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Today went much more smoothly AND I left work early. Then I perused a document that totally made my day and with the way shit's been going lately, I really appreciate things that make my day. I actually thought today was gonna suck shit. I started the morning by spilling some coffee on my brand new Old Navy shirt which of course was WHITE. But then that kinda shit always happens to me.
Sunday, January 16, 2000, 10:40am
Here's one from The This Can Only Happen To Aaron Department: I'm leaving the gym and there's this black homeless woman with a shopping cart standing outside. She goes, "Can you spare a few dollars?" Since I just bought a protein drink, I had a quarter so I thought, what the fuck. I told her I had a quarter. She goes, "A what?" I go, "A quarter." And then she goes, "Nevermind," and she takes off. I'm like, WTF?! Is there like some kind of fucking homeless-minimum-wage I didn't know about? Uh gee, fuck you? If you don't want my quarter, I got a pretty good idea how you ended up homeless, bitch!
In another item from the same department, I was taking a shit at work in the stall right next to the urinal. I hear a guy walk up and start taking a leak while humming the state anthem really loudly.
Anyway, I really can't get over how friendly the girls are at work. I swear to God, if it wasn't for the job, 90% of these girls wouldn't give me the time of day. It seems at five pm, everyone goes to wash out their portable coffee mugs in the water fountain. I run into Supermodel and she's all, "You look really familiar!"
I'm like, "Training?"
She shakes her head. "No... Do you go to Oceans?"
"I, uh, maybe once every two years."
"I probably seen you at Oceans."
"Uh, okay." Now frankly, she looks like a shorter version of NASA's ex-fiancee and I even asked her if she had a taller sister who lives in California, but that wasn't it either.
Then yesterday, while I was doing cardio at the gym, I hear someone screaming my name and there's Supermodel going at it on a Stairmaster. Aha! So that's where she must've seen me before!
But anyway, if anything, I love this job for the socialbility factor. The girl next door who's friends with Dell Pickle came by yesterday to tell me that Dell wants to know if I wanna go out for Stinky's birthday and blah blah blah. She said she'll call to let me know what's going on but no one did. Just as well. I had to watch Ball And Chain sleep anyway.
Monday, January 24, 2000, 1:41am
The pace of my life these days is pretty odd. Things are moving a lot faster than I'm used to. Professionally as well as personally. There's someone I'm totally attracted to. I think the feeling's mutual except I really can't bring myself to mention that I'm slightly attached. Regardless, I've been a seriously good boy and I broke my arm patting myself on the back after exhibiting remarkable remarkable restraint. The other problem is that I'm really trying very hard to keep the attraction physical, but I spent the whole weekend wondering what she's doing. That not good. There's rules. One of them was I'd never ever get involved again. Much less at the same damn time. And then there's a couple other complications.
I think I'm juggling. That cannot be good at all. Not good. This situation very bad. And I'm trying to lead a normal human life here! Not good.
Wednesday, January 26, 2000, 2:51pm
Things are moving too quickly. My personal life is a mess, a total mess. Actually, it isn't a mess yet. That will probably be my choice. Hell, I'm not even entirely sure that she feels the same way. Although I think there's a 40% chance that she likes me back. I'm scared to tell her I have a girlfriend. I can't stop thinking about her. I want to talk to her so badly it hurts. Three hours of talking went by like nothing and I wish I didn't have to go home. If it wasn't for the fact that I had to get up early in the morning, I think I could've spent the whole damn night with her, just talking. She touched me for a split second. Her fingers touched my wrist when she checked out my power bracelet. At one point, she touched my shoulder, but I was wearing my jacket. It's been a real long time since I've felt that way. For a while, ever since Ball And Chain, I got used to a certain way of feeling. I'd get happy, excited, whatever, but it's been so long since I've actually had those kinds of feelings that just drive you totally fucking insane. SHE, on the other hand, treats me like I'm special. I just don't know how to handle that.
Ball And Chain buys me things all the fucking time but it always feels forced, like some sort of twisted, materialistic game of one-up-manship. I'm not really a flashy person. The $300 Coach watch for my birthday is just sitting in a drawer in my desk.
Ever since I started working, things have been good between us, simply because we hardly see each other. I keep thinking I want to break up with her but I feel like a total fucking jerk; I'd look like one of those guys who waited until they had something else lined up in order to dump their girlfriends. I don't think it's been a huge secret that things aren't exactly keen between me and her.
Magnolia was just too amazing a movie. I just ordered the soundtrack cause I love that part when the whole cast starts singing that Aimee Mann song. And frogs, man. Frogs...
