|
|
Laziness spree continues. I just talked myself outta not going to the gym. I went yesterday and did back and biceps so overtraining right? Just nod your heads. I promise I'll go the next two days in a row starting tomorrow. Especially cause I can't go the consequent two days after. I'm just justifying myself with an audience. Is that supposed to be better than making excuses by yourself? All things considered, overtraining CAN happen easily so it's better that I be safer than sorry right? Right. Just nod your heads.
Regardless, I still gotta figure out my bills and write that story but frankly, I can barely manage to drag myself to the bean bag chair to play Space Channel 5 on the Dreamcast. I'm surprised I had the energy to obtain it in the first place. Although it totally depleted me so now I'm too lazy to go hunt for Perfect Dark.
I'm so lazy, I'm still writing about experiences that were already covered in previous journal entries. Granted, I can't believe I managed to leave this one out:
So I'm at the Waikiki Aquarium and I'm taking a leak at the urinal. Then a swarm of little boys (about 7 years old I guess) come swarming in and one of them takes the urinal next to me. And while he's pissing, he proceeds to lean over and stare at my dick for the ENTIRE duration of my leak. Thank God I'm the type that can piss under all circumstances. I felt like turning to the boy and going, "Are you gay?" But then, what if he really was a seven year old homosexual? I didn't want the boy to think I was homophobic or something. So I just endured his stare until I finished. Once I left to wash up, the boy proceeded to have fun by flushing the urinal again and again and again. That's why this island's in a water shortage: the seven year old peeping tom from the Moilili Community Center is continuously flushing public urinals.
Camel Girl said that maybe the boy was staring my willy thinking, "Wow, that's what I'm gonna become!" Frankly, I have a sad feeling that the seven year old's dick was bigger than mines.
I also went shopping with Mommy. With her credit card, I lost my fucking mind at Old Navy. Do you realize how many pairs of drawstring shorts I own now? I gotta clean my closet. Great, more shit on the to-do list. I don't react to being unemployed very well, I thinks.
The weirdest shopping experience though, was the other day. I was trying on this shirt in the upstairs Ala Moana Banana Republic dressing room and inside the room, there was another door. A smaller door than the one I entered. I tried it, but it was locked pretty shut. I kept thinking about this long ass joke that involved opening doors that got consecutively smaller and smaller. I should've tried to force it open. Maybe I might've ended up in John Malkovich's brain and I could charge people to enter his brain for fifteen minutes at a time from the Ala Moana Banana Republic. After the fifteen minutes is up, you'll be dropped onto one of the many freeway on/off ramps that are closed on the H-1. My job situation problem will be over!
Although, technically, is it really a job situation problem? I mean, I'm not exactly trying to find a job right now, but then, some extra cash to the savings for Perfect Dark would be pretty keen. I'm on a slight budget cause of Vegas. Which is why I pigged out after 10pm at Sansei, instead of a normally priced sushi bar. That makes sense right? Just nod your heads and eat a lobster and asparagus roll.
Wednesday, June 28, 2000, 9:36pm
As usual, my body decided to catch a cold before I left for Vegas. Never fails. At least it's better than being sick up there.
Since I can't really go out and I can't really lift, I hung out at Kahala Mall tonight and it was pretty entertaining as usual.
There was a really strange guy at Barnes And Noble. The thing was, he didn't look strange. He just looked like a normal Japanese guy around my age. He was sitting in one of the aisles reading a book. The thing was, every few minutes, he let out this huge, loud ass fart. At first I thought maybe something was squeaking, like his rubber soled shoe up against a bookshelf or something, but then I hear another fart rip, and he looks right at me, then continues reading. Then his friend comes, and they're talking, and he lets another one rip, and his friend is like, "What the fuck is wrong with you?!" and the friend walks away. I couldn't take it anymore so I took my browsing elsewhere.
What is society coming too? I really hope it's not becoming standard practice to just let farts rip in public.
Then I was smoking a cigarette with my Starbucks and these fucking punk kids were smoking cigarettes and spitting and shit near a bench where I was sitting. You know the type, Hawaiian, scrubby-looking, and they're pushing each other and making a big deal about the simple act of smoking cigarettes. Then I notice, for a bunch of punks, they aren't making as much noise as they should. There's a lot of punk movements, but no punk sounds. Then I notice the hand motions: they're hearing-impaired punks! What a terrific concept! They can go ahead and be punks but they won't be loud and obnoxious because they're all fucking deaf! I wish all punks were like that! Now if only we can figure out a way to curb the spitting...
Then a few minutes later, Mom points out Michael Bergin from Baywatch. I swear, for someone who supposedly inspires so much lust in women around the globe, he's a real old-looking, wrinkled, pink haole. But the thing that made me happy was, the fucker smokes! I guess you don't have to be in that great a condition to be a lifeguard these days. But then, lifeguards don't really have to do a lot of high risk saving when they feel lazy these days; all they have to do is stick up a beware-of-jellyfish sign in the sand.
I was really fucking surprised at how well done Shaft was. A lot of people were bored because of all the plot, and yes, it could have used a lot more action (John Singleton ain't no action movie director), but it was a really well done plot. The funny thing was, the coolest character in the whole movie wasn't Shaft himself, but the villain, this Latino gangster named Peoples Hernandez or something, who has this fucking accent from Mars. I swear he was talking his own language that was only vaguely related to English. He was so fucking cool. Recent James Bond movies don't have villains as cool as him. I swear the guy who played him deserves an Oscar nomination.
The only thing I have against the movie is that when it's done, people leave the theater singing "Shaft" over and over again. It's really quite irritating. At least wait till you're in the car or something before you do it.
