|
|
A long time ago, in a galaxy not THAT far away...
Star Wars opening theme...
STAR WARS
Episode IV
No hope.
It is a period of martial arts war. Rebel
fighters, striking Happo-fire-bursts from a hidden
base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic Empire.
During the battle, Rebel spies
managed to steal secret plans to the Empire's ultimate weapon,
the ANYTHING GOES STAR, an armored
space station with enough power
to destroy an entire planet.
Pursued by the Empire's sinister
agents, Princess Akane races home aboard her starship, costudian of
the stolen plans (and scrolls)that can save
her people and restore freedom
to the galaxy...
Outher space, the star
destroyer called the
Devastator is shooting
against the rebel vessel Tantive 4 over the planet
of Tatooine.
Aboard the Tantive 4...
*BOOM*
Briareos: Did you hear
that?!
They're shutting down
the main reactor!
*K-KHOOM*
R2-B2: BEEEOB-BLEEP!
Briareos: This is madness,
the empire attacks us, searching for
the secret plans!
(I haven't experienced
such a thing since I was in the swat!
Of corse that is a
long time ago!
R2-B2: BEEEP, BLEEOP!
Briareos: How I can
remember so far back?!
I have never been
memory-wiped!
(As far as I know!)
*BOOM*
A bunch of rebel warriors
looking strangely like the students of furinkan high
runs towards the entrance
of the ship!
Rebel warrior: Enter your possitions!
Outside the ship, the
Devastator uses its tractor beam, drawing the
Tantive 4 towards
it...
The door opens and
a hole army of storm-troopers enters, the first is shooting
wildly around himself!
Rebel warrior: ATTACK!
*S-SHOOM, S-SHOOM*
Several stormtroopers enters, and the Rebels draws back!
Darth Vader enters,
he looks like Darth Vader in a suit with a pattern looking
very much like a panda.
He lifts up a Rebel
warrior with one hand.
Vader [Holds sign]: <Where are those plans?!>
Rebel warrior: *GHKK* I, *HUFF* don't know...
<If you don't say
it, I'll first trow you in the Nyannichan and then
send you to Emperor
Happosai!>
Rebel warrior: NO,
NOT THAT!
I,don't know, princess
Leia've got them...
Vader drops him.
Another corridor in the Tantive 4...
Akane, dressed up as Leia stands by the droids holding some kind of card...
Akane: Give this to Obi-Wan Kenobi!
R2-B2: BWEEOP!
Akane tries to get
the card into some kind of opening in R2's head,
but of some reason
it doesn't get in.
Akane: AAARGH!
Damn droid!
*BOOT*
Akane kicks R2.
R2 hits the wall.
Briareos: Your highness, don't you think that you're overreacting?!
Akane: Shut up, or I'll kick you too!
Briareos: ...
Akane: Well, when a gentle touch doesn't work...
*BLAM, BLAM*
The card "slides" into the socket...
Akane: ...violence is the right thing!
R2-B2: *BWEEEOP, BLEEEP, BWEEEEOP*
The droids moves away, to search for another way out.
Storm-trooper: I've found her!
Akane: What the...
*Z-ZING*
Akane gets hit by the trooper's stun-gun, and falls to the floor!
The Storm-trooper carries her to Darth Vader...
In the meantime, R2 has found an emergency exit.
R2-B2: BWEEP-BLEEOP!
Briareos: What are
you doing?!
We're not allowed
in there!
(Why am I acting so
cowardly, it must be those OOC beams the empire shot at us!)
R2 doesn't care what the metal-headed swat freak says and enters anyway!
C-3PO: Or...who cares,
It's better than dying!
(Or eating Daunan's
food!)
He enters and the escape pod falls down to the planet Tatooine!
The Devastator...
Imperial commander:
Look, master Vader, an escape pod,
there is no registered
life aboard!
Vader: <It must
be the plans!
Send down some forces
immideatly!>
Imperial commander: Yes Sir!
Tatooine...
The droids has just arrived and comes out of the escape pod, freezed!
Briareos: C-C-COLD...!
R2-B2: BEEP, BLEEP, BWEEOP!
Briareos: Well, the OOC effect is over, now I am ready to kick the empire's butts!
R2-B2: BWEEP!
Briareos: What, I am
not going that way!
What?
No!
That field looks more
desert-like, more exiting!
Rock canyon?
Well, go that way,
then!
R2-B2: BWEEP!
The droids splits up...
Briareos: My scanners sense something...
(Infrared camera with zoom!)
Briareos: ...a transport!!
I am saved!
Switch to rock canyon, R2-D2 moves around checking for lifeforms...
*T-TIK*
A rock falls...
R2-B2 can see the silhouette
of a pesky little creature, not
above one meter sticking
its head up from a cliff above!
R2-B2 moves on...
The Jawa, better known
as Datcha, probably the leader of the tribe
jumps out of a tiny
alcove in a rock!
*ZOT*
R2-B2 gets stunned by Datcha's stun-gun!
Datcha: Utinni!!
("Utinni" is Jawa-language
for "come here"! Or, that'sd what people want you to think,
the first man ever
understood Jawa language was the smuggler Rycar Rejerd, he probably
said it was come here
because it really ment something much more perverted.)
A hole bunch of Jawas
runs down from the canyon, shouting things
that a fanfiction
writer hardly can understand and carries the R2-unit
off to a big mining
device later called "The Sandcrawler".
The sandcrawlers junkheap,
focus at a mining droid, pulling it self over the heap, then
on a R5-unit who later
will mean very much in Ryoga Skywalker's future!
Briareos lies at the loading bay, and wakes up of a well-known peeping!
R2-B2: BWEEEEOP-BLEEP!
Briareos: R2-B2!
Scene changes to Tendo
Moisture farm (looks excactly like the Tendo Dojo
except for the voparators
around it!
Kasumi: Ryoga! Ryoga!
Ryoga Skywalker turns, saying "Coming Aunt Tendo!"
He runs out in the desert...
Kasumi: Must have gotten lost again...
A hour passes...
Ryoga: Here I am!
Kasumi: Check out if the Jawas sell a protocol droid who speaks "Swat"!
Ryoga runs the opposite way of the Sandcrawler!
Kasumi: Ryoga...
Ryoga: Yes?
Kasumi: The Sandcrawler is *that* way. (She points forward!)
Ryoga: (Points to the left!) So, you say that the Sandcrawler is that way?!
Kasumi: Sigh...
Ryoga walks by the Sandcrawler.
"Where can that Sandcrawler be?!"
Soun: You just walked by it son...
The Jawas brings the
droids out, some mining droids, a R1-unit, a R5-unit, R2-D2 and
Briareos!
Soun smiles...
Soun walks by the droids and stops by the R5-unit...
Soun: We'll take that one!
Ryoga: Kasumi said we had to find a Cyborg-protocol who speaks the law language of "Swat!
Soun stops by Briareos.
"Can you speak "Swat"?!"
Briareos. It's my first
language, I've been a
pointman in the Swat
for many years, so I kinda know what I am talkin' about!
Soun: Forget that one, he talks to much!
Briareos pulls out a gun...
Soun: Heh, we'll take him too!
Soun pays!
Ryoga, take the droids to the garage and get them cleaned up!
Ryoga: What, I was going to Toche station, to pick up some power converters!
Soun: You can waste time with your friends another time, besides, you wouldn't get there anyway!
Ryoga: C'mon, Red one! <Heh, My sosial life is so bad I am talking to an astromech droid!>
*K-KHOOM*
The droid blows up!
Ryoga: Hey, Tendo, this droid has a bad motivator, look!
Soun: And so do you son, WHAT?!
Soun [With battle aura]: Hey, what are you trying to to push on us?!
Soun stands in his samurai suit shooting arrows at the Jawas!
Briareos [Points at
R2]: Excuse me, sir, but that little
smeggdroid over there
is a perfect R2-unit, I have worked with before!
"Okay, we'll take that one!"
Luke enters the garage...
The garage...
Briareos: Thank the maker, this oil bath feels so good!
Briareos: I feel good, DUNUNUNUNU!!
Briareos: I am Briareos, human cyborg fighter pointman from the swat...
Ryoga: Stop the crap!
Briareos: And this is my counterpart R2-B2!
Ryoga: I am Ryoga Skywalker,
well known for my wretched
sense of direction!
I know that I am adopted,
noone else in this family has such!!
Briareos: I see "Ryoga"!
Ryoga: That's Master
Ryoga to you!
<Cyborgs have no
shame!>
Briareos: What a snobb!
Ryoga hits Briareos'
head very hard, so hard that a mark on his head can be seen,
the mark of the REBELLION!
Ryoga: You guys were
in the rebellion?!
Damn, nothing is fair,
here I am sitting on a giant sandheap, while a swat-obsessed cyborg and
a feisty li'l droid
has been in the rebellion!
Briareos: Well, you
bought me!
Is there any thing
I can do to help?!
Ryoga [Punches the
wall like a wacko]: Not unless you can speed up the harvest, get me off
this damn planet!!
Briareos: Well, can you at least tell me what planet this is?!
Ryoga: Well, if there
is a bright center of the universe
(wich I with my wretched
sense of direction would never reach!)
You're on the planet
that is farthest from!!
Ryoga notices the restraining bolt in R2-B2's control panel...
Ryoga: Hey, there is something *stuck* in here!
He pulls out the restraining bolt, and Akanes hologram appears at the holotable!
Ryoga: Wow!!
Akane: Help me
Ono-Wan Kenobi, you're
my only hope! Help me
Ono-Wan Kenobi, you're
my only hope!
Ryoga starts humming on "It must be love"!
Briareos: Aha, they
didn't name you R2-B2 for nothing, you are some kind of
shizo!!
Ryoga was adopted...by
his Uncle Tendo and apparently his cousins Nabiki,
and Kasumi.
Nabiki was well-knowed
for her economical sense and intelligence,
the onl reason she
still lives with her father is because of the pleasure off swindling
the coats of Jawas
in Mos Eisley.
Kasumi was a good cook
and very beautiful, she is said to be engaged with
the "Jedi" Tofu-Wan
Kenobi!
The Jedi's ment much
for the throne of Alderan in the clone wars, unfortunately
the Jedi's was thought
to be extinct by some kendo fighters, one of the few guys who
have used the suit
of one of those kendo fighters was the famous bounty hunter: Kuno Fett!!
Unfortunately, Kuno
Fett was equally stupid as his suit was cool!!
"Ryoga!"
Kasumi called for
from the kitchen!
Ryoga went to the dinner table...
The kitchen...
Kasumi pours some blue milk from banthas into the cups!
Ryoga empties the bottle.
Ryoga: Oncle Soun,
can't you just consider lettint me send in my applications to the
academy?!
Soun [Drinks his blue
milk]: *SLUUURP* You would never get there anyway!!
You're sense of direction
sucks!!
So, I'll learn to use a radar...
Soun: Imagine this Ryoga: A scene from a possible attack!!
Jusenkuyo leader to P-Chan, can you hear me P-Chan?!
P-Chan to Jusenkuyo leader, yes I am going near the system!
Jusenkuyo leader to Nyannichuan, Nyannichuan, can you hear me?!
Nyannichuan, Shonhmaonnichuan
etc. we're all here, Jusenkuyo leader,
but I can't see a
sign of P-Chan!!
Jusenkuyo leader to P-Chan, P-Chan, where are you?!
I am approaching a twin system!!
Jusenkuyo leader to
P-Chan, don't forget the presentation!!
And one more thing!!
Scene breaks into Soun
roaring: We were supposed to attack the deathstar, the Kiffex
system is 5 parcecs
away!![Calm], You would be in outher space before you knew it.
Besides, I could need
you during the harvest!
Nabiki [sarcasticly]: Good one father!!
Ryoga: Kasumi, do you know who Ono-Wan Kenobi?!
Soun: Yes, years ago there was a man named Ono-Wan Kenobi, but he is probably dead by now!
Ryoga: ...
Soun: When did you find out his name?!
Ryoga: That li'l droid,
had something implanted, it showed a beautiful girl talking about Ono-Wan,
sigh...
Nabiki: Our young boy has fallen in love...
Ryoga: Maybe he is related to your fiancée, Tofu Kenobi?
Kasumi: I never heard he had a brother...
Soun: Ryoga, tomorrow I want you to go to Ancorhead and get that li'l droid memory-wiped!!
Ryoga: But...
Soun: No buts, wipe the droid!
Ryoga: Don't you understand
at all?!
It got important information
about the rebellion!
Soun: So...
Ryoga leaves...
Night falls, and Ryoga
stands in the sunset, actually a double-sunset
since Tatooine lives
under a "double star" solar system!!
Ryoga: DAMN THIS PLANET!!
MY "UNCLE" WONT LET
ME LEAVE, MY SENSE O' DIRECTION SUCKS!!
I WISH...
*K-KHOOM, K-KHOOM*
Ryoga: A gun...
He runs into the garage seeing Briareos shooting wildly around himself!!
Ryoga: What'ya doing shooting fish, heh...
Briareos: Shaddap and
help me find and kill that pesky little
"counterpart" of mine!
Ryoga: DAMN!!
He starts hittin' his head against the wall!!
Ryoga: Soun will kill me if I don't get that droid!
Briareos: Take this
huntin' rifle, I'll be your pointman!
We'll leave this mornin'
Ryoga: And how shall
we manage that?!
I got a wretched sense
of dir...
Briareos stands still holding his hand like a puppeteer!
Next day at the dinner table..
Soun: Have any of you guys seen Ryoga around, I need his help!
Kasumi: He left, you know that droid...
In background Ryoga runs all over the farm looking for his speeder!
Nabiki: I'll tell ya' the real reason for five thousand credits!
Soun pays up.
Nabiki: He... [rubs her fingers]
Soun pays up.
Nabiki: ...went... [rubs her fingers]
Soun pays up.
Nabiki: ...to... [rubs her fingers]
Soun pays up.
Nabiki: ...look.. [rubs her fingers]
Soun pays up.
Nabiki: ...for... [rubs her fingers]
Soun pays up.
Nabiki: ...the... [rubs her fingers so hard smoke appears]
Soun pays up.
Nabiki: ...droid!
Soun: Well, he better find it, or there will be hell to pay!!
Kasumi: Didn't you already pay?
Scene changes to Ryoga' speeder, Briareos sits next to Ryoga.
Ryoga: There's a droid on the scanner!!
Briareos: Gee, it's the binary droid at your uncle's farm!!
After driving for several hours they can see R2-B2 on the scanner!
Briareos: There he is!
Ryoga turns the speeder!
Briareos wawes his arms saying "He went that way!!!!"
Ryoga: Yeah, that way [points in the opposite direction]!!
*BONK*
Briareos hits Ryoga in the head, taking control over the speeder.
The speeder stops in the canyon next to R2-D2
Briareos pulls out his taser stopping the droid.
Briareos: And where do you think you're go...
He gets disrupted by his sensors.
Briareos: I can seee
a race, hum,anoid, known
internationally as
Amazon Raiders approaching...
Ryoga [wakes up]: Sand Chicks?!
He grabs his hunting rifle heading up for a cliff (if he can find it).
Ryoga pulls out his electrobinoculars seeing a bantha and an Amazon Raider.
Ryoga: There's two
of them, but doesn't they usually come in tribes?!
[fade on the electrobinoculars]
What the?! (You can
never trust those Jusenkuyo magical binocular stuff anymore!!
Shampoo: Shampoo kill!!
Ryoga looks up, or
actually he means he looks down, but who cares, seeing the leader of the
group,
Shampoo, standing
over him with a gaffi stick!!
Ryoga: ...
Shampoo: SHAMPOO KILL IF YOU DON'T...Go to cat café Mos Eisley, ramen low charge now...
OKONOMIYAKI ANYONE?!
Shampoo: EEEEK!!
Ryoga turns looking
at a man wearing a cape.
He moves closer to
Ryoga, Ryoga takes up a battle position.
The man takes of his cape.
Ryoga: Tofu-Wan?!
Tofu: Yes, It's me!!
Tofu: The Jundland Wastes is a dangerous place, what are you doing here?!
Ryoga [points at R2-B2]: That droid!
Tofu-Wan: Why did he run away?!
He was talking about some Ono-Wan Kenobi, he got a message...is he a relative of you?!
Tofu: Ono-Wan Kenobi, that's a name I haven't heard in a long time...
Ryoga: Who is he?!
Tofu-Wan, he is me.
Ryoga: Are you some kind of shizo?!
Ono-Wan: No, it was because of...
Ryoga: KASUMI!!
Ono-Wan: Kasumi?! Where?!
He turns, punching
Ryoga in the face with his arm!
Scene changes to Ono-Wan's hut.
Ono-Wan: I've got something for you!!
Ryoga: What?!
Ono-Wan opens a chest.
Ono-Wan: This is your fathers weapons!!
Ono-Wan: The Jusenkuyo blaster!!
Ryoga: The Ju...Jusenkuyo blaster?!
Ono-Wan: It gives the one that is hit a curse, it've got a dozen of curses!!
Ono-Wan: And here is
your father's favourite napkin, his
favourite woman's
under wear, he's lucky trousers...
HERE IT IS!!
[Ryoga is carrying
plenty off stuff]
Your father's light
chainsaw.
Ryoga: My father was
just a test person for radars who got killed by his boss because
of his sense of direction...
Ono_Wan: No!!
He was a jedi!!
Ryoga turns on the light chainsaw...
*DRRRN DRRRRN PUT-PUT-PUT-PUT*
A blade of light bursts out of the chainsaw.
Ono-Wan: The first
character who used a light chainsaw was a man called Jason...
But he crossed to
the dark side...
*CHOP-CHOP-DRRRN-PUT-PUT-PUT*
Briareos: MY ARM!!
Ono-Wan: like the feeling
of it?!
It can chop throug
anything, but another chainsaw blade...
Briareos tries putting on his arm.
Briareos: There "master"!!
*K-KHOOM*
Ryoga turns seeing the beams of Briareos gun moving closer!
Ryoga: HA!!
*ZHOOP-DZING*
The beam recoils.
Ono-Wan: And it can also return gunpower!!
*ZHOOOOOOOOP*
Ryoga: What a weapo...*BONK*
Briareos hits Ryoga in the head...
Ono-Wan: A civilized weapon for a more civilized time!!
R2-D2: BWEEEOP-BLEEP!!
Ono-Wan: Okay, lets see what you're carrying.[smiles]
*SHOOP*
Princess Akanes hologram:
Dear Ono-Wan Kenobi, years ago, you bandaged my father's legs in the clone
wars,
this is our most desperate
hour, and the ship is under attack, help me
Ono-Wan Kenobi, you're
my only hope!
Ono-Wan: Ryoga!!
You are unconcious!!
Briareos whistles.
Ono-Wan: I think I've got some herbs for that somewhere...
Kasumi enters.
Kasumi: I think father
got caught as a hostage for an Ono-Wan Kenobi...
Nabiki escaped to
Mos Eisley.
What a shame.
Ono-Wan: Ka...Kasumi?!
Ryoga wakes up.
Kasumi: Oh, hi Tofu...
Ono-Wan: It's Ono-Wan.
Kasumi: Ryoga, are you hurt?
Ono-Wan stares at Kasumi.
Ryoga: Master, my head...
Ono-Wan: Okay.
Ono-Wan hits Ryoga in the head, giving Ryoga another bump.
Ono-Wan: How are you now?
Kasumi: I am going to Mos Eisley...Are you guys coming with me?!
Scene changes to the
Death Star, Star destroyers and tie fighters
are flying around
it, then switch to the cell where princess Akane is, she is
sleeping on the bench,
hitting the wall so hard there are big marks there.
Darth Vader and some
Death Star Troopers enters, bringing with them the droid
IT-O known for its
hypo potion who can even get the most proffesional liar tell the truth
Akane hits it, but
that doesn't seem to help that much.
(Droid gives the shot first to Darth Vader, then to the Death Star Troopers.)
Scene switches a cliff
over Mos Eisley while the shot is coming closer and closer to
princess Akane.
Ryoga: It've taken several days, but, here we are, Mos Eisley.
Briareos: Is this Mos
Eisley?!
We've drived through
it a hundred times!!
Mos Eisley was originally
built around the wreckage of the colony ship The Dovager Queen
Now the wreck remaiins
just for a monument where residents leave junk for Jawa scavengers.
(And crazy people
collecting junk.)
Scene changes to Mos
Eisley.
The landspeeder drives
throug Mos Eisley (Briareos drives),
you can see Jawas
trying to control unruly Banthas and droids whacking each other down,
wheen driving past
the Dovager queen, you can see a stone on the top of the junkheap saying
"SECRET SCROLL".
Some Sandtroopers stops the vehicle.
Sandtrooper 1: Are these droids yours?!
Ono-Wan: XI FA XIONG GAO SHIATSU TECNIQUE!!
Sandtrooper1: What are we here for?1
The speeder stops at the Mos Eisley "Cat Café".
The "Cat Café"
was started by the old Amazon, Cologne and her daughter Shampoo,
the only reason they
rised the café was because of a fiancée of Shampoo
(we will get back
to that later!)
Ono-Wan: This'll be a good place to find a pilot.
The crew enters, when Briareos walks through the door a device on the wall peeps.
Cologne Wuher: HEY, WE WANT NO DROIDS IN HERE!!
Briareos: You dried up old monkey, I am just a self-made man!!
Briareos gets thrown out by Shampoo.
In the background,
the bith Figri'n Dan and his band plays the bith shuffle,
a funky tune who rock
the world of Tatooine.
A short smelling jawa
sat by the bar, wearing the usual brown coat and
drinking some java
from a mug half the lenght of the java. beside the
jawa, a skinny alien
in a suit and glasses, sat, looking at the jawa's
java, trying to alternately
steal the java from the jawa; throw some
substance in the java;
or tip the mug. Thankfully the jawa was skilled with
his java and avoided
the skinny buisnessalien in his attempts to destroy
his java. On the suit-wearing
aliens chest, a small badge hang, saying:
Bill Gates.
Many coffee stains
could be seen on the floor. The jawa continued to sip
from his java as Bill
Gates made another attempt to ruin his java.
Ryoga sits down by the bar.
Cologne: May I take your order?!
Ryoga: Curry ramen.
Cologne: Ho ho ho!
She mixes some noodles and Juri Juice in a bowl and adds some curry.
(Juri Juice is an alcohol
replacement who normally knock minors out,
HameKabeHa is a good
example on that effect.
HameKabeHa is a young
female thief of Mos Eisley, who steals for living (duh)
Her attendant is a
Talz, a fuzzu, cute tree-eyed creature, which George Lucas could
make real money on
if he'd make some kind of plush-toy.
Anyway, HameKabeHa
often spends her moneys on juri juice, and everytime she drinks,
she gets knocked out
and her attendant have to carry her back home,
when making Windows
98, Bill Gates sure've had lots of Juri Juice......)
Ryoga eats it!
Ryoga falls.
Cologne...hehe, Juri Juice, works almost as alcohol...
Ryoga wakes up.
Ryoga: Old goal you...Yougoldoul...You old goal, what did ya do that for?!
Cologne: Calling me a goul eh?!
*ZIIING*
Ryoga gets hit by a Jusenkuyo gun.
Ryoga turns into a pig.
Dr. Evazan spills some Juri Juice on Ryoga.
Ryoga turns normal, standing right next to Pondus Baba.
(Pondus Paba is the
partner of Dr.Evazan, both equally smugglers, equally stupid
and eqally "good looking",
or so they thought...)
Pondus Baba: ROURRROOUR-RUGG.
Dr.Evazan: He doesn't like you.
Ryoga: You old goal,
why did you do this to me?!
...huh, well if he
doesn't like me it's his goddamn problem.
Dr. Evazan: I don't like you either!!
He pulls out a blaster.
Ono-Wan: What, a blaster?!
He starts his light chainsaw!!
*WWWWWWWWRRRRR-PUT-PUT*
Ono-Wan sees Kasumi and falls down almost cutting Ryoga in half.
Ryoga pulls out his Jusenkuyo blaster.
Ryoga: I have learned...
*ZIIIING-ZIIING*
Dr.Evazan and Pondus Baba is now womprats.
The womprats escapes.
Ono-Wan stands in another part of the cafe talking to Boshek and a wookie.
He comes back to Ryoga.
Ono-Wan: I've found a pilot, this is Mousse.
The party walks over to a woman sitting by a table drinking juri juice.
Ranma Solotome: I am Ranma Solotome, the captain of the fastest ship in the galaxy.
Ryoga: What ship.
Ranma: You've never heard about the Wretched Sporrow?!
Ranma: I see you have
met Babo, one of my financial
casiers.
Ono-Wan: How much?!
Ranma: Meet my casier; Nabiki Tendo.
Ryoga: What the... are you doing here?!
Nabiki: Hey, I have
to make a living!!
17.000 credits.
Ono-Wan: Kasumi (sigh)
is coming with us!!
can't we get a recharge
since she is family?1
Nabiki: Nope.
Ranma: Meet me at docking bay 1/2!!
Ono-Wan: You have to sell your speeder.
Scene shanges to the
streets of Mos Eisley, Ryoga, Kasumi and
Ono-Wan sells the
speeder to Vioslea, an alien purchasing vehicles.
Back to the cantina, Greedo shows up near captain Solotome.
Greedo [points the gun at Solotome]: Oota-goota Solotome.
Ranma: Waddaya want.
Greedo: Jabba the Mutt groen shasch thar safhd leadirg...
Subtitled: Jabba the
Mutt wants his money!
He is waiting at the
docking bay.
If you won't pay he'll
take your ship!!
Jabba the Mutt was
a well-known gangster of Tatooine, really, he was a mutt,
in fact a son of Ryoga's
dog Checkers, he got found, and his language got
"translated", or so
they thought...
Ranma: Hola!!
I love my ship, if
he take that I can't even make a living!!
Ranma lurks out his blaster.
Greedo: Cash moukka nowth, Jabba the Mutt!!
Subtitled: Give your cash to Jabba the Mutt!!
*ZIIIIING*
Greedo turns into a moskito by Ranma's heavy Jusenkuyo blaster pistol.
*SMACK*
Ranma kills the bug
and walks over to the counter flipping a credit to Cologne,
saying "Sorry 'bout
the mess!"
Ranma leaves.
The Death Star.
Darth Vader stands next to grand Moff tar-Queen.
Grand Moff Tar-Queen
was an imperial officer with a weird past.
He used to be a drag
queen at some sleezy bar at Correllia,
Since people hated
his stripping, he got dipped in tar.
Later, he joined the
empire, and became a Grand Moff,
the name Tar-Queen
followed him anyway.
Grand Moff Tar-Queen:
her recistance to the mind probe is considerable.
It will be some time
untill we can extract any information from her.
Imperial Commander:
The final check-out is completed.
All systems are operateable,
what course shall we set?
Grand Moff Tar-Queen:
Perhabs she would respond to--
--An alternative form
of persuasion.
Grand Moff Tar-Queen: What do you mean?
Grand Moff Tar-Queen: I think it's about time we demonstrated the full power of this station.
Grand Moff Tar-Queen:
Set your course towards Alderaan.
Docking bay 1/2.
Ranma enters.
*SPLASH*
Ranma: What the...
Jabba the Mutt: Bow, wow, rough, bow-woov!
Subtitled: Ah, good to see the male Solotome!!
(Really: Take that stick and throw it, let's play fetch!!)
Ranma looks around,
seeing Kuno Fett, Sailor Bossk, AG-88, Sailor Zuckuss and
4-LOM.
Sailor Bossk was a,
strong, but clumsy reptile-like creature while AG-88 was an old assasin
droid
previously known as
IG-88, but time went by, and then his name became AG-88
(AGe-88).
Sailor Zuckuss was
a male gand, force sensitive, he and his partner 4-LOM had once helped
the rebels
to get rid off an
imperial officer.
Jabba the Mutt: Rouhgff, bow-wow-wow-wow!!
Subtitled: If you don't
pay, I will take your ship, and if it ain't here I've got lots
of bounty hunters
sticking around...
(Really: Feed me, play fetch...)
Ranma: Look Jabba, I've got some costumers, and when they pay I can pay you plus taxes!!
Jabba the Mutt: Bow-wow-wow!!
Subtitled: Okay, but if you not pay...
(Really: Let me chew at your shoes, the look like they tastes good, please?!!)
Ranma: Okay, Okay!!
KI-BLAST!!
The bounty hunters disappears...
Ranmas story is very
long...
It started with his
father, a gun-smith at Corellia had invented a
new blaster, giving
the one hitby the beam a curse changing them into
something else in
cold and hot water.
His father tested
it, hitting a mirror dioganally, making the beam hit
Ranma instead, he
turned into a girl...
He was a martial artist.
Later, he teamed up
with Mousse and started as a smuggler.
By playing a sabbac
game against Lando the gamblin king he won the Wretched Sporrow.
Scene changes to the Cat Café.
Cologne: Shampoo, hurry!!
Shampoo: What is hurry, Great-grand-mother?!
Cologne: Your groom will leave very soon, you must follow him!
Shampoo: Ranma sneak
away from Shampoo, eh?!
Shampoo kill!
Cologne: Don't kill him, fallow him and!!
Hours passes at the
docking bay, after a few weeks the crew arrives to the docking
bay.
Ryoga: Now where can that docking bay 1/2 be?!
Ranma and Ono-Wan: You have passed it a hundred times or something...
They enter the Wretched Sporrow.
The Wretched Sporrow...
The crew enters the cockpit.
Ranma glares at Shampoo and Bill Gates sitting in the cockpit.
Ranma: Shampoo, Bill gates?!
Shampoo: Wo ai ni!! (Hugs Ranma).
Bill Gates: I thought you might need my support.
The ship takes off, right in time for escaping the stormtroopers just entering.
Ryoga can see an imperial fighter.
Ryoga: They're going to cut us off!!
Ranma: Shaddapp, kid, we'll be safe just as I make the jump to light-speed!!
Ryoga: ...
Bill Gates: You better
hurry, they're using...
CIH!!
Ranma: My ship, the Mac-based computer!!!
*ZHOOOOP*
Bill Gates: Macintosh?!
You're kidding!!
Ranma: Shaddap Bill, it's upgraded, almost as good as an iMac!!
Bill Gates: Imac?!
Ranma: They won't follow us, not when i make the jump to...HYPERSPACE!!
Ship flies into hyperspace...
Background turns white.
Alderaan...
From the buildings
hosting the rebel bases at Alderaan, the sun is
shadowed by something
looking like a dark, shiny, death, killing moon...
Rebel1: Look, a dark, shiny, death, killing moon.
Rebel2: Now, were under a KILLING moon.
Rebel3: You have played too much computer games...
There will definetely be added more!!
