Deep Throat

Scully: Mulder, did you see their eyes? If I were that stoned -
Mulder: Ohhh, if you were that stoned what??

Scully: Just because I can't explain it, doesn't mean I'm going to believe they were UFO's.
Mulder: Unidentified Flying Objects. I think that fits the description pretty well. Tell me I'm crazy.
Scully: Mulder, you're crazy.

Mulder: There’s something I haven’t told you, Scully.
Scully: Something else?

Squeeze

Scully: Ah, Fox Mulder, Tom Colton.
Colton: So Mulder, what do you think? Does this look like the work of little green men?
Mulder: Grey.
Colton: Excuse me?
Mulder: Grey. You said green men. The Reticulan skin tone is actually grey. They're notorious for their extraction of terrestrial human livers, due to iron depletion in the Reticulan galaxy.
Colton: You can't be serious.
Mulder: Do you have any idea what liver and onions go for on Reticula?

Mulder: (To Scully) You wouldn’t shoot an unarmed man, would you, copper?

Scene with ' territorial ' Mulder, Squeeze [see Scenes]

Scully: Tom. We have authorized access to this crime scene. A report of you obstructing another officer's investigation might stick out on your personnel file. (Colton lets Mulder enter)
Colton: Look Dana, whose side are you on?
Scully: The victim's.

Scully: Genetics might explain the patterns. It also might explain the sociopathic attitudes and behaviors. It begins with one family member who raises an offspring, who raises the next child...
Mulder: So what's this, the anti-Waltons?

Scully: Oh my god Mulder, it smells like...I think it's bile.
Mulder: Is there any way I can get it off my fingers quickly without betraying my cool exterior?

Conduit

Mulder: This is the essence of science, you ask an impertinent question and you're on your way to a pertinent answer.

Scully: I just don't think it's a good idea to antagonize the local law enforcement.
Mulder: Who me? I'm Mr. Congeniality.
Scully: You never know, we might need his help one of these days.
Mulder: I'll send him a bundt cake.

The Jersey Devil

Scully: Working hard, Agent Mulder? (sees Mulder reading a skin magazine)
Mulder: This woman claims to have been taken aboard a spaceship and held in an anti-gravity chamber without food and water for three days.
Scully: Anti-gravity is right.

Mulder: Ya feeling lucky Scully?

CBS&E: Conversation between Scully and Ellen [see Scenes.]

Scully: What's that in the background?
Mulder: That's someone getting sick.
Scully: Mulder, where are you? The drunk tank?

Scully: Well it's not hard to see why they mistook you for a vagrant.
Mulder: Are you going to rag on me or take me to get something to eat?
Scully: Am I paying, or did you manage to panhandle some change while you were at it?

Scully: I have a date.
Mulder: Can you cancel?
Scully: Unlike you, Mulder, I would like to have a life.
Mulder: I have a life!

Mulder: How much time will that dart give us?
Ranger: It’ll put down a 500 pound bear for an hour... If I can hit it.

Mulder: What if it is a female, Scully? How close is she to you or me? Does she feel emotion or are her days just spent looking for food?
Scully: Maybe she spends her days shopping.

Shadows

MIB: If any inquiry is made about this meeting, we request full denial.
Mulder: I'd say you people already suffer from full denial.

Scully: You lied to them. I can tell.
Mulder: I would never lie. I willingfully participate in a campaign of misinformation.

Scully: Psychokineses? Like how Carrie got even at the prom?
Mulder: How are you?
Scully: I'm fine, but I have a standing in the line at the DMV size headache.
Mulder: Mine's more IRS size.

Mulder: Either that or a poltergeist.
Scully: They're here... (imitation of the little girl from the movie, "Poltergeist")

Scully: Wait, you think I’m right?

Scully: How did you know?
Dr. Bledsoe: It said so on the toe tag.

Mulder: Do you know how hard it is to fake your own death? Only one person has pulled it off...Elvis!

Ghost in the Machine

Scully: So why did you two go your separate ways?
Mulder: I'm a pain in the ass to work with.
Scully: No, seriously.
Mulder: You mean I'm not a pain in the ass to work with?

Scully: Must be for the visually impaired.
Mulder: How do you like that? A politically correct elevator.

Mulder: That just seems too obvious. To kill Drake would be so brazenly egomaniacal.
Scully: And fully consistent with Jerry’s excellent behavioral profile. (Which was actually Mulder’s profile!)
Mulder: Fully.

Mulder: Open Sesame.

Ice

Mulder: Obviously, they either think we're brilliant or expendable, because we pulled the assignment.

Mulder: Bring your mittens.

Mulder: San Diego? Do you get much of a chance to study ice down there?
Denny: Just what's around the keg.

Mulder: (When asked for a stool sample) Anyone got the sports section handy?

Mulder: But the weather forecast said we have a three day window for traveling.
Radio operator: Welcome to the top of the world, sir.

Mulder: (As he starts to undress) Before anyone passes judgment, let me remind you that we are in the arctic.

Scene in the storeroom, Ice [see Scenes]

Space

Mulder: ...to deny us evidence
Scully: Evidence of what?
Mulder: Alien civilization.
Scully: Oh, of course.

Scully: Didn’t you want to ask him for his autograph?

Mulder: Didn't you ever want to be an astronaut when you were growing up?
Scully: I must have missed that phase.

Scully: It ranks right up there with getting a pony and learning to braid my own hair.

Fallen Angel

Scully: That story happens to be highly classified.
Mulder: A highly classified lie.

Mulder: The last detail starring Dana Scully.

Mulder: (His hotel room has been trashed) Looks like housekeeping hasn't been here yet.

Mulder: Enigmatic Dr Scully.

Military radar operator: Um, sir. We have an Unidentified Flying Object on the screen.
Military commander: A Meteor soldier.
Military radar operator: Well, sir. *The Meteor* seems to be hovering over a small town in eastern Wisconsin.

Mulder: You hear that noise Scully? Hammer and nails. They're building a gallows in the town square.

Mulder: Then what can I say? How can I disprove lies that are stamped with an official seal? You can deny all the things I've seen, all the things I've discovered, but not for much longer because too many others know what's happening out there. And no one, no government agency, has jurisdiction over the truth.

Eve

Scully: 75% blood loss. That's over four litres of blood.
Mulder: Could say he was running on empty.

Scully:Mulder, why would alien beings travel light years through space in order to play doctor on cattle?

Mulder: And one of these girls was just abducted.
Scully: Kidnaped.
Mulder: Pa-tay-toe, puh-tah-toe.

Scully: Mulder, you're rushing me out of the room.
Mulder: No, I'm not.
Scully: Do you have a girl coming over?
Mulder: What's a girl? I got a movie I want to watch on TV.

Fire

Scully: Oh, I forgot what it was like to spend a day in court.
Mulder: That's one of the luxuries of hunting down aliens and genetic mutants. You rarely get to press charges.

Mulder: Ten to one you can't dance to it.

Mulder: I was merely extending her a professional courtesy.
Scully: Oh, is that what you were extending?

Beyond the Sea

Scully: Last time you were that engrossed it turned out you were reading the Adult Video News.

Scully: Mulder, do I detect a hint of skepticism?

Scully: Did Boggs confess?
Mulder: No, no. It was five hours of Boggs' channeling. After three hours I asked him to summon up the soul of Jimi Hendrix and requested All Along the Watchtower. You know, the guy's been dead twenty years, but he still hasn't lost his edge.

GenderBender

Mulder: Hold on to your hat, Scully, 'cause you're gonna love this!

Scully: So, what is our profile of the killer? "Indeterminate height, weight, sex, unarmed, but extremely attractive"?

Mulder: Now, this... that's... west.
Scully: What does the map say?
Mulder: That we should be there already. (Mulder wads up and drop kicks map)

Mulder: The Addams Family finds religion.

Mulder: How you feeling?
Scully: Better. A little embarrassed, actually.
Mulder: Why? You don't remember any of it.

Mulder: I know what I saw, Scully. And I saw you about to do the wild thing with some stranger.

Lazarus

Mulder: Can you at least accept the idea that during Willis's near-death experience some sort of psychic trauma occurred?
Scully: Can't you accept that this isn't an X-File?

Young at Heart

Mulder: Reggie thought I was full of it, I was full of it.

Henderson: 10 minutes may be enough time for you, Mulder. Of course, I wouldn't know that from personal experience.

Mulder: Thanks, Henderson. I owe you one.
Henderson: Promises, promises...
Mulder: I know what I'm not gonna do. I'm not gonna wait around for John Barnett to send me another Valentine.
Scully: You mean the ghost of John Barnett?
Mulder: I didn't know you believed in ghosts Scully.

Mulder: You were able to grow John Barnett a new hand?
Dr. Riddley: Not exactly. Not a human hand anyway. I could never get the cells to divide and behave properly.
Scully: I'm afraid to ask. What kind of hand did you grow?

Mulder: How you feeling?
Scully: First time I've ever played the target.
Mulder: Let's make sure it's not the last.

Scully: Mulder, I know what you did wasn't by the book.
Mulder: Tells you a lot about the book, doesn't it?

E.B.E.

Scully: Those lights the driver saw may have been swamp gas.
Mulder: Swamp gas?
Scully: It's a natural phenomenon in which phosphorous and methane rising from decaying organic matter ignite, creating globes of blue flame.
Mulder: Happens to me when I eat Dodger Dogs.

Byers: Vladimir Zhirinovsky, the leader of the Russian Social Democrats, is being put into power by one of the most heinous and evil forces of the twentieth century.
Mulder: Barney?

Byers: That's why we like you Mulder, your ideas are even weirder than ours.
Scully: Hmmm...

Scully: I don't how you can believe that what they say is even remotely plausible.
Mulder: I think it's remotely plausible that someone might think that you're hot.

Scully: How do you know that? We work for the Federal Bureau of Investigation and we’re being bugged. What does that tell you?
Mulder: That tells me that not everything is as it appears to be.
Scully: Exactly. And for all we know, this deep background is the one responsible for the bug.
Mulder: He’s never lied to me. I won’t break that confidence. I trust him.
Scully: Mulder, you’re the only one I trust.
Mulder: Then you’re gonna have to trust me.

Mulder: Why don’t you just admit it, Scully? You’re determined not to believe him.
Scully: Well, maybe you’re too determined to believe him.
Mulder: I am determined to follow a lead that may result in proof of the existence of extraterrestrial biological entities. I need to go. (He starts off.)
Scully: Mulder, listen to me.
Mulder: No.
Scully: Please, will you just hear me? (She stands. He stops and turns around.) I have never met anyone so passionate and dedicated to a belief as you. It’s so intense that sometimes it’s blinding. But there are others who are watching you, who know what I know and whereas I can respect and admire your passion, they will use it against you. Mulder, the truth is out there but so are lies.

Deep Throat: And a lie, Mr. Mulder, is most convincingly hidden between two truths.

Mulder: I tied up an air phone for three hours. I don't speak Japanese, but I think some businessman told me to stick a piece of sushi where the sun don't shine.

Miracle Man

Mulder: The boy's been performing miracles for the past ten years. Twice on Sundays.

Mulder: I think I saw some of these people at Woodstock.
Scully: Mulder, you weren't at Woodstock.
Mulder: I saw the movie.

Mulder: (Scully suggests they go backstage) Wait, this is the part where they bring out Elvis.

Samuel: God has given me a special gift.
Scully: Did He buy you all of that jewelry too?

Scully: (Looks at Mulder) So what's next? Slaying of the first born? (smirks)

Scully: Mulder, What is it ?
Mulder: A girl.
Scully: Who, Jessica Hahn?

Scully: (As the collection plate comes by) Apparently miracles don't come cheap.

Mulder: Do you think the boy really did it?
Scully: No.
Mulder: Why not?
Scully: I was raised a Catholic and I have a certain familiarity with the scripture, and God never lets the devil steal the show.

Scully: A healer's greatest magic lies in the patient's willingness to believe; Imagine a miracle, and you're halfway there.

Shapes

Mulder: They say my deodorant's made for a woman, but it's strong enough for a man.

Darkness Falls

Scully: Right, what am I looking for?
Mulder: Anything unusual, unlikely, unexplainable...boyfriend?

Scully: And you suspect what - Big Foot?
Mulder: Not likely, that's a lot of flannel to be choking down even for Big Foot.

Scully: What kind of insect could have gotten a man all the way up in a tree?
Mulder: Itsy bitsy spider...

Tooms

Skinner: You wouldn't be lying to me now, would you Agent Scully?
Scully: Sir, I expect you to place the same amount of trust in me as I do in you.

Scully: Conventional investigation of these cases may decrease the rate of success.

Mulder:...And where were you? Your testimony was important.
Scully: I was called into a meeting by Assistant Director Skinner.
Mulder: What did he want?
Scully: Just wanted to reel me in.

Scully: Mulder, that's going to entail unorthodox methods of investigation.
Mulder: Look, Scully, if you're resistant because you don't believe, I'll respect that. But if you're resistant because of some bureaucratic pressure, they've not only reeled you in. They've already skinned you.

Mulder: Excuse me, could you help me find my dog? He’s a Norwegian Elkhound. His name is Heinrich. I use him to hunt moose.

Scully: Can you determine the cause of death? My instinct says that burial in cement is murder.

CITC: Conversation in the Car, Tooms [see Scenes]

Born Again

Det. Lazard: Excuse me. Could I talk to you for a second?
Scully: I just started the autopsy.
Det. Lazard: Yeah. Um, I don't think he's going anywhere.

Scully: Where is he now? Has he been transferred?
Det. Lazard: You could say that. Agent Scully, this guy's been dead for nine years. Which means that little girl saw ... a ghost.

Roland

Mulder: How was the wedding?
Scully: You mean the part where the groom passed out or the dog bit the drummer?
Mulder: Did you catch the bouquet?
Scully: Maybe.

Mulder: (Looking at a whole lot of frozen head pieces scattered on the floor.) I don't think they'll be performing this experiment on Beakman's World.

Mulder: Hmmm...an egghead classic.

The Erlenmeyer Flask

Mulder: You think he does it because he gets off on it?
Scully: No, I think he does it because you do.

Deep Throat: Calling it a night, Mr Mulder?
Mulder: My mother usually likes me home before the street lights come on.

Mulder: (Looking at Dr Berube's trashed lab.) I would have never pegged him as someone to do all this...or a Greg Louganis out the window.

Scully: Okay, Mulder, but I'm warning you--If this is monkey pee, you're on your own.

Scully: Wait a second... Mulder? I, I just want to say that I was wrong.
Mulder: It's all right, don't worry about it.
Scully: No, um... if you'd had listened to me, we wouldn't be here right now. I should know by now to trust your instincts.
Mulder: Why? Nobody else does.
Scully: You know, I've always held science as sacred. I've, I've always put my trust in the accepted facts. And what I saw last night... for the first time in my life, I don't know what to believe.
Mulder: Well, whatever it is you do believe, Scully... when you walk into that room. Nothing sacred will hold.

Scene in Ft. Marlene, The Erlenmeyer Flask [see Scenes]