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For the record, I had a pretty damn good birthday. I got everything I wanted which amounted to a conflict-free day. But what fucking negates the whole goddamn deal is the fact that Ball And Chain seriously decided to just ruin everything and piss the living fuck off of me.
I mean, okay, it was my fault for trying to communicate with her. I admit that one flat out. I should've just kept my mouth shut. Instead, when she asked what me and Dental Chick talked about (I saw Dental Chick and got my ToysNJoys gift certificate.), I should've lied. Instead I told her the truth about how Dental Chick basically reiterated an irritating glitch in Ball And Chain's personality; one which I repeatedly repeatedly tried to warn her about. So what it breaks down to is basically, Ball And Chain is pissed off cause I'm right. Anyway, I'm fucking pissed to high heaven cause nothing can piss me off more than pouting and she goes, "If you're gonna be all pissed off, you may as well just take me back home." So I did. Then she refuses to get out of the car and she goes, "You don't think I'm gonna make it that easy for you, do you?" Of course not. So basically we're at the Mall, thoroughly not speaking to each other, and I'm walking like, two hundred paces in front of her and finally I just plop down and smoke. And she gives me this look and walks off. Now, I'm thinking, hmm... Does she want me to follow her? Is she going to the bathroom? Is she coming back? And so I'm sitting there and suddenly I start cracking up to myself because I realized, what would happen if I just got back into my car and left her there? And I couldn't stop giggling to myself cause I realized that that notion truly made me happy. Unfortunately she returned from what appeared to be the restroom.
I seriously wish I'd catch her cheating on me or something so I'd just have an excuse already.
As luck would have it, we almost ran into Dental Chick at the mall but I artfully dodged.
What the fuck, I'm unemployed. Not like I gotta be anywhere tomorrow. I should go gym and do legs. Squats sound like fun, no?
Star Bulletin gone? Fuck. I hate the Advertiser. I just read the dumbest fucking article on Oceans the other week and I was thinking, "Fuck man, people on Spunker can do better than this. These fuckers will print anything. Where did they learn how to write from? Ka Leo?"
Oh god, that one was too funny. My sides hurt.
Speaking of articles, I met with Overpublished, and yes they're using the article. Thank God I didn't do it for nothing. We discussed certain touchy political points and I'm not sure how much of an understanding we came to but, oh well. And I'm allowed to fuck with the ending some more. Good. The ending really bothered me.
He gave me a penis enlarger for my birthday. Ha ha, very funny. Not like a larger dick would matter anyway cause I sure as fuck don't use it anymore. Then again, why would I fucking WANT to use it with... Nevermind.
Grrr. I should seriously go to the gym. But I went how many days in a row already. I'm gonna over-train. I know, I'll just do abs again. But I just had Hamburger Helper. I'll let it settle first.
Oh fuck, almost forgot:
Oh man, you are fucking OLD! Nah nah, okay, I'm in a total haiku mood so here's your Birthday Haiku™:
Hmm. This haiku shit's getting kinda fun. Gawd...
Damnit damnit damnit. I had a pretty good birthday but I'm too damn wound up to write about it. Oh well. My noodle can't be that bad, I'll just keep it as a memory. Ugh. Time for crunches already.
The Muse was a little disappointing. The plot's focus shouldn't have spent so much time with Andie M's cookie business. But then, if it wasn't for that, there wouldn't have been the totally fucking hilarious, classic scene with Albert Brooks talking to the guy who doesn't speak English.
It's too bad really cause I really like Albert Brooks. He's kinda like a Los Angeles Woody Allen. Hmph... Maybe those two are just growing old already. I mean, I'm a huge Woody Allen fan and I wasn't too impressed with Deconstructing Harry and Celebrity. Sad when people grow old yeah?
Just chilled out with The Corruptor on DVD. Good movie. Highly under-rated. If you have a DVD, buy it. If you have a VCR, rent it. If you have neither, use someone who does.
