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I'm in a chatroom with Nina. Interesting. Actually not. I guess if I was interested, I wouldn't be writing this now would I?
I'm actually in a bummer of a mood these days. Maybe it's pre-vacation mood thing. I mean, all this preparation shit's really beginning to get to me. Add on the fact that okay, I admit it, I'm slightly hesistant when it comes to air travel.
Danny Gans is a no-go. Oh wells. There's always one thing I don't get to do in Vegas. Last time it was the New York New York roller coaster. This time it'll be Danny Gans. Besides, he's only an impressionist, right? Do I sound like I convinced myself? On the other hand, I am going to see some cool stuff. Snagged tickets for O, don't ask how the fuck I'm paying for that, as well as tickets for the Goo Goo Dolls. I'm really kinda stoked to see a mainland concert (with sweaty white people around me!) and I really kinda like the Goo Goo Dolls, it's just that I might barf a banana when the City Of Angels song comes on. If I hear it one more time I'm gonna... Sugar Ray is supposed to appear too. Whatever that means. Plus it's gonna be at Mandalay Bay and I heard that hotel kicks almost as much ass as the Bellagio.
Okay, I guess I am kinda excited, but I still got SO much shit to finish.
Farkity fark.
Oh, neat thing. Someone actually emailed me outta the blue with the song title and artist for my recent modern rock mystification. Hey Leonardo by The Blessed Union Of Souls. The said person even sent me the lyrics. Thank you, thank you. You've restored my faith in the Internet and human kindness (especially after reading the fucking Spunker BBS). Your banana is on its way!
I'm in a funk. Blah blah blah.
I had a dream that The Good Mother's baby was trapped under the bed and I refused to help her. Is that a sign of psychosis?
I think I need a vacation already.
Anakin Skywalker is such a tiny action figure. You think he'd be a little cheaper than the others...
Doldrum.
Malaise.
Okay, there's a word I'm happy with. Malaise.
I think I need to work on my wardrobe in Vegas. I need to wear more mature clothes already. I was wearing my Batman t-shirt today and at work it was kinda fun cause I got to grab people by the front and they'd go, "Who are you?!" And in a growly voice I'd go, "I'm Batman."
But then when I went to the mall to get dinner, people STARED. And it doesn't help when the Burger King cashier goes, "Hello Batman! What can I get for you?"
Oh, I just dropped off a buncha Spunker flyers at the bookstore. Limited collector's editions! Going be worth money, you know! I guess it's a good sign if the staff enjoys them. Right? Just nod your head.
Tuesday, July 13, 1999, 1:28 am
Okay, I'm definitely losing it. I left to the house to go to the gym and then half-way there, I turned around and came back home because I finally decided that I was tired. I mean, I thought I wasn't tired because I tried to catch a few zzz's a few hours ago and I couldn't fall asleep but maybe it was because I was hot. But now that it rained, things seem cooler, and I smoked a cigarette in the car so I feel mellow and...
Oh man, I'm ditzy. I'm losing it. Now's a seriously good time to leave the fricken island already. In fact, it seems there's mass exodus from this island recently. Is there something in the water?
Oh shit, speaking of Vegas, try read this real fast. I came across it in Salonmagazine:
Is this a case for "The X-Files" or what? About 60 members of a Colombian doomsday cult journeyed into the mountains of the Sierra Nevada last weekend for a date with a spaceship -- and now they're nowhere to be found. Tipped off by Mariela Tovar, whose daughter Patricia is among the members of the Stella Maris Gnostic church who marched off to meet the millennial extraterrestrials, the police have been searching high and low, but as yet have not uncovered hide nor hair nor eerie green glow. (Authorities reportedly say they're ruling out nothing, including the possibility of a group encounter with a stray UFO.) Can you say "anal probe"?
Isn't that just fucking perfect? Actually, where exactly is the Sierra Nevada mountain range? (I flunked geography all right? Sue me with a banana.) I mean, it contains the word "Nevada" so that can't be a good sign for me can it?
Sigh. I hate traveling. I mean, don't get me wrong, if there's a city I wanna live in besides Honolulu, it'll be Vegas. I'll park my ass on a barstool at Caesar's Palace with a laptop and keep in touch with everybody from a video poker machine, but still... I fucking hate flying. And plus, you're in a foreign place surrounded by thousands of strangers. You never fucking know... The first time I went, everybody told me all those fucked up urban myths about how crazy mofos come and drug you and steal your kidneys and leave you to die in your hotel bathtub. Fabulous. That's why I always make it a point to thoroughly say goodbye to people before I leave Hawaii. (Neighbor island traveling doesn't count.)
Maybe I should make out a will. I bequeath the one and only fish left in the tank to Stacey. Congratulations, you are now the proud owner of the moodiest African butterfly on the planet. I leave my collection of exotic weapons to Michael. Umm, scratch that. He can have my death metal collection. Kitsune will kill me if I give away the knives and the guillotine. Olana can have my herd of ponies. Oh shit, I guess Stacey gets all my toys too. Jase can have all my lighters. Hey, that's not a bad thing cause there's a couple Colibris and Zippos in there! Erick can have my computer. Maybe he can get it to work. Jay gets my video games. Pam can have this gift certificate for brunch at the Moana Surfrider that I never got around to using. Christy and Peter can have all the secret sex scandal photos I have of various members of the English Department. Use them well; play your cards right and that'll be your retirement. Umm, did I miss anybody? Sorry. Really, you can go divide my belongings amongst yourselves. Please be fair about it, no fighting now.
Make sure I'm cremated and I'd like my ashes scattered in, oh fuck, I GOT IT! I want my ashes scattered all over the yard of this girl I've had a crush on from the 7th grade all the way to senior year in high school. You don't like me? Fine! Now I'm all over your yard for eternity! *Matt Damon voice* "How's them apples?!"
(If she moves, make sure the soil goes with her.)
Honestly, I promise, I'm not a prude, but I just didn't really care for American Pie. If anything, the shit that happened before the movie cracked me up more. Go read about it in Spunker later on.
If I don't write in here before I leave on Thursday, please, eat your bananas.
