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Okay, this time I fell asleep from the time they reached Tatooine till the beginning of the pod race. It was no reflection on the movie of course, I was just dog-tired cause I had to pick up my bitchy father's pathetic ass from the airport at eight in the fricken morning.
On top of that, Kitsune The Pirate brought his little copy to work so I watched all the way up to the pod race anyway. Too bad I fell asleep though. I wanted to say that I saw The Phantom Menace four and a half times.
At least I finally saw the E.T.s. When I first heard about them, I thought IG-88 was totally fucking smoking crack. Then more people started mentioning it and I'll be damned, there they were. When Natalie Portman calls for the vote of no-confidence, when all the aliens starts protesting, in the bottom left corner of the screen, in their own little circular pod thing, there are three E.T. the Extra Terrestrials waving their long arms and pointy index fingers. That was so cool.
You see, it's not just a movie. It's the gift that keeps on giving.
I also noticed a few other things. You know when Liam Neeson took Anakin's blood sample and he goes, "No Jedi has a midichlorian count that high." You see that shot of Shmi Skywalker looking at him then going back in the house. That's because she knows she lied to Liam's face. Immaculate Conception my ass. She doesn't wanna admit she fucked a Sith. I got it all figured out. Senator Palpatine was all fucken drunk and he gets horny and he goes for the first slave he can get his slime-o hands on: Shmi.
Ho, and when Samuel L. Jackson tells Liam them that they can't train Anakin. Did you see the meanest fucken stink eye Jake Lloyd gives Mace Windu?! You just know that that little shit's gonna hold a grudge, and when he goes over to the Dark Side, the first Jedi he's gonna pop is gonna be Mace Windu.
I can't believe the Jake Lloyd action figure is selling out.
Saw the movie with the Good Mother and Yobo. Later, at her house, she dropped the majorest fucking bombshell on me. We were talking till two in the morning. We both admitted that we "settled." We also both never said something like that to anybody before either. Or at least out loud.
Strange really. I'm not sure exactly how happy I am, or if I'm actually not happy. Like I was telling her, honestly, I don't think about it. Or at least try not to. I told her about my minor indiscretions. I can't believe I did that. She also told me some majorly disturbing shit, especially considering that she's got a whole deal going on over there.
Are we bad people? Definitely. The really sad thing is that we're bad people whose significant others have very good hearts.
So many people are rushing to get married. Good Mother told me that Dental Chick and Flip want us all to go to Vegas cause they're gonna get married there next year. Umm gee, I just saw her lazy Zelda-playing ass on Sunday and nobody mentioned shit to me.
You know, I even asked NASA why he's in such a fucken hurry to get married. He looks me straight in the face and goes, "FOB's visa is gonna expire." Well, shit, I think we can all see this one coming. Did I write that already? Never mind.
We also agreed that Dental Chick is indeed getting old. Even Good Mother noticed how bitchy she's been lately.
Granted, we swore that what we told each other tonight wouldn't leave the room, but I really hope everything turns out okay cause I wouldn't touch that one with an eighty foot banana.
Ate at Bubba Gump's, or as it sounds like to everyone else, bubblegum. If you want a quiet evening for dinner, that definitely ain't the place to go. From the start, the host asks me, ME, for a movie or television actor or character. AND I BLANKED OUT!!! I COULDN'T THINK OF A SINGLE THING! Then he goes, "Favorite sports team?" And I still couldn't think of anything. Finally, he goes, "Aw c'mon, you had a favorite cartoon character when you were a kid right?" And the only thing that slowly, retardly came out of my mouth was, "Umm, Marvin. Marvin the Martian." And so of course when they finally scream your table, "MARVIN THE MARTIAN? C'MON DOWN TO A KICKIN' SHRIMPFEST!!!" everybody's totally fucking staring at you.
Then the waiters and the people who seat you don't leave you alone with the Forrest Gump trivia.
"What was Forrest Gump's last name?"
"What was the first thing Forrest Gump said to his principal?"
"Who did Jenny sleep with first?"
"How did Forrest's mother get him enrolled into school?"
At that one, I couldn't take it anymore and I looked the waiter in the eye and went, "She FUCKED THE SHIT out of the principal, right?" The Forrest Gump trivia quiz stopped after that.
Honestly, I didn't know the restaurant was like that. I didn't mean to be a total party poop on their opening weekend. I mean, if I knew, I would've prepared, ignoring the fact that I still strongly believed that Pulp Fiction deserved the Best Picture Oscar 100% more than Forrest Gump did.
I mean, think about it. Which movie is more hiply quotable and useful? You can show Pulp Fiction on the TV over the bar and no one will think anything of it. Show Forrest Gump on loop on the VCR, and people are gonna think something's very fucking rotten in Denmark.
God, ever since The Phantom Menace, I've been so movie-centric lately. I should make a movie review site.
Actually, I really should be working on the movie review for Overpublished. He finally e mailed me today with a polite "Where the living fuck is it?" I seriously gotta sit my ass in front of the tellie and force myself to watch North Shore. Don't ask.
