QUOTES / I S M S
The following are my favorite quotes from the X-Files. The larger scenes can be found in the Scene's section of my web site. Don't read any of these if you don't want to be spoiled. Click on the X to hear the quote.
The Sixth Extinction
Scully: (voiceover) I came in search of something I did not believe existed. I've stayed on now, in spite of myself. In spite of
everything I've ever held to be true. I will continue here as long as I can... as long as you are beset by the haunting illness which I saw
consume your beautiful mind. What is this discovery I've made? How can I reconcile what I see with what I know? I feel this was meant not for me to find but for you ... to make sense of -- make
the connections which can't be ignored... connections which, for me, deny all logic and reason. What is this source of power I hold in my hand -- this rubbing -- a simple impression taken from the surface of
the craft? I watched this rubbing take its undeniable hold on you, saw you succumb to its spiraling effect. Now I must work to uncover what your illness
prevents you from finding. In the source of every illness lies its cure.
Scully: (voiceover) I feel you slipping away from me with every
minute I fail here. What are the elusive meanings I cannot see that
are hidden here? If I could understand it, know how it affected you,
learn how to use its power to save you.
Scully: (calm and deliberate) He's not dying. He is more alive
than he has ever been. He's more alive than his body can withstand
and what's causing it may be extraterrestrial in origin.
Skinner: I know. But there's nothing to be done about it. They're going to deny you access.
Scully: Maybe as his partner... but not as his doctor.
The Hospital Scene, Sixth Extinction [See
Scenes]
The Sixth Exinction II: Amor Fati
Mulder: I'm dying, you idiot. If I could get up, I'd kick your ass.
C.S.M. : (not impressed) Don't be so dramatic.
Only part of you is dying. The part that played the hero. You've suffered
enough - for the X-Files, for your partner, for the world. You're not Christ.
You're not Prince Hamlet. You're not even Ralph Nader. You can walk out
of this hospital and the world will forget you. Arise.
Kritschgau: Getting in is easy. It's what you do once
you're inside that's key.
Mulder: (to Deep Throat)You're dead.
Deep Throat: (laughs heartily) No. No, just really relaxed.
Mulder: (not sure about the situation) There's nothing wrong.
Perfect. It's all perfect. What the hell am I doing here?
Fowley: (smiling) You just need some coffee.
Scully: Bum a cigarette, Agent Fowley?
Fowley: I don't smoke.
Scully: Really? I could swear I smell cigarette smoke on you.
Fowley: Let's cut the crap, shall we?
Scully: Yes. Let's.
Fowley: Maybe before you go around blaming everyone you
can find for what's happened to Mulder you could think about what you
could've done to prevent it.
Scully: I just want you to think. Think of Mulder when you met him.
Think of the promise and the life in front of him. Think of him now.
And then try and stand there in front of me, look me in the eye and tell me
Mulder wouldn't bust his ass trying to save you.
Hosteen: You're running out of time.
Scully: Why do you come to me like this? Why? When I can't find him.
Hosteen: You don't look in the right place.
Scully: I don't think you're hearing me.
Hosteen: You don't know where he is?
Scully: Even if I did I wouldn't know how to save him.
This science makes no sense to me.
Hosteen: Have you looked for him here? (He points to her chest, right above her heart.)
Scully: Are you asking me to pray? (He gently pulls her down into a kneeling position beside him.)
Hosteen: There are more worlds than the one you can hold
in your hand.
Scully: No aliens. Have you looked outside, Mulder?
The Hallway Scene, Sixth Extinction II: Amor Fati [See
Scenes]
Hungry
Rob: Welcome to Lucky Boy. May I take your order?
Mulder: Yeah, we'll have it our way.
Mr. Rice: Yeah, "free fer" Fridays-- it's our promotion where you buy one
superpatty and get one free. But look-- there's four lucky boys in Costa
Mesa alone and something like 30 in Orange County.
Scully: Thirty-two.
Mulder: Long day. So let's make this quick. Does everybody have their
button?
Mulder: Hey, Scully, check it out. You know how they say you never want
to see the kitchen of any of your favorite restaurants?
Scully: Somehow, I don't think Lucky Boy would make that list.
Mulder: I-it's not sociologically unheard of. There are certain tribes in
New Guinea that consider human brains a delicacy.
Scully: Yeah, but Mulder, we're in Orange County.
Mulder: Yeah, what's your point?
Mulder: Well, bravo. You know, they say single guys are just bears who own
furniture, (smiles) but... I mean, my place... Oh, but here... smell the
Pine-Sol.
Rob: I'm sorry, but this is like good cop, insane cop.
Millennium
Scully: Mulder, have you been spreading rumors?
Mulder: Why? You hear any good ones lately?
Scully: Not particularly.
Mulder: Well, got one pile of dirt. I'm guessing one man with a shovel.
Other than that last night's rain hasn't left us much to go on. Well, go
ahead, Scully, naysay me. The body of an FBI agent gets disinterred only to
climb out on its own and disappear into the Yuletide night.
Scully: (slight smile) See, you had me up until there.
Mulder: He may also desire to wear the clothes of the dead man to create a
bond between them. You would not want to be this man's dry cleaner.
Scully: Single-minded.
Mulder: Yeah.
Scully: Sounds like someone I know.
Scully: Mulder, you're telling me it's more important to track down four
dead bodies than one live murderer.
Scully: Mulder, those people, even when they were alive mangled biblical
prophecy to the extent that it's unrecognizable. The year 2000 is just their
artificial deadline and besides, 2001 is actually the start of the new
millennium.
Mulder: (slight smile) Nobody likes a math geek, Scully.
First Kiss, Millennium [See
Scenes]
Rush
Scully: Mulder, tell me you've got more than SAT scores to show that this Tony Reed didn't commit this crime.
Scully: The damage to the Maxillofacial bones and the cranium is consistent with a blunt-force trauma, but... I'd say that, uh, Tony eats his Wheaties
Mulder: Come on, you were cruising, right? I mean, a small town like this you're not exactly living La
Vida Loca. I know-- I grew up in Dullsville, too, you know. Nothing to do but drive and park.
Tony: How long ago was that?
Mulder: Okay, but bear with us 'cause we're old and stupid.
Scully: (innocently, almost coy) Mulder. Rather than spirits... can we at least start with Tony's friends? (looks like she is playing with his tie) Please? Just... for me? I think there's one person in particular I'd like to talk to.
Mulder: Buckle up, Scully. I believe Chuck is about to take us on a ride into the paranormal.
Chuck: I cross-referenced the shape's silhouette against every organic and inorganic object in the Library of Congress database. The closest match was a Soviet Aula-class submarine.
Scully: I think we can rule that out.
Mulder: I'll show you my theory if you show me yours.
The Goldberg Variation
Scully: So, basically, what if we were looking for Wile E. Coyote? You're saying that he is invulnerable, right?
Scully: (re: Weems not having his glass eye) Maybe he can't see his way to the door.
Mulder: Come on, Scully. I'm feeling lucky.
Mulder: (After falling through the floor) Yeah, it's all right. My ass broke the fall.
Weems: Next time, leave the plumbing to a professional.
Mulder: Oh, uh... Oh, uh... You want to try this on for size, Cinderella? (Mulder holds out the fake eye wrapped in the wet towel.)
Scully: Mr. Weems, why were you hiding in a vacant apartment?
Weems: Not hiding-- avoiding.
Scully: So, here's the plan, as I see it: we inform the Chicago field
office about Weems, leaving it to them to secure his testimony, you change
your clothes ... we fly back to D.C. by sunset and all is right with the world.
Scully: I like baseball, too.
Scully: Mulder, you're putting an astounding amount of faith in
coincidence and luck. Essentially, you're betting a man's life on it. And
even if you believe in so-called lucky streaks you have to know they all
eventually end. (She flips over the Ace of hearts.) Luckiest man in the world? Hell, Mulder, I just beat him.
Orison
Marshall: (to Mulder and Scully) You two put this man away.
Mulder: Yeah. Someone forgot to throw away the key.
Scully: I promise you there is nothing supernatural about this man. Donnie Pfaster is just plain evil.
Mulder: A programmed behavior prompted and manifested by suggestion in this case, a rhythmic motion of the hands producing a unconscious act in a conscious state. (Mulder raises and lowers his hand in front of Scully.) Doesn't work on you.
Scully:If you're suggesting that Donnie Pfaster escaped from prison using a technique from a Vegas lounge act I'd think again.
Mulder: When God spoke to you, Reverend, did he happen to mention where Donnie was headed?
Mulder: God is a spectator, Scully. He just reads the box scores.
Scully: No, but I believe that the Reverend believes what he's saying-- that's it's God working through him.
Mulder: Well, plenty of nut bags do. Has he ever spoken to you?
Scully: (wounded) I'm trying not to take offense.
Scully: Well, nobody can stop the world, Mulder. I don't care how many
holes they have drilled into their head.
Donnie: Love your hair.
Mulder: It's funny when all is said and done, there's... Not much mystery in murder.
Donnie: (To Scully) I'm going to run you a bath.
Scully: He was evil, Mulder. I'm sure about that, without a doubt. But there's one thing that I'm not sure of.
Mulder: What's that?
Scully: Who was at work in me. Or what... what made me... what made me pull the trigger.
Mulder: You mean if it was God?
Scully: I mean... what if it wasn't?
The Amazing Maleeni
Maleeni: (patient) Young man, shall I come heckle you on your job? Make sure you count out the requisite number of McNuggets?
Mulder: Neat trick, huh?
Scully: I can think of a neater one. How you convinced me to drop everything and get on the first plane to Los Angeles.
Scully: Ah, but observe. His discarded soda cup. The hand may be quicker than the eye but it still
leaves fingerprints.
Mulder: Provided they haven't dumped the trash.
Scully: Skeptic.
Mulder: You attended a magic show. The Amazing Maleeni.
La Bonge: Yeah, he sucks. Why?
Scully: He's dead, under extremely suspicious circumstances.
La Bonge: He still sucks.
La Bonge: Mozart and Salieri. They sound pretty much the same to a
layman. But they ain't. You know what I'm saying? It's about... originality. Style. And more than
anything else... soul.
Scully: All right, I'm stumped... and I think I'm supposed to be.
Scully: ... as far as I can tell this body has been dead for over a month. I see signs of refrigeration.
Mulder: And yet he performed yesterday. What a trouper.
Scully: (Re: Maleeni in a wheelchair) He might try and run.
La Bonge: What's in it for me? I mean, let's say I help you out. What do I get in return?
Scully: The feeling of pride that comes from performing your civic duty.
Mulder: How about the chance to root through the professional secrets of your least favorite magician?
La Bonge: I'd say the twin brother did it but I don't think he's any better a magician than Maleeni was...
Mulder: There's that, and he's got no legs.
Scully: And what's the point?
Mulder: It's misdirection. That's the heart of magic. I made you look one direction. The quarter went in the other.
Scully: And that's what's happening in this case?
Mulder: I think we're being led around by our noses.
Scully: Well, why did you lose? You could have manipulated the cards, right?
Maleeni:Cheat? You're asking why I don't cheat at cards?
Scully: Well, you could, right?
Maleeni:Of course I could... (he flips four aces up on the table) but how would I live with myself? Who raised you?
Signs & Wonders
Scully: Snake handling. I didn't learn that in catechism class.
Mulder: That's funny. I knew a couple of Catholic schoolgirls who were expert at it.
Mulder: Enoch O'Connor? Federal Agents. (to Scully) Where's the light switch?
Scully: The nearest one? Probably ten miles from here. Rattlesnakes and medieval visions of damnation. Well, I for one, feel a whole lot closer to God.
Mulder: I don't know, Scully. When you... when you get right down to it is snake handling any harder to buy into than communion wafers or transubstantiation...?
Scully: Or believing in flying saucers, for that matter.
O'Connor: Your FBI partner could've learned something about herself if you hadn't
stopped me. Some powerful good news, maybe.
Mulder: I'd say it's good news for you that she's not here right now, considering what you tried to do to her.
Mulder: Not like O'Connor. If this was some kind of test looks like I failed.
Scully: I'd say if it was, you passed with flying colors. You're alive, aren't you?
Mulder: (smiling at her) Proud and fancy-free.
Sein Und Zeit
Scully: Is it the media or just our own morbid fascination with the killing of an innocent?
Scully: There are a lot of good agents up there in Skinner's office who do not have
the patience for this.
Mulder: What did I do? I provided a logical counterpoint.
Scully: You told them that they were wrong, Mulder.
Mulder: And they are.
Scully: Sir?
Skinner: (very irritated) What? What is it, Agent Scully?
Scully: I need to have a word with Agent Mulder.
Skinner: It can wait.
Scully: No, it can't, sir.
Mulder: What is it, Scully?
Scully: (softly) Mulder, your mom's dead.
Scully's Findings, Sein und Zeit [See
Scenes]
Mulder: What is it?
Skinner: This case has heated up. I've booked two flights for us.
Scully: Well, then you better book three.
Closure
Older Agent: Word of advice, me to you: Let it be. You know, there's some
wounds that are just too painful ever to be reopened.
Scully: Well, this particular wound has never healed. And Mulder deserves closure,
just like anyone.
C.S.M.: I like to make myself useful.
Scully: (calmly) You can start by putting out that cigarette.
C.S.M.: Got it all figured out, don't you, Agent Scully?
Scully: All but why you can't just come to the door and knock.
C.S.M.: I did that. No one answered.
Scully: Mulder, why would he lie now? I mean, think about it. It hurts me to tell
you this.
Mulder: (loudly) The handprints prove he's a liar! I saw her handprints in the
cement. Her name, Samantha, right underneath them. How more obvious can it be?
Harold Piller led me there. He led me right to them.
Scully: Oh, he led you, Mulder. He led you from the moment that he met you.
Piller: I'm going to try and summon their presence into the house.
Scully: (sarcastically) Oh, yay. A séance. I haven't done that since high school.
Mulder: (to Scully, taking her hand) Maybe afterwards we can play postman
and spin the bottle.
The Diner, Closure [See
Scenes]
Scully: Mulder, what happened? Are you sure you're all right?
Mulder: I'm fine. (He looks up at the starry sky, and sighs.) I'm free.
X-Cops
Mulder: I'm sorry, but you're going to have to be isolated and kept under guard.
Srgt Duthie: With all due respect what the *bleep* are you talking about?
Mulder: I'm talking about preventing this man from becoming a danger to himself
and to others.
Srgt Duthie: Can I see your badge again?
Mulder: I don't think it's live television, Scully. She just said *bleep*.
Dpty Molina: (looks at Freddie Kruger pic) Claw monster. Boy, you know, they kill him in every
movie and he just keeps coming back. (chuckles and heads for the door.) I'm sorry.
Mulder: (grinning) So, what did Skinner say?
Scully: He said that the FBI has nothing to hide... and neither do we.
Scully: (to Camera crew) No. You go with someone else.
Mulder: So, apparently, we're on the lookout for someone whose hair matches her
fingernails-- bubblegum pink. (smiles and glances over at Scully) That'd be a good
color for you, Scully.
Weitzel: And what about your partner? Does she believe me? (There is a pause.)
Mulder: I don't think she thinks you're lying.
Weitzel: It's a hard enough job already, you know? You want to help people but it's
like the freaking Wild West out here. You know people hate you? Every shift, I go out
thinking... (he waves for some pedestrians to cross in front of the car) Go ahead. ...I go
out thinking, "You know, there's somebody out there who wants to take me out. Am I
going to run into him tonight?" And it's hard to have a fast-track career in law
enforcement when everybody think you're nuts.
Mulder: Tell me about it.
Coroner's Asst.: Well, we got murder victims stacked three-deep in the freezer. Plus you got this camera crew reporting everything. Why? (Long pause as Scully looks up at the camera. She smiles "pleasantly," : read "painfully" - the picture perfect agent..)
Scully: (to the camera) Because the FBI has nothing to hide.
Scully: (The door slams shut. They look around nervously.)
Wind?
Mulder: If you say so.
Scully: (finding the camera crew in the closet) Damn it. I hate you guys.
Scully:(voice) It's going to be a hard one to write up.
First Person Shooter
Scully: (a rhetorical question) Video games.
Mulder: (defensively) Digital entertainment.
Scully: I can get in the Pentagon easier than this.
Langly: Dudes! Agent Mulder, what's up, wild man? Welcome to the land where
silicon meets silicone.
Frohike: Game ships on Friday. 50 malls across the United States and Japan.
Scully: Only there's a dead body between you and untold riches.
Scully: This man's been shot.
Ivan: (very upset, rationalizing) No! See, when somebody is shot, there's a gun
involved, right? That is absolutely impossible because there's no way anybody could
ever get a gun past security.
Scully: (She holds up the huge laser rifle.) What do you call this?
Scully: Mulder, why does this game have the effect of reducing grown men back to moony adolescence?
Mulder: (whispering, speechless as he heads for the stairs) That's Daryl Musashi!
Scully: (into tape recorder) Preliminary external examination of deceased, a
twenty-ish male, name listed only as "Retro," offers no additional clues as to actual cause
of death. (She turns his arm. Autopsy wrist tag lists name as "Retro" #443-77-779.) Scratch that. Cause of death is from a large entry wound at the sternum, resulting in trauma to the internal organs and blood loss. Wound is consistent with a high-velocity impact from a large projectile which passed through a three-ply
Kevlar jacket. (pause) Scratch that. Wound is result of high-velocity impact from an
unknown object, which even if it did enter the body left no damn trace evidence
whatsoever-- no powder burns, no chemical signatures of any kind of explosive
propellant.
Mulder: You have to admit, though, Scully this is a
pretty amazing piece of technology.
Scully: Yeah, wasted on a stupid game.
Mulder: Stupid?
Scully: Dressing up like high-tech warriors to play a futuristic version of Cowboys and Indians? What kind of moron gets his ya-yas out like that?
Scully:You think that taking up weapons and creating gratuitous virtual mayhem has any redeeming value whatsoever? I mean, that the testosterone frenzy that it creates stops when the game does?
Mulder: That's rather sexist, isn't it? I mean, maybe the game provides an outlet for certain impulses, that it fills a void in our genetic makeup that the more civilizing effects of society failed to provide for.
Scully: Well, that must be why men feel the great need to blast the crap out of stuff.
Jade: For the record again, my name is Jade Blue Afterglow. I
reside...
Scully: (interrupting) I'm sorry. Your real name?
Jade: That is my real name. What were you expecting?
Mildred?
Scully: Would it surprise you to know that you have been placed at a crime scene in the offices of F.P.S.?
Jade: Let's just say it takes a whole lot to surprise me.
Jade: Oh. You must have had me confused with my sister--
Xena, Warrior Princess.
Scully: They paid you to scan your body?
Jade: You think that's the strangest thing I've been paid to do?
Phoebe: (They watchs as Mulder goes after Maitreya) What is he doing?
Scully: (exasperated) He's getting his ya-yas out.
Ivan: We are back in business. Baby... You are dope.
Scully: What?
Ivan: We were toast. I felt the flames licking my ass. Then the bankers saw the
letters on the autopsy: F-B-I. Cause of death: Unknown. (chuckles) You fixed our
problems. The game's going to ship and we're going to be counting Franklins.
Scully: Yeah, and you're going to be counting teeth.
Phoebe: You don't know what it's like-- day in and day out choking in a haze of
rampant testosterone.
Scully: I wouldn't be so sure.
Mulder: I bet you think you're going to kick my butt up and down the block. (Maitreya proceeds to do just that.)
Scully: You okay?
Mulder: Ask me if I'm humiliated.
Theef
Scully: "T-h-e-e-f." I assume it's supposed to be t-h-I-e-f-- "thief."
Mulder: Insert your own Dan Quayle joke here. (Scully gives him a small smile.) Lousy spelling aside, what do you think it refers to? Who's the thief?
Scully: Well, that's certainly one question. I've got many.
Mulder: "Mulder, why are we here?"
Scully: To be fair, I might have used the words "Mulder, how is this an X-File?"
Mulder: You see that, Scully, you always keep me guessing.
Scully: I'll admit, Mulder this is not an open and shut case. But, uh … (whispering back over her shoulder) it doesn't make it an X-File.
Scully: Hexcraft, as in, uh, putting a curse on someone? Murdering them
magically?
Mulder: Yeah, that's what it looks like to me. Now, I know what you're going to
say, Scully.
Scully: No, hexcraft. I mean, I'll buy that as the intent here. It certainly jibes with
the evidence. I say we talk to the family. (She walks to the door, then looks over her shoulder at a stunned Mulder who is still kneeling next to the bed.) I'll always keep you guessing.
Dr. Wieder: So... modern medicine, and all it encompasses-- artificial hearts, laser
surgery gene therapy, to name a few-- all of that arrayed against a pile of magic dirt... and
you tell me I'll lose. (Pause. ) I have M.R.I.S to look at. (He leaves.)
Scully: Oh, yeah, Mulder, win him over.
Mulder: Oh, he will lose unless we can find a way to stop it.
Scully: What do you suggest?
Mulder: A second opinion.
Scully: She's going back to her people after all. You know, Mulder, I would've made the same call... as a doctor... if I was certain that I couldn't save her life and she was in that much pain... I would've done what Wieder did.
Mulder: Mm-hmm. It seems pretty clear-cut.
Scully: Except maybe it's not.
Mulder: You're wondering if maybe Peattie could've saved her life? (Scully looks at him, then leaves the room. Mulder watches her go then says softly to himself ) You do keep me guessing.
En Ami
Mulder: I've just got to know whether it was Roma Downey or Della Reese.
C.S.M. : (thoughtfully) In the end... a man finally looks at
the sum of his life to see what he'll leave behind. Most of what I worked to build is in
ruins and now that the... darkness descends, I... find I have no real legacy.
Landlord : Yeah, she said it was a family matter. Dropped off the key... asked me to
water the plants-- no biggie. Hey, great girl-- independent as they come, you know but a
great girl.
Mulder: Yeah, yeah.
Landlord : Tenants like having an FBI agent in the building. Gives them a sense of security.
Mulder: Do you know how many people have died in there?
Landlord : Oh, we don't really talk about that.
C.S.M. : You're drawn to powerful men but you fear their power. You keep your guard up, a wall around your heart. How else do you explain that
fearless devotion to a man obsessed, and, yet, a life alone? You'd die for Mulder but you
won't allow yourself to love him.
Scully: Wow. I'm learning a whole other side to you. You're not just a cold- blooded killer, you're a pop psychologist as well.
Scully: (on phone) No, sir. That's all right. Can you tell him that I'll call him
later? Just, just tell him that I'm fine. (Hearing a dial tone, Skinner hangs up.)
Skinner: She says she's fine.
Mulder: She's in trouble.
C.S.M. : Lifesaver?
C.S.M. : How do you take your coffee?
Scully: Unadulterated, thank you.
Chimera
Scully: Yeah. Well, I hope you realize there's no evidence whatsoever that this
mystery woman of yours has even committed a crime... Though her wardrobe comes close.
Mulder: You're sure, uh, Martha's last name isn't Stewart?
Scully: (on phone) Mulder, please tell me I can go home.
Mulder: (on phone, cheerfully) Oh, hey, Scully. How's the stakeout?
Scully: (on phone) Well, the furnace broke and I can just about see my breath in
here.
Mulder: (on phone) Ouch. I'm sorry to hear that.
Scully: (on phone) That... and I've witnessed a couple hundred things I'd like to
erase from my brain. Eww. But as of yet, no mystery woman.
Mulder: (on phone) Well, she'll come, you know? It's just a matter of time. She'll
show up-- I'm sure of that.
Scully: (on phone) Yeah, well not before I die of malnutrition.
Mulder: (on phone) Hey, Scully, tough it out. Whatever doesn't kill you makes
you stronger. Right? (At the table, Ellen fills Mulder's plate with assorted side dishes.) (to Ellen) No, no, no, no. No capers, thank you.
Scully: (on phone, confused) I'm sorry. What?
Mulder: (on phone, quickly) I said, "What a... what a crazy caper." I'll talk to you later... and, uh, keep warm. Bye.
Scully: (on phone, miserable) Mulder, when you find me dead, my desiccated
corpse propped up staring lifelessly through the telescope at drunken frat boys peeing and
vomiting into the gutter just know that my last thoughts were of you and how I'd like to
kill you.
Mulder: (on phone) I'm sorry. Who is this?
Scully: (on phone) It's a freak
show, Mulder. It's a nonstop parade of every single lowlife imaginable.
Ellen: Do you have a ... a significant other?
Mulder: Um, not in the widely understood definition of that term.
Mulder: So you were having an affair with both Jenny and Martha Crittendon? I got
to hand it to you, Sheriff. You put the service back into "protect and serve."
Scully: (on phone)Mulder? I am free.
Mulder: (on phone) You're free?
Scully: (on phone) Mm-hmm. I'm going to go home, take a shower for, I don't
know eight or nine hours, burn the clothes that I'm wearing and then... sleep until late
spring.
Scully: (on phone) Exactly. A wolf in sheep's clothing or I guess, in this case, a sheep in wolf's clothing.
all things
Teaser, all things [See
Scenes]
Scully: And Szczesny did indeed drown but not as the result of the
inhalation of ectoplasm as you so vehemently suggested.
Mulder: Well, what else could she possibly have drowned in?
Scully: Margarita mix, upchucked with about 40 ounces of Corcovado Gold
tequila which, as it turns out she and her friends rapidly consumed in the
woods while trying to reenact the Blair Witch Project.
Mulder: ... and I'm not wearing any pants right now.
Scully: Hmm?
Scully: I guess I just don't see the point.
Mulder: (on phone) Speak to me, Scully.
Mulder: (on phone, voice) Don't roll your eyes, Scully.
Scully: (shaking her head) I don't know what I have. I mean... your
x-rays were in the wrong envelope. I never would have even known you were
here if it wasn't for a mix-up. It's just...
Waterson: What do you want, Dana?
Scully: I want everything I should want at this time of my life. Maybe I
want the life I didn't choose.
Colleen:You still aren't sure. You came here looking for answers
and you want something to take back with you. Everything happens for a
reason.
Waterson: Imagine my shock when my doctor told me the voodoo
ritual you'd arranged for last night.
Scully: I was afraid it didn't work.
Waterson: (chuckling) Of course it didn't work. Don't be
absurd. Where do you get this crap?
Scully: Daniel, that "crap" may have just saved your life whether you're
open to it or not.
Scully: Maybe sometimes nothing happens for a reason, Mulder.
Mulder: What is that supposed to mean?
Scully: Nothing. (she smiles) Come on, I'll make you some tea.
Final Scene, all things [See
Scenes]
Brand X
Mulder: (looking at a victim with no mouth) Can't blow the whistle with a mouth like that.
Skinner: We're here to see Dr. Voss.
Security: Do you have an appointment? (Mulder and Skinner both hold out their badges.) Do you have an appointment? (Mulder and Skinner look at each other, then hold out their badges again.)
Skinner: Maybe you missed this the first time around.
Lead Counsel: May I ask where you're going with this, Agent?
Mulder: (sarcastically) I'm sorry, I can't. Answering that question would violate
FBI confidentiality due to the sensitive nature of our investigation.
Skinner: (disbelieving) Killer bugs? This is what I'm supposed to tell the Director?
Mulder: Mr. Weaver, did you see or hear anything unusual last night?
Weaver: Little Korean fellow down the hall. Dresses like Wonder Woman.
But that's every night.
Hollywood AD
Tea / Scully: Is that your flashlight, Mulder, or... you just happy to be
lying on top of me?
Garry / Mulder: I love you, Scully. No ifs, ands or...
Tea / Scully: Bees.
Federman: She: Jodie Foster's foster child on a Payless budget. He's like A... Jehovah's Witness meets Harrison Ford's "Witness."
Mulder: Well, that's actually just a hindrance-slash-pain in the neck.
Federman: (hanging up) Yo, yo, yo. Agent Mulder, I don't want to eat
your lunch. I'm just here for some procedural flavor-- just a taste.
Mulder: I've no idea what you just said.
Mulder: Sir, have I pissed you off in a way that's more than normal?
Cardinal O'Fallon: Not really. Just some old bones, artifacts, relics...
documents that we store down there in the cold. We like to think of it as God's Refrigerator.
Federman: How about the Shroud of Turin?
Cardinal O'Fallon: No, afraid not, but we do have the Bathrobe of St. Peter.
Federman: You're kidding.
Cardinal O'Fallon: Yes, I am.
Scully: Mulder, we should have a warrant.
Federman: (sarcastically) Hey, it's only the Constitution. No big deal. (They enter the apartment. Odd assortment of furniture, art, bomb-making equipment.)
Mulder: Wow.
Federman: Dis-feng shui.
Mulder: All right, one more pun and I pull out my gun.
Federman: I like the way you guys work-- no warrants, no permission, no
research. You're like studio executives with guns.
Federman: No, I didn't hallucinate. That was mechanical or C.G.I.
Mulder: (chuckling) Federman, that wasn't a movie. That was real life.
Federman: The difference being?
Scully: We had this wacky nun in Catholic school-- Sister Callahan-- we used to call her "Sister Spooky" 'cause she would tell us scary stories all the time.
Mulder: Twisted sisters, my kind of nun, you know?
Scully: Well, she would hold up an old piece of wood with a rusty nail in it, and she would say "this is an actual piece of the cross that Christ's wrist was nailed to." Or she'd
show us a vial of red liquid and say that it was John the Baptist's blood, or something.
Mulder: She'd be in prison today. You realize that.
Scully: Well, she would tell this story of when Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead and she said that there was this old woman who was Lazarus's aunt or something...
Mulder: Lazarus's aunt?
Scully: ...who was spinning a clay bowl on a wheel nearby and that Christ's words-- the actual incantation to raise the dead--were recorded in the clay grooves of the pottery
just like the way music is recorded into vinyl.
Mulder: You see? It's just not true that you can't get good science at Catholic school. It's a lie.
Mulder: Why didn't you just destroy the documents yourself?
Cardinal O'Fallon: I thought they were real. I hated them, I despised them. I
would have liked to destroy them, but I couldn't. Is being made a fool of a crime, Agent
Mulder?
Mulder: I'd be doing life if it were, sir.
Skinner: Agent Scully... if I'm carrying Marilyn Monroe's purse do you assume that I slept with J.F.K.?
Scully: That's the language that Christ spoke. (she looks up at Mulder) Did
your linguist happen to translate it?
Chuck: Yes, he did. It's in two parts. The first part here roughly translates as
"I am the walrus. I am the walrus. Paul is dead. Coo-coo-ca-choo." (Scully gives a
look.) Although there is no Aramaic word for "walrus." So it literally says "I am the
bearded cow-like sea beast."
Mulder: I am become skeptical.
Scully: Plan 9 From Outer Space?
Mulder: Yeah. It's the Ed Wood investigative method. This movie is so profoundly bad in such a childlike way that it hypnotizes my conscious critical mind and frees up my
right brain to make associo-poetic leaps and I started flashing on Hoffman and O'Fallon.
How there's this archetypal relationship like Hoffman's Jesus to O'Fallon's Judas or
Hoffman's Jesus to O'Fallon's Dostoyevsky's Grand Inquisitor, or Hoffman's Jesus to
O'Fallon's St. Paul.
Scully:How about Hoffman's Roadrunner to O'Fallon's Wile E. Coyote? Mulder...
Mulder: Yeah?
Scully:Do you think it's at all possible that Hoffman is really Jesus Christ?
Mulder: Are you making fun of me?
Scully:No.
Mulder: Well, no, I don't. But crazy people can be very persuasive.
Scully:Well, yes, I know that. (They both smile.) Maybe true faith is really a form of insanity.
Mulder: Are you directing that at me?
Scully:(emphatically) No. I'm directing it at myself and at Ed Wood.
Tea: Well, you know, while I've got you here maybe, uh, maybe you could
show me how to run in these things. (She indicates the 2 inch heels she is wearing that Scully could easily wear in an
aerobics class.) Right over here, I was thinking 'cause, I tell you, I'm having a hell of a
time with these heels. What, are they government issue or something?
Mulder: (on phone, grinning with delight, he clicks over on the receiver) Hey, Scully, Skinman is calling me from a bubble bath.
Skinner: (on phone) It's still me, Mulder.
Scully: Mulder, I have something to confess.
Mulder: What's that?
Scully:I'm in love with Associate Producer Walter Skinner. (They both laugh,)
Mulder: Ah... Me, too.
Fight Club
Mulder: The interesting thing about these agents is they had worked together for
seven years previously without any incident.
Scully:Seven years?
Mulder: Yeah, but they are not … romantically involved if that's what you're
thinking.
Scully:Not even I would be so farfetched.
Scully: What I'm thinking, Mulder, is how familiar this seems. Playing Watson to
your Sherlock. You dangling clues out in front of me one by one. It's a game, and... and,
as usual, you're, you're holding something back from me. You're not telling me
something about this case.
Mulder: (pouting) Don't go thinking I'm going to start doing the autopsies.
Mulder: You know what I'm thinking?
Scully:That Mr. Zupanic not only knows Betty Templeton and where we can find
her but that he is hip to whatever she's into and that I should look at that house on
Moreton Bay Street while you go and find out from Mr. Zupanic what it is exactly that
he's clearly hiding about Betty Templeton.
Mulder: I'm thinking that Bert Zupanic really truly doesn't know Betty Templeton. (The elevator opens and Scully enters it.)
Scully:Well, I guess that's why they put the "I" in the FBI.
Scully: (very pleasant, very forced smile) Mr. Danfous, I'm Special Agent Dana
Scully with the FBI.
Angry Bob: (screaming) What's so special about you?!
Scully: It's an FBI title, sir.
Je Souhaite
Scully: Well, according to Gilmore he was standing right where I am when it happened.
Mulder: Well, I don't smell any weird chemical smells. You still have both your lips.
Anson: Yeah, okay, that's not bad. That's not bad, that's not bad, but don't
you think maybe we should think of something that would, generate money instead of
the, actually the money itself?
Jenn: Brains? Talent? Hard work?
Mulder: Hey, Scully, come check this out. (She's looking at the 'invisible' body and does not want to leave.) Come on, he's not going anywhere. Come on. (Scully pushes the body tray back into the wall.)
Scully: (happy whisper to the body as she closes the door) Bye.
Scully: I should just shoot myself. I was so happy. I was so excited. What was I thinking? An invisible man?
Leslie: (to his brother) I wasted two wishes on you. And a perfectly good bowl of corn flakes.
Jenn: The only thing you people are cursed with is stupidity. All of you. Everybody. Mankind. Everyone I have ever come into contact with without fail. Always asking for
the wrong thing.
Scully: I can't think of anything we have to hold you on. And, not surprisingly we don't have any evidence of any of this.
Mulder: (when everyone disappears after world peace wish) I guess I should have seen this coming.
Scully: Skinner called me, Mulder. Is everything all right?
Mulder: You don't remember disappearing off the face of the Earth for about an hour this morning?
Scully: No.
Mulder: Well, I guess everything's okay.
Scully: Could you give us a minute, please?
Jenn: Sure.
Scully: Like today?
Mulder: You examined an invisible body, remember?
Scully: I thought I did...
Mulder: (as if in pain) Ohhhhhhh.
Scully: <sigh>
Scully: It sounds wonderful.
Mulder: Then what's the problem?
Scully: Maybe it's the whole point of our lives here, Mulder. To achieve that. And maybe it's a process that one man shouldn't try and circumvent with a single wish.
Mulder: I don't know if you noticed, but I never made the world a happier place.
Scully: Well, I'm fairly happy. That's something.
Requiem
Agent Short: Gas, expenses... the motel rooms alone. By FBI standards these numbers are out of control.
Mulder: (deadpan) We could start sharing rooms.
Scully: So much of the work that we do cannot be measured in standard terms.
Agent Short: How would you measure it?
Scully: We open doors with the X-Files, which lead to other doors.
Agent Short: But you don't believe in aliens?
Scully: I've seen things that I cannot deny.
Mulder: (tempting) More alien abductions, Scully.
Scully: (thoughtfully) I don't know how we could possibly justify the expense.
Mulder: We'd probably turn up nothing.
Scully: Let's go waste some money.
Det. Miles: What was he shooting at?
Mulder: Probably nothing.
Det. Miles: Nothing?
Mulder: (subtle sarcasm) Nothing's all you seem to find out here, Detective.
Spooning, Requiem [See
Scenes]
Skinner: This is starting to feel like the snipe hunt I was afraid of.
Mulder: There's no such thing as a snipe, sir.
Skinner: How's it supposed to work?
Mulder: Not exactly sure, sir. But, uh... (He checks a readout on a handheld device.) budgetarily, I'd say we're looking pretty good.
Hospital Bed, Requiem [See
Scenes]
