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I refuse to waste bytes on the graphic for Runaway Bride. Richard Gere was just so fucking smug looking that the image just really pissed me off.
I've sunk to new lows while I combat strep throat. (By the way, if anyone out there knows: you know those white patches or spots on your swollen tonsils? Well, the cortisone shot seriously brought the swelling down, but sometimes, especially after I brush my teeth, I can actually feel them in the back of my throat. And when I looked in the mirror tonight, they looked more brownish than white. Is this normal? Please tell me I'm not dying. Much obliged if you can ease my weary mind.
Anyway, yeah, new lows. I developed two new obsessions. Constantly brushing my teeth and eating tuna. NO you perverts, canned tuna. Ever since that night I got my ass stoned (and if I did get strep throat from that stupid bong, I'm raging)... Well, when I got home that night, I discovered that I was FUCKING starving. I ate my leftover six inch Spicy Italian Subway sandwich, then I cracked open a can of tuna and ate it with Ritz crackers, then I ate about a dozen of those lychee jelly caps. Then I ate another can of tuna with Ritz crackers. Strange, but ever since then, I just got this strange jones for tuna.
The one thing that I learned from Melonhead was that he never put mayonaise on his tuna. He refridgerated (sp?) it, then he ate it with crackers and some sort of expensive fancy shmancy New York chef soy sauce (of course). The thing was, it actually tasted pretty good. Next time I'm on campus, I really should stop by and ask what the sauce was. I'm sure it's obtainable somehow without having to actually don a bullet proof vest and GO to New York.
I also started up again on doing that stupid Hollywood Stock Exchange shit. I used to do it occasionally. Ball And Chain and her friends were into it more than I was. The thing that actually made me wanna fuck around with it again was Kitsune. You see, he's all getting into stocks now and all that stock shit reminded me of HSX, and since I'm in absolutely no position to be playing the market, electronic or otherwise, that's the safest bet. Of course, the first shares I bought were for The World Is Not Enough.
Chip Douglas called. Told me he saw The Thomas Crown Affair and loved it. See? Told you. No one in their right mind doesn't like this movie! And he's a kinda Mr. Smarty Pants too. Not to be confused with Mr. Stripey Pants™.
I got to see Ball And Chain for a while today. That was nice.
Oh God, I can't believe I said that. I'm sick, I'm dying, and I've been cooped up in the house for two days straight with the exception of trudging to Straub to get shot in the right ass cheek with Everclear. That's my excuse. Not like I'm suddenly Boyfriend Of The Year. Whew. Can't lose my Asshole rep. I worked too hard for it!!!
Actually, my ass is still kinda sore.
In typical Ball And Chain fashion, even though stress can erode the immune system by at least 40%, she insisted on making huge plans for all of her friends, me included unfortunately, for the big Labor Day weekend fiesta whatever- who gives a shit. I finally managed to convince them to stay on the fucking island since umm, duh, no one has money, and umm, DUH, a certain person is unemployed... I hope we can manage a cheap hotel. In fact, if it's on the island, at least I can drive home and get some rest and come back. I swear, I hate their little hotel parties. And it's gonna be for more than one night. Actually, I like partying with IG-88, but even then, eventually, I just turn into a chaperone.
"No, no. Just stop. All you need to do to get the beer smell out of the corner of the bed spread is to simply wash the afflicted corner. You don't have to soak the entire thing in the bathtub."
"But I couldn't find the beer spot."
"Well, we're just going to have to LOOK then DAMNIT!!!"
sigh. I can just picture it already...
I wanna go to Chow Mein. I don't know why. I miss that place. Yo, Mike, Pam... Let's go to Chow Mein and drink at the Hanohano Room once I'm healed. No wait, let's go to David Paul's. I never went there before. No wait, I'm unemployed. What the fuck am I talking about?
I'm cabin fever cabbage.
I got my hair cut today. I think I went a little too short on the bangs. I look like Kevin Costner in The Bodyguard and I don't think that can be a good thing.
My haircutter told me an interesting story. When they lived in McCully, her ex-husband saw a menehune when he came home late at night. He said it was a short little Hawaiian guy just traipsing along the sidewalk, then he saw the husband. The husband bolted and ran into the house and through the window, he could see the menehune just standing around outside, trying to look for him. Kinda spooky no? I mean, I thought menehunes were nice little helper dudes. I mean, they look so happy on the bottled water labels.
She also brought up the ghost woman from the Waialae Drive-In bathroom. I'm getting a little skeptical on this one. I mean, when they tore Waialae Drive-In down, I heard she moved to the Liberty House Kahala Mall bathroom. Then I heard she moved to the women's toilet down by the theaters. Now I hear she's using the one at Zippy's Kahala. Umm, okay.
I ain't saying nothing cause I don't need more bad luck.
Runaway Bride really fucking sucked. I mean, I know it wasn't much of a plot to begin with, but you know, I figured that they'd get a little creative cause that's why Hollywood pays the big bucks, you know? I mean, I thought they'd come up with a little more... something... But seriously, that's it. She just runs away from the altar and well, Richard Gere wants to know why, and well, that's it.
That's so sad. I mean, it took Rich Gere and Julia Roberts that long to make another movie together and THIS is what they come up with. I heard for a while they were thinking of making something called Manhattan Ghost Story and that one sounded pretty good. I seriously hope a lotta people got paid really well cause this was a fucking insult to a mento retard's intelligence.
If you haven't seen Pretty Woman definitely go see that. If you have, try and get your hands on the DVD cause I heard they integrate a shitload of extra footage into the film. They don't tack it on another section of the DVD like how a lot of the products normally do. Granted I have seen any of the extra footage but I'm certain it's a helluva lot better than Runaway Bride. I can't believe we missed Teaching Mrs. Tingle and ended up seeing this. Sad life.
One last Blair Witch story. I promise this time. Last one. No spoiler warning required although at this point, I'm sure everyone fucking knows what happened anyway.
According to the Hairy Editor, who got it through email, you can supposedly SEE the Blair Witch in two scenes. One of them is when they find all those stick figures in the trees and stuff. Apparently there's a blurry image in the background of a "figure." Okay. The other scene he can't remember but it's along those lines. The more concrete one is when they're in the house. Supposedly on the side of the frame, you can see a hand opening and closing.
Ugh. I'm getting chills.
Anyway, I refuse to see the movie again so if anyone goes again and notices these things, pass it on. Much mahalo.
Also, if anyone out there knows an EASY way for me to get a BBS board or something, lemme know. Much mahalo.
You see, I ask so many fucking questions these days, even I'm beginning to think the beg for email links are getting a little pathetic and annoying. The thing is, I really want these questions answered so you know, a BBS is a little easier, safer, and more anonymous, don't you think? Yeah, me too. Anyway, anyone with easy HTML for dummies info, please donate. God bless.
