him a look. "You don't have to pretend to be nice to me."
"You don't have to pretend that you're alright. You're a freaking lamp, plugged in to every socket in the world, and everyone's acting like its just a normal day." He looked through the doors to Giles and Buffy, training in the backroom. "It isn't."
She sighed her agreement and leaned against him slightly, hoping he wouldn't push her off. He didn't. He was cold, and he smelled like wet leather and cigarettes, which made her nose wrinkle. He was hard too, all angles and muscle, and she wondered if this was what Buffy had felt when she snuggled against Riley. Probably. But it was nice, and it was friendly, which was more than she had ever expected from Spike, even after he had helped her break into the store.
He put his arm around her and leaned in to whisper into her hair, so the others, looking through the books at the table, couldn't hear. "So what else is it, nibblet? What's got you all tangled up?"
Since he was already close, it was so, so easy to just lean in and whisper back, "Its not fair."
"Oh." Spike smirked. "Well, I knew that, pet. Life isn't fair. Not that I'd really know or anythin'..." He looked a little lost in that train of thought, but he got back on topic. "I know that you hate bein' some big important thing, because you're just a little girl and-"
"No!" She almost howled that last part, and Willow, Xander, and Tara looked up. Anya was behind the counter and didn't care, anyway. Dawn rolled her eyes and gave them a little 'pay no attention' gesture, and they looked back at their books, if uneasily.
Buffy yelled from the training room, "Everything okay in there?"
"I'm fine," she yelled back. She turned to Spike, looking him in the eyes defiantly. "I'm fine," she told him. "Its just...I don't get to have it."
"Have what?" he asked.
"Everything. There's some girl who's after me and she's strong. And she wants to hurt me. And even if Buffy stops her, I'm still the Key." She was looking back at the carpet now, toying with the holes in the knees of her jeans. "I don't get to have prom and go to the movies and do all of that people-stuff. I just get to be the Key, forever and ever. Maybe they wont even let me be Dawn, anymore. I've only gone to one dance before." Her voice dropped to a whisper. "I've never even gotten to kiss a boy."
"Dawn."
She looked up at him in surprise. She didn't think that he had ever called her by her name before, and even if he had, it wasn't in that sweet, older-brother way. The way that Riley used to talk to her, but less irritating. And her fingers on her chin were cold, and callused, but it felt very very good when he stroked her cheek with a nicotine-stained thumb.
His lips were on hers and then gone in a second, less even. He had licked them first, and they were wet, and strangely warmer than the rest of him. She flicked her tongue out hesitantly and he tasted like cigarettes and something earthy that she thought was maybe, maybe blood.
She wondered what she tasted like. And hey, she hadn't electrocuted him or anything. It was nice.
He smiled at her softly, blue eyes twinkling, and chucked her on the chin. She felt suddenly better, and smiled up at him sunnily as he stood, walking back into the training room.
She sat back on the steps, still smiling. She felt Xander's eyes on her, and knew that he had seen, and knew that he was grateful that it hadn't been him that she had confessed to. That he wasn't the one who'd had to kiss her.
And oddly enough, she was grateful, too.
