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Whelps, it's that time of the year again. Forgive me if my mood is overly reflective but I always get like this on my birthday. I can't fucking believe I'm unemployed at my age.
Well, at least you have a degree.
Fuck off.
One of Ball And Chain's co-workers mentioned that he had a Ten Year Plan. (Personally, I hate people like that.) I have a One Week Plan. Haircut today, dinner with Father later this week, and endure a night with Crabby Boba on the weekend. Shit, that's actually a Five Day Plan.
Oh, and go to the gym. Yeah, all part of the plan. So far I managed to go three days in a row. After midnight. Back to the usual schedule. Since it's been so empty, I've been going in the sauna again. Ever since they remodeled, I swear the thing is hotter. I'm sweating within seconds and I'm not the sweating type. What's the deal with saunas anyway? You sweat out all the pollutants and crap in your body, is that the deal? Personally, it's not really the sauna itself I like, but the coming out into air-conditioning afterwards. You feel really cool. Literally.
When James Bond was beefing Xenia Onnatop in the steam room in Goldeneye, how the fuck did he managed to keep his towel on?
Anyway, I hope tomorrow's peaceful. (Plus it's Haircut Day, and nothing should ruin one's Haircut Day.) I begged Mom not to take me out to dinner if Gramma's coming with us. I mean, she's a little too old to go to restaurants that aren't Victoria Inn already. If it was just me and Mom, fine, cool, Hawaii Prince here we come. But with Gramma, things get a little embarassing.
Hopefully, Ball And Chain will keep it together too. I insisted that she get her rest and make some hoopla about it on the weekend, since she is starting a new job this week. Of course, I did it strictly to give myself some peace, quiet, and time for ample reflection. (Mental note: I should get myself a hooker. No, make that TWO hookers. Cool bananas.) I seriously seriously hope she didn't get me anything cause I'd rather she wait and spend the ludicrous amount of money she always spends on video games. You see, Dino Crisis and Gauntlet Legends is coming out pretty soon so, you know... I mean, if she's gonna spend a shitload of money, she may as well get me something I really really want right? Am I being an ass again?
Speaking of ass, did anyone out there get a Sega Dreamcast? I'm really kinda curious about it. Considering Sega's track record, I'm definitely in zero rush to buy one. If it turns out to be pretty good, maybe, maybe, in a year. But still, I'm curious. I hear the thing can even stick you on the Internet. Sounds interesting... But I also hear Playstation 2 is gonna fucking rock the planet, and Nintendo's coming out with that Dolphin thing too...
Fuck man, there's too much video game shit coming out. I seriously gotta get a job. Or cut costs and subscribe to magazines. But I hate subscribing to magazines. The only ones I subscribe to are Entertainment Weekly and Time and only cause those are weeklies, but even then, they still fucking come days after the issue hits the newsstands. Personally though, I think it's just me. The Good Mother receives all her mags waaaay ahead of me. I get my Entertainment Weekly on either Mondays or Tuesdays, or if the post office is being a bitch, Wednesday or Thursday. But she gets it on Saturdays! What's up with that?!
Speaking of the Good Mother, Dental Chick called me Saturday night. Of course, she has no idea how fucking upset I am with her, but fuck, how the hell am I supposed to be continuously upset over something she has zero fucking clue about? It's just in her fucking genes to blab blab blab to the world. Anyway, she asked me what I wanted and I told her to just get me the usual gift certificate. (Which, boring as it may seem, I honestly enjoy.) What I should have asked for was a copy of the Japanese CD with the song "I Love You" on it and make her haul her ass all the over the island checking record bins, and going on the Internet and begging strangers for info on... Relax. Breathe deeply...
I should take up yoga.
I know what always calms me down. Being a selfish ass. I should make a birthday wish list:
Okay, that's enough daydreaming for one night.
Oh yes, within hours it's going to be Princess Toadstool's birthday!!! So if I don't manage to update...
Since I'm nowhere near a scanner or photoshop, instead of drawing a fucked up looking animal, I decided to write you a birthday haiku. Here goes:
Cool huh?
Stigmata was actually a kinda fun movie. Gabriel Byrne (sp?) is being rumored to be in Episode 2 and he'd make a pretty farking cool jedi. In fact he'd be a really good Bond villain.
Speaking of Bond, did I mention that the trailer for The World Is Not Enough is attached to all the prints for Stigmata? I swear, in a theater, it's even cooler. They show this cool hologram of the villain Renard's head in M's office and you see Bond poking into the hologram to touch the bullet imbedded in Renard's skull. And there's this cool ass shot of Bond swimming underwater, without any sort of breathing apparatus, outside the flank of a huge ass submarine. I swear, this one's gonna rock. Oh yeah, that's what else I want for my birthday: a private screening of The World Is Not Enough in one of the big theaters at the Dole Cannery. Cool huh?
And aren't those sunglasses cool? Calvin Klein got the contract with this Bond movie so there's gonna be a shitload of sunglasses on display. I think one of them can do x-ray and the other can set off a stun grenade. Not sure though, cause those were just rumors.
