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Okay, I got fucked up the ass in so many different ways today, I can barely sit.
I really don't wanna talk about it, but I'm literally in the mood to kill someone.
Sigh.
One breath at a time.
Okay, first I got fucked by unemployment. Then I got fucked by The Boss. I can't fucking believe he gave the position to Smoking Poseur. That just fucking fucking fucking stinks. I am so goddamn pissed about that one I can barely fucking walk right now.
Then there's Cock Eyes and Camel Girl. Yes they are fucking. Not sure why I'm reacting like this. I mean I knew already. Anybody with half a fucking brain cell could figure that one out. Maybe I did care about her more than I thought. Maybe I'm pissed that I thought me and Cock Eyes were pretty good friends and he looked me in the eye and directly lied to my face when I asked him point blank.
I think I'm just having a banner bad day. Actually a bad week cause Ball And Chain is just going fucking crazy already. I could have sworn that when someone dumps someone, it's non-negotiable. You can't send in appeals for reconsideration and shit like that. And I just don't react well to being stalked.
I know I got to be fair. The Boss out and out screwed me, I can hate his guts no problem. I have absolutely no reason to be mad at Cock Eyes and Camel Girl. Although it's probably human nature to want to resent.
I think I just have to keep my cool. Do not fucking lose it. I'm on vacation damnit. I read a really wise statement today. Something to the effect of treating people like cats. Play with them when they come around but otherwise, ignore them. That actually makes a lot of sense.
Friday, May 26, 2000, 5:03pm
Okay, now life is really getting fucking interesting. I fucked someone I totally should NOT have fucked and I probably only fucked that person cause Camel Girl and Cock Eyes hurt my feelings, and my African Butterfly finally died, probably due to either me not cleaning my fish tank or me not feeding it.
I haven't been at a point in my life where perhaps I should start carrying condoms for almost five years. Gosh how things change. I'm a fucking dinosaur. (Not literally... Fuck off.) Maybe I should get a blood test while I'm at it, cause I mean, you never fucking know these days. Fuck, I have no clue how to be single again. I gotta go get one of those Women are from Venus books or something... Or is that too dated already?
On the up side, I'M FUCKING GOING TO VEGAS BABY!!!!!!!!! I just bought the tickets today and Jar Jar better not fuck with me on this one. I wanna stay Hard Rock Cafe for at least a couple nights, then we can go ahead and stay at MGM for Jar Jar. Gotta figure shit out for Danny Gans and the Blue Men Group. Oh, and gotta gotta make reservations for that restaurant on the Eiffel Tower. It totally stinks that I'm missing Don Henley by a couple days.
On the kinda up side, went to Oceans last night and didn't quite get fucked up until we were leaving. The Effeminate Heterosexual introduced me to a martini. Being that I've been a James Bond fan since the fifth grade, I'm surprised I haven't developed a taste for it until last night. "Vodka martini, two olives." But then again, lately, stick anything in my face and I'll probably drink it these days.
I guess I'm not really a vodka fan, but for some reason, last night it seemed appropriate. I was getting tired of Bud Light. I get like that. $2 Coronas and $2 vodka cranberries, and I'll go and order something that's not on special. Go fucking figure.
For someone who considers himself not much of a clubber, I've been hitting Oceans kinda often lately. I'm probably more of a bar-type. Even upstairs at Pipelines is a little too clubby for me. I gotta convince Them that we should hit the Wave or something one night. That seems more my speed.
But anyway, vodka gives you a real interesting buzz. It kinda sneaks up on you and you don't realize you're fucked until you're on the way to Sushi King. Maybe it wasn't the vodka but the olive. It's like the Tequila Worm Principle. If you save the olive for last, it spends the whole time soaking up the alcohol so when you finally eat it, it's like vodka grenade in your stomach.
I promise I'm not stoned. That's just my fricking theory.
I promise I'll start drying out when I get back from Vegas. Yeah, I'll start drinking way less. In August.
Mission: Impossible 2 was so totally different from the first one that it's a little jarring. It's not even like it's a sequel; an entirely different movie period. A movie done by JOHN WOO. Only JOHN WOO can make Tom Cruise look that cool, cause let's face it, he's been a total dork for a while now.
Not that I'm complaining cause John Woo made Thandie Newton's and Tom Cruise's relationship soooo cool and during his trademark hostage scene, Thandie Newton does something so touching and so John Woo that it just rocks... What the fuck kinda sentence was that? What am I talking about? I can't write for shit. It's the vodka I tell you. I came home last night and just passed out in my clothes on the living room floor. Bad... But anyway, you ever thought that if John Woo stopped doing all his slow motion, his movies would be only one hour?
