|
|
My god, it's been so long that I actually typed August instead of September.
Again, my one of my trademark lines: what the living fuck have I been up to?
Still umemployed, AND FUCKING LOVIN IT!!! I've finally settled into being a slug and found a comfortable groove. I decided I'm having a World Cup of Fun and I ain't gonna even worry about my "career" until the week after my birthday. So there.
The swanky downtown appointment with Daddy's Friend turned out to be a tremendous waste of time. All the advice the guy gave me basically came down to, "You have to get your resume out there and not be afraid to pound the pavement." Thanks. Thanks a lot. You're brilliant. Fucking brilliant.
The appointment lasted me roughly 30 minutes and I was dumb enough to put two hours into the parking meter. Refusing to just give the state all those quarters, I had an iced coffee at Starbucks, then checked out the primo downtown pick-up spot: the magazine rack at Bestsellers. Kitsune must definitely take lunch breaks there. And I still had time on the meter. I should've checked out the gym there since I was in the area.
Actually, I haven't totally been a slug. You're not gonna fucking believe this. I'm on version 3.4 of The Movie Review!!! (Start clapping with applause until your hands bleed!) I don't believe it either. Just a few tweaks with the thesis and a couple incidental one-liners and I'll be ready to turn it in to Overpublished tomorrow. Cross them toes!
Finally stopped by to talk to Overpublished. I assured him that I did not forget The Movie Review and I even showed him the pages of version 2.0. Granted I didn't let him touch them... It was just a matter of reassurance that approximately 2152 words did indeed exist.
And he decided to give a home to The Play Article, so now I actually have to do it. Granted I think it's a real good idea and it should be a lotta fun but umm... Just between you and me, The Movie Review took an estimated four months. There's gonna be a bit more research and interviewing involved with The Play Article, so umm, how the fuck long is that one gonna take me?
Actually, I've been writing like a demon. I started work on my own little version of Eyes Wide Shut since the actual movie pissed me off so much. Unfortunately, it's basically the respective stories of Dental Chick and The Good Mother and their spouses told verbatim. For the first time in years, I let Ball And Chain read the opening portion and she agreed: I'll never be able to publish this in a million years cause either Dental Chick or The Good Mother (probably more Dental Chick) will fucking put a bounty out on my nuts. And with the exception of The Good Mother's husband, I'm using real first names too. That probably doesn't help. BUT IT'S ORGANIC!!! It just has to be that way for the creative process to work. Lame excuse.
Frankly though, I feel justified. Mom went in for an appointment and on her way out, Dental Chick starts making some off-hand remark about how I'm still living at home and then she fucking has the gall to tell my mother that I'm just paying the minimum on my credit card. My mother went on to say that it's none of her business about how I handle my finances but still, she felt that Dental Chick shouldn't have mentioned something like that, and my mother's fucking right. Where the fuck does she get off compromising my privacy? On top of that, she compromises my privacy with my mother? Why not just tell her all about my fucking sex life while she's at it? I swear to God, Dental Chick has been on my ass for a long ass time now and I think it's stemming all the way from the time that I reacted negatively to her idea about buying a karaoke joint, not too mention, her quitting smoking. She's been a fucking bitch ever since she quit smoking. Well, you know fucking what about the karaoke joint? I was right cause the fucking plans fell through, didn't it?! And it ain't my fault that I decided to commit the fucking sin of pursuing an education and God forbid, getting a fucking degree. All thing considered, she should mind her own goddamn business and direct her attention to her infant of a fucking boyfriend. I swear, I know why he can't get out of retail: cause he's fucking stone stupid! I bet when he goes for job interviews, they have a separate way of testing him. They give him a wooden block and a panel with three openings in the shapes of a circle, a square, and a star and I can just imagine the poor thing trying to shove the square into the star opening. Regardless, I seriously need to cool down cause I know the way I feel now, if I talk to Dental Chick, it's gonna get ugly. And to top it all off, I DON'T just pay the minimum on my credit cards! Where the fuck did she get that from? Perhaps she mistakened her own totally fucked up, bankruptsy-isn't-a-bad-idea, financial situation with mine.
Fuck, I SHOULD look into getting it published.
Actually, I'm coming off a nasty drinking binge from this Labor Day weekend. We got a room at the Colony Surf. We only chose that place cause we wanted to stay in the hotel that Ruthie from The Real World wanted to kill herself in. Man, now that is a hotel. Leis and juice at the front desk. As soon as we walked into the room, the CD player is softly spinning "If You Can't Say No" by Lenny Kravitz. That was just beyond cool. And I even managed to do a significant portion of work on the second draft of The Movie Review there. Whenever I'm working on second drafts, I always want a room there now.
Went to the Okinawan Festival and it was hot and boring. My first and last. I mean, I know I should have Okinawan Pride™ and all but I just fucking hate Okinawan food. And the music is so high pitched and irritating and twangy. And did I mention it was hot? Standing in line in the blazing sun for forty-five minutes for fried mochi is not my idea of a short, hairy good time.
Speaking of good time, the UH game. How does this reflect upon the culture in Hawaii? I'll be charitable and say Hawaii has the power to band together as a community to be optimistic in the face of certain death and exhibit oodles of blind faith. To use a film analogy, if there's one archipelago that will unwaveringly believe that Harrison Ford's hat wasn't taped down in the Indiana Jones films, Hawaii is it.
How much points were they giving? 24? Whoever out there who made that bet...
We were all watching the news after and I seriously wanted Bob "Double-Chin" Hoag to interview the dense "GO BOWS!" fuck with the green and white face again. I wanted to hear him explain that fiasco.
One last bitch: June Jones bothers me. Not really him himself, but his name. I just can't say it, and I fricken hate hearing it. Something about that name makes me cringe. Shit, I could barely type it. And is it just me or does that guy always look this close to throwing a hissy fit?
Please. No more about the football team. Just begging for mockery already and our poor island will already suffer irreparable damage from Baywatch and that dumb-ass Star Search show. Why don't we direct our attention to volleyball instead?
Oh, speaking of volleyball, li hing mui tequila will hurt you. Never again. At least until New Year's. I'm growing seriously old. I could barely move my joints. It took two Tylenols and an hour in the steaming hot hotel shower before I felt vaguely Okinawan again.
I don't know how the fuck IG-88 does it. That fucker is chronic. He was majorly drunk, only got two hours of sleep and still managed to put in an eight hour shift. And he's only a year younger. I don't get it.
Is it a sign of age when you think everything is too salty?
Teaching Mrs. Tingle was actually a pretty good movie. Fun. And I'm really starting to like Katie Holmes, especially after seeing her in Go too. She just has this real cute, duck-like way about her. And she has pretty nice boobs too, yeah?
The thing that initially really pissed me off about the movie was that they changed the original title, Killing Mrs. Tingle, just cause they were scared that idiot kids would actually go out killing their teachers. Turns out though, the "teaching" title is really more appropriate for the film.
Quack.
