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The Eries and Folken Files:
Chapter Three
" Broken Promises "
Eries
______When you love someone
______Does anyone become this lonely?
______Do they embrace suffering
______Deeper than the dark night?
______I stood, staring out my window, looking out at the stars shining brightly in the sky, the cold night outside. My hand clutched feebly at the wine glass by my side, trying to numb my nerves, hoping the cold would stop the feelings rushing through me. Hoping it would stop the pain zigzagging within me, scorching me with its flame. Zaibach, I thought, twisting the glass in my hand, For ten years, nothing. And then now ...Zaibach!
______I felt the anger well up inside of me, the pain resonating through my body. I gripped the glass in my hand, trying to control my anger. All those years I thought you had been captured, or worse...killed! How could you?! How could you go against everything you believed in? How could you just sit back and watch your country go up in flames?! How could you....how could you break the promise you made to me long ago?! Oh, Folken...
______The glass burst within my hand, and I watched as its shards fell, down to the pavement below, down to the cold gravel mingled with my blood and wine. Pressing my lips tightly together I willed myself not to cry. I wasn't about to cry. Not for him. Not now, not ever. He had betrayed his country, his own brother, all those who had believed in him. And he had betrayed me. For all those ten years that he was gone my love had never wavered. I had believed in him and would've continued on my faithful vigil until my very death, hoping that someday he would come back. He made me a promise, that's what I always told myself.
______Promises were made to be broken.
______I looked down at my hands as they dripped with blood. By now I could not even feel the pain through my fingers. Anger had numbed my senses and all I could feel was this strangely calming sensation. It was all too familiar to me. It was the same feeling I used to get when people mentioned Folken's death a long time ago. When he had disappeared, everyone believed that the dragon had killed him. I almost believed that story myself and that numbing sensation would wash over me time and time again. And yet, I still could not fully believe what their wagging tongues would feed my ears. Deep in my heart I knew that he was still alive. I still seemed to feel his presence somewhere...out there. Many times I considered going out; just escaping from the royal duties of the palace to follow him into the woods where I knew he would be waiting for me. But that feeling quickly passed as the days turned into nights, and weeks into months and into years. They were just fleeting moments of fantasy. After a while, I found myself returning to my normal way of thinking, the way which dealt with reason and practicality and not matters of the heart. So my whimsical wanderings really amounted to nothing and I never saw Folken again. And of course, it was back to being the King's obedient child. I often wondered just what exactly was stopping me from standing up and following Folken. It was an easy task; climbing out of the window and escaping into the dark night. But I guess I myself felt afraid of what might happen if I did. They were just spurred impulses and nothing more, right? I had to tell myself that many times for me to actually believe it. It was easier to say that than admit to the fact that I was a coward. Yes, I was a coward. Still am. I guess nothing's really changed over the past few years.
______When you're in love, will the
end
______Eventually come to everyone?
______Would you abandon a heartbeat
______Even clearer than the blue sky?
______Sometimes, late at night, I would think about Folken and wonder. Whether or not he was really alive somewhere and why he wasn't coming back. I wondered whether or not he met a girl to replace me. Sometimes I even wondered if I really had a place in his heart. They were just small little insecurities that used to haunt me back in those days. The days when I believed in things such as knights in shining armor; princes who would sweep maidens off their feet and people actually living happily ever after. What a bunch of crock! I was a silly little goose back then. Very naive too. It was all clear to me now how the world worked. There was or is no 'happily ever after.' The world's filled with too much problems for anyone to be happy for that long. And for me, I've quit believing in such things as 'forever love' or 'endless romances.' They just didn't work out that way. Sooner or later one of you is bound to get tired of the other. And it's obvious which one that was in my own romance.
______Have I become cynical? I guess I have. Well, there's no helping that now. Folken taught me a good lesson, even if it was a very bitter one. Well, I do think it's high time for me to put all that in the past. After all, I spent ten years waiting and worrying recklessly over something that was bound to destroy me later. It would be impractical to dwell on such things anyway.
______Impractical. How I hated that word! If I hadn't worried so much about that stupid word Folken and I would have...
______I sighed. What was the use? It truly is hard to forget something that's been a part of you for so long. The wound that Folken slashed upon me was still fresh and it was hard to put it aside. Only time could heal that and I decided to give myself much of that. I had a lot more things to worry about after all. And one of them was Millerna.
______Millerna, through the years, had grown to be more and more of an impulsive child. I was hoping that training her to become the royal princess she was destined to be would curb her wild spirit but it only seemed to ignite it. When father put down her request of becoming a doctor it turned her quite on to the rebellious side. But that was easy to mend as I told her of how much else I had to give up as a Royal Astorian princess. It put her mind at ease and we grew closer to each other somehow. I had hoped things would've have gone smoothly by then. I was wrong. The appearance of an unexpected factor switched her rebelliousness to its supreme height. And it also began driving me away from her, breaking the new bond that I had created with my sister.
______Footsteps.
______I stirred from my position at the window and turned, just in time to see Allen carrying that curious girl he had brought along with him up to her room. I followed them, flitting into the shadows, and stood behind the doorway as he began tucking her into bed. I watched his expression. Somehow, it seemed familiar. I had seen it before, only on a different man. I pressed my lips together and entered the room. Allen looked up in surprise and we both eyed each other carefully, pondering each other's moves.
______" What can I do for you, Princess?" Allen asked me as I approached him. " Allen, please do not lead Millerna on anymore. I know she has feelings for you, but you only like her because she reminds you of Malena. Millerna looks more and more like her each day. I know it's difficult for you to forget her but Millerna is not Malena. I don't want to see her unhappy," I told him softly then added, " It's always the women who suffer in the end."
______He looked at me angrily before looking down, his tone of voice serious enough. " I no longer love anyone," he admitted. I gauged him, trying to see if what he was telling me was true. But I caught sight of that strange, brown-haired girl by the bed again and thought otherwise. " Liar," I spat to his face before making my exit. I passed Millerna on my way back to my chambers and I noticed there was a bit of a starry-eyed expression on her face. I knew where she was going to go, or who she was planning to find. I tried calling her name out but she was too deep into her thoughts. I decided to let it pass. Instead, I headed inside and tried to get some sleep.
______But there was no sleeping that night as the Zaibach forces arrived. And no sleep either for the rest of the days following the city's burning. For me, anyway. I had to keep my eyes and ears open for any of Millerna's tricks. Allen had decided to go after Hitomi, the strange girl, and the king of Fanelia and his cat-like companion. Millerna of course tried to follow him. Typical of a woman in love. I tried stopping her but it was Allen himself who sent her back to the palace and stopped her plans of escape. It was admirable really. I had to give him credit for that. It was against Millerna's wishes though and I knew that first blocked attempt wouldn't be the last.
______I was right.
______Two days after Allen's departure I found my sister yet in another plan to leave Astoria. And somehow I knew that there was no stopping her this time. I tried reasoning with her once more but her mind was made up. There was no changing that. I could've reported her to the guards; I could've told Father. I could've bound her up myself even! But I didn't. I let her go. Why? Because I knew it was something she had to do. Because I thought it would make her happy, that this time her own story wouldn't end up as bitterly as mine did. But mostly because I admired her courage in leaving everything to set out for the man she truly loved, something I was so afraid to do a long time ago.
______Even if I lose tomorrow
______Or I lose you as well
______I want you to shine with all
your heart.
______I watched the carrier that held my sister take flight and set out towards the vast horizon. And quietly, I walked back to the castle, my footsteps echoing across the empty courtyard.