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Well shit, this has been a totemo busy period.
I won an award, I won an award!!! Granted it's only an academic award and I came in second place but still, 250 bucks!!!
In the grass is greener department, first place was $1000 but at least it was Dog Girl. There's someone I don't mind losing to.
In the eat shit department, I won with the story that the Hairy Editor totally fucking hated. I remember when I initially submitted it to him for the next issue, he told me, verbatim, "Aaron, why did you give me this shit?" Hee hee. The funny part is, usually they hand out three awards but this year, Mustache Instructor said there was no third place. Hairy Editor entered the contest too. There was no third place. Put it together and... I'll stop now before bachi comes to get me.
Of course, Hairy Editor decides to change the subject to the Department's recent rejection of me as well as my very first deal with the demons on the other side. Fucking asshole.
Highly ironic that the Department that turns me down has decided to give me another award for fiction. My guess is either they gave it to me out of pity, or they're giving it to me as a bribe to get me to go away. Anyways, that made my Friday. If I know the Department, I should be getting my check in about a year.
While doing research for my first deal with the devil, I ended up looking at three billion dollar microscopes in a lab. It was actually a real fun experience. I'm beginning to understand why people like that type of job. You actually get to go out there and meet new people for a semi-valid reason. Only thing I don't really care for is the pretension that seems to come with it. Fiction is self-important also, but this type of writing seems to be self-important in a slightly different way. Pretentious textual cousins if you will.
Whoops. Got a little side-tracked. Kitsune handed my ass to me. First time I battle-net-ed on Starcraft. Fascinating invention. Nukes are fascinating aren't they? Kitsune can go to hell and die.
So picking up where I left off...
After I finished my first deal with the devil, I managed to breathe a sigh of just-finished-workee-contentment when my pager went off.
Don't you fucking hate it when people page you with not one 911, but two?!
Turns out Dental Chick wants me to get my ass over to The Good Mother's house pronto. She won't tell me why, she thinks The Good Mother would rather tell me.
So I jam it on the freeway. (How's this but? I'm psychic. Seriously, I am. I'm jamming to The Good Mother's house and all of a sudden, I get this feeling that I really should slow down. So I drop the Supra to fifty and what do you know, a motorcycle cop's on the side of the freeway with his trusty radar gun. Remind me to add clairvoyance on my resume. --Kidding about the Supra. I actually, drive a Beetle. --Kidding about the Beetle. For reals, I drive a Hummer.)
So I get to The Good Mother's place and it turns out, she's having a panic attack because she's alone in the house. Sigh. Here I thought someone fucking died but-- Sigh.
I swear to God, these fucking obsessive/compulsive, agoraphobic, manic depressives are seriously gonna drive me bananas. I swear... I mean, I was up at 7 in the goddamn morning looking at two billion dollar electron microscopes and I had to work that night too.
Bah.
I mean, she's a friend and all, but GAWD, how many years has this been going on already?! Shit, go back to the shrink for the love of God!
At least I got man-doo out of it.
Another interesting nuggest from the weekend. Ball And Chain went ballistic cause her friend showed her a picture of a guy on the internet and they swore it was me. Uh huh, yeah right. So I get all these interrogation questions. "Who did you go beach with?" blah blah blah, cause everyone knows I "claim" to never have any spare time so how the hell did I find the time to go to the beach and on top of that, who took the fucking picture in the first place cause none of the people I currently hang out with go beach and yadda fucking yadda...
Once I saw the picture for myself, I just looked at Ball And Chain like she was the all time dumbest person on the planet. Oh fucking please. That person looked nothing the fuck like me.
Then again, maybe it did work. I'm thinking to myself, shit, when was the last time I was on Waikiki beach when I shouldn't have...
I swear, there's a fucking trap somewhere in this one.
Then I remembered, I do have a doppelganger somewhere on this island. I forget where I saw him, but I remember when I did see him, I went, Holy shit! That guy looks just like me! And a few times, people have walked up to me and started full-on conversations before I had to tell them that I've never met them before in my life.
I'm not the only one too. Ball And Chain and Dental Chick claim to have doppelgangers too. Unfortunately, Ball And Chain can't pronounce "doppelganger." I swear, the chick should just start wearing her fucking glasses already.
Hung out for a bit with Bookworm and Linus. Christ, it had to be over ten years since I've spoken with Linus. Trippy. He's still kinda the same. I can't believe they actually know each other. Strange thing this island...
Hell, I can't believe I used to play baseball with him. Hell, I can't believe I used to play baseball period!
I'm growing fucking old.
Hell hell, I could barely open the door to the gym this week.
Lost And Found. Let's put it this way: David Spade's character drove a Beetle. Need I say more?
In explanation of the movie rating any stars in the first place, Sophie Marceau was in it, and it's the first time I've seen her in a comedy. She has such a pleasant demeanor too! It's gonna be really weird trying to forget her smile when she pops up as the Bond villain in The World Is Not Enough.
