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Just a quick, cute incident that happened. I use Instant Messenger on my computer and I saw that The Good Mother's screenname popped on. So I sent her a message, something along the lines of "Hey, what up motherfucker?" or something like that. A really long time passes before finally, a reply.
"shutup"
Hmm, I think to myself. The Good Mother is a helluva lot wittier than that. Then I start thinking about it. Wait a minute. The Good Mother is supposed to be at work. That isn't the Good Mother, it's the Good Mother's six year old daughter! (The girl is addicted to playing Slingo on AOL. Go figure.) So I type another message: "Is this who I think it is?"
A really long time passes before finally, a reply.
"byby"
Then the Good Mother's screenname logs off.
Mental note: next time I talk to the Good Mother, gently encourage her to password protect her Internet log-in thingie. But then again, we have comforting living proof that at least the Coolest Kid On The Planet doesn't talk to strangers online.
Tuesday, September 5, 2000, 5:56am
So I'm walking in Ala Moana Shopping Center just past HIC and this kid walks up to me.
"How old are you?"
"Why?" I ask.
"Can you buy me cigarettes?"
And I get a flashback to a time when I'm a freshmen in high school. So out of karma, I went into the crack seed store and purchased a minor two packs of Kool Super Longs.
Frankly I thought the kid looked older than me. Nonetheless, I felt liver spots bursting on the backs of my hands. Have I really grown that old? Then I thought to myself, well he did ask my age. That means he wasn't sure if I was old enough to buy smokes. Right? Right? So I felt better knowing that he may have thought I just made 18.
Who the fuck am I kidding?
Thursday, October 12, 2000, 3:53am
Holy shit it's been a long time. I'd like to say I've been doing all sorts of... I give up. I just offer this as an excuse: I noticed I have waaaay less free time when I'm unemployed. Go fucking figure.
I have a couple stories I wanna relate since the past couple months. I mean lots of shit happened but these two are my current favorites.
First we went to Brew Moon and The Good Mother proceeded to get shit-faced drunk. Poor Dental Chick was under the impression that we were going to Border's for browsing and pumpkin spice coffee after dinner; The Good Mother decided we should go drinking instead. My choice of casual Ryan's was deleted in favor of Brew Moon. I figured no problem, except unbeknownst to me and Dental Chick, Brew Moon turns into a nightclub after 10 pm and poor Dental Chick gets paranoid and panic attack prone in club enivironments. And they don't serve sake martinis damnit. Anyway, once we're there, The Good Mother proceeds to get on her cell phone and invite another male to join us. A hairdresser. Fine, I'm thinking. Hairdresser, he's probably gay, nothing to worry about, The Good Mother's husband won't get pissed off at us. Turns out in his spare time, the hairdresser does that ultimate fighting shit. And by The Good Mother's body language towards said hairdresser/ultimate fighter, it's basically the equivalent of the female monkey showing its ass to the male monkey. Soft whispered aside to Dental Chick: "I don't think he's gay. This is gonna get ugly."
The Good Mother managed to keep it to heavy flirting, but then there was the matter of exiting the premises. Do you remember what it's like trying to get a totally drunk chick to leave a nightclub when she's nowhere near ready to leave yet? It ain't fucking pretty.
This all happened weeks ago and there's still repercussions. Like I told Dental Chick: I felt really fucking lousy about this past birthday (which is probably why I didn't feel like doing much journal writing), but then watching The Good Mother, married with children, making a complete ass of herself at Brew Moon, practically throwing herself at the hairdresser/ultimate fighter, I suddenly decided that I was aging waay more gracefully.
In a side note, something happened tonight that made me feel much better about my age. I was smoking a cigarette outside of Kensei and this Accord-load of girls pulled up to the red light and they smiled at me. Then when the light turned green, the girl in the passenger seat said "Bye!" so I was polite and waved. I got back to the table beaming and told everyone, "See? Not bad for an old man huh?" Jar Jar goes, "They probably couldn't see what you looked like from far away."
That just deflated everything.
Second thing I wanted to record: I went to the gym with Flipazoid, Dental Chick, and Mumbles. When we were through, since we were going out to eat after, I drank my creatine sitting on a stoop outside with them. I took a glutamine pill and Flipazoid grabbed the bottle and goes, really loudly, "Is this to make your penis bigger?" And of course, right when he says it, a girl is walking by and she busts out laughing, spitting out a mouthful of her beverage. Dental Chick starts pointing, going, "She heard you, she heard you!" and the girl is just walking, turning and looking at us and laughing. And I'm standing there yelling, "I'm perfectly happy the way I am damnit!" to a complete stranger.
The older I get, the more my life is resembling Must See TV.
As is usual with my bi-monthly journal entries, once again I'm pleading to the Internet community for help. I got this game for the Dreamcast called Seaman and I got to this point where I need the Seaman to help me move the rock in the tank but I can't seem to get him to do it. If anyone out there knows how to get him to help me move that damn rock to transform the tank, please lemme know.
When everyone's in the bus and Elton John's "Tiny Dancer" comes on in Almost Famous, only an asshole wouldn't be moved.
