|
|
Faith threw her things in the car with a muffled thump. Jig was up. Jig was fucking up and she didn't have to live in this "fleabag motel" anymore. Immoral liasons went on there. (Mostly mine, she thought with a hollow laugh.)
But forget them. She didn't need them. She didn't need anyone other than herself, and she was here, wasn't she? She was fine.
She ignored the shaking in her limbs and got into the car. As soon as the Mayor realized that she had no transportation, he had given her this sweet black thing. She just screamed "danger" in that thing; although, she screamed "danger" everywhere else too.
She looked at her feet on the pedals, put her hands on the steering wheel. Then she dropped her head onto her hands. "And what are you gonna do now, Faith? What?" She wiped blindly, angrily at the tears on her cheeks and wondered why they were there.
Starting the car, she shivered. This was it. She was walking away from her life as a Slayer, walking away from her life as Faith, the no one. Now she the Mayor's right hand man, she was someone to be reckoned with. She was someone.
She couldn't ever remember feeling this high, this important, and yet this shitty when she was just the Slayer. At least before she could brush over the drinking and the fucking and the bad girl clothes and say, "Essentially, I am a good person." Now she couldn't even say that.
She reached under her seat for a CD, and came up with just one. "Goddammit," she muttered, hoping for some Korn, or at least something along those lines. This particular CD was that she had borrowed from Willow, back in her goody two shoes days. All the magazines said that sharing someone's interests was the best way to become a good friend. She didn't even like this chick, but Willow had seemed so into her that she asked to borrow it anyway. She'd never actually gotten around to listening to it.
Well, better now than never. She took out the CD, put it into the player, then tossed the CD case out the back with a wicked grin. It wasn't like Willow was ever going to get it back anyway.
She clicked until she heard something cute and fast-sounding, then sat back and drove. She loved this, this feeling of freedom she got, speeding through the town with the wind in her hair. All the cops knew not to stop her in that car--the Mayor had said that she was his niece or something, and she got to have all the luxuries.
Anyway, she had to think, and this was easy to think to. Light, breezy... Why did she feel so bad about this, about betraying her "friends?" She was Faith. She needed no one. That was how it had always been.
Her mom had been this...drunken slut. Guess that's where I get it from, she thought wryly. When she'd finally gotten so sick that even Faith couldn't deal with her anymore, she'd been dumped at her grandmother's house. The old woman had been kind, but...fuck! Did she really expect her to kneel down and pray to a God who had given her a drunken mother, a junkie father...
And then, as soon as she'd gotten away from that crazy bitch, and was able to really be free--on the streets, where there was no bedtime/prayertime/dinnertime--she'd been hauled right back off it again by her damn Watcher. She'd been a good woman, and there was no excuse for how she had died. Faith clenched the steering wheel hard, leaving indentations and nearly ripping off some of the leather with her fingernails. She could still recall the look on her Watcher's face as she died; the way her lips had formed Faith's name at the time of her death...
She could also remember the way Kakisto had looked when she'd stuck that big ol' piece of wood in his back. The way he'd exploded, completely confounded at his own loss of immortality.
She probably wouldn't be doing much monster-killing now that she was working for the Mayor. She'd already faced up to the fact that she'd have to kill humans; she was fine with that. But there was something so satisfying about beating the hell out of a big monster and then ripping him to shreds. Humans just weren't much of a challenge.
She wondered when she'd gotten so cold. She knew that she'd have to kill humans, and she didn't care. She knew that she'd probably have to kill the Scooby Gang, and she didn't care. She was just...numb.
And maybe it was better that way. She didn't have to feel guilt or love or anything.
Still, she just couldn't forget everything that had happened to her while working with Buffy and her little crew. She'd been a part of something. She'd been someone.
She straightened up. No. Now she was someone. Now she was Faith, the Mayor's right hand girl.
She didn't have to worry anymore. He would take care of her.
