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Okay, this unemployment thing is getting to me. Not in a bad way, I mean; well, you see, lemme explain. I think I'm having way too much fun these days. The Demons From Hell tried to give me another assignment and this one I flat-out turned down. Yay for me! Anyway, yeah, the plan remains the same. The only work I'm doing until the day after my birthday is gonna be my own worst fiction. Damn straight.
Then there's the fact that I got stoned for the second time in four years. When did I smoke last? Two weeks ago? And now it just happens to plop into my lap again? I swear, this is just total coincidence.
After the shindig, we went to the Great Hawaiian Hope's apartment and he busted it out and FUCK, this one. Oh. My. God. I've never gone off like that stoned in my entire life. Usually I'm the most boring person on the planet when I'm stoned. I just sit there and not say a word, or even move, for the next five hours. People tell me I just look bored and pissed off. But last night, I got the giggles. I couldn't fucking stop laughing. Then I finally shut up and didn't say a word for fifteen minutes, then I started laughing again. It was just too fucking trippy. And I'd be trying to move but I couldn't so I basically acted like the floppy fish at the end of the Faith No More video. Then later on, since I was surrounded by English majors, I got this urge to write and I demanded a pen and paper and I started jotting off these ludicrously stupid ideas. I'm still afraid to look at the paper. Anyway, I started playing with the Great Hawaiian Hope's magnetic poetry. (He likes having people make poems while they're stoned.) Anyway, I'm playing with the magnetic poetry and I'm convinced that I want to write a screenplay about a serial killer who murders his victims and leaves magnetic poetry messages on their fridges. I swear, if I was near my word processor last night, I would have sat there and actually wrote an entire screenplay. And I probably would've been laughing my ass off.
You know what? I got a confession. I'm really becoming a firm believer in weed. I mean, I liked it and all before, but this is really the first time I've been smoking it as an _______. (I was about to type adult, but I refuse to refer to myself as "an adult" and I'm too lazy to grab the thesaurus.) There's so many things I wanna try while being stoned. I seriously wanna write while on weed. I swear I'll probably type for hours straight. I could finish a novel under those conditions.
And music. Fuck. Any song you hear is cool when you're on weed. When I got home, I was just sitting there with the headphones on, hand-writing a chapter, listening to Nina Simone and it was so fucking cool. All things considered, that almost-coming-down chapter was okay too. A few constructive usable things came out of it.
Oh and yeah... Is driving while stoned bad? I mean, drinking and driving is bad, but... Nah. I guess you shouldn't drive stoned. But you know what? It's soooo fucking cool!!! Roll the windows down, watch everything go by, the CD player playing that stupid Jay Z song from the Blue Streak soundtrack that IG-88 started singing while drunk on tequila at the hotel that had me fucking rolling on the floor... It's just too damn cool.
God, look at me. Stick a little Molokai in my system and suddenly I wanna work for High Times. Localboi was right. I gotta find a way to get a steady amount of this stuff.
Job shmob.
The Great Hawaiian Hope even gave me a drug test kit, just in case I happen to get a job (cough, cough) and they schedule a drug test for me, and I'm worried. He's just too fucking cool.
And you know what? Out of all of us, he's the best writer. And he always smokes weed! See? It's all beginning to make sense to me now. But I doubt if I'll smoke with him again. He probably thinks I'm fucking nuts.
Ball And Chain finally found a job, which makes my life a helluva lot easier cause she's way less clingy when employed.
Gramma's in Vegas but I can't really enjoy it cause Mom's on vacation and Ball And Chain is Extra-Clingy™ cause she's about to lose her excuse to be a lazy-butt.
Shipley's serves Guiness that you can stand a spoon in.
You know what? I don't give a rat's ass cause all I wanna talk about is weed. Man, I gotta move on. Find a hobby.
Speaking of hobby, my gym schedule is all whacked already. I'm on the three day on, three day off schedule. I mean, granted, it's not really my fault due to deadlines, Grammas in Vegas, and clingy Ball And Chains, but still, I feel like a total slug. At least it gives me time for ab work.
Oh, and I finally handed in The Movie Review to Overpublished. Now, cause it took so long, everyone's giving it an Episode One kinda hype to it. Great. Now disappointment in the article will be inevitable.
I feel weird without the Movie Review. I've basically been working on it since May 19, the day Episode One came out. I've lived with it for nearly four months and now it's gone. I have post-Movie Review depression. I should find some weed to help me get over it.
Chill Factor sucked banana shit.
Instead let's talk about the full trailer for the next James Bond film, The World Is Not Enough. This movie is gonna fucking rock. For a while, I've had a bad feeling about Bond 19. I had a bad feeling it was gonna suck but now, I take it all fucking back. Denise Richards is appropriately bimbo-like. She has the potential to be the dumbest Bond chick since Tanya Roberts in A View To A Kill. Sophie Marceau is fucken evil. Robert Carlyle looks pretty fucking nuts. And the stunts. Oh man, explosions explosions explosions. And it looks like they're doing some cool computer generated shit like Mission Impossible. This one's gonna rock. Already there's been test screenings saying that this is Pierce Brosnan's best Bond yet and Robert Carlyle was polled as the best Bond villain, even beating Goldfinger, Oddjob, and Jaws. (Although I was never a Jaws fan. He's too cartoony. Still, my favorite villain is Klaus Maria Brandeur in Never Say Never Again, even though it's not an official Bond film.) Oh and M is being held hostage. That is just too cool. There's a contingent out there that doesn't like a female M, but I think she's fucking cool. I can't wait to see John Cleese take over as Q. Fuck, November 19 you know where I'll be. And I wouldn't mind getting stoned after. Anyway, the trailer is reportedly being attached to prints of that Exorcist wanna-be movie Stigmata so go check it out. You can leave the theater after the trailer ends.
