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Before I forget, I saw that movie Instinct with Anthony Hopkins and Cuba Gooding Jr. I cannot stress how fucking offended I was about that movie. Everybody's ripping on poor Episode 1 and shit, and here was a fucking piece of sanctimonious monkey (literally) garbage. I mean, I'm really in absolutely no position to complain since I saw it for free, but it's kinda like, do you appreciate a free meal if there's bugs crawling all over the dish?
Am I an asshole? No don't answer that, I'll re-phrase. Well, umm... Okay. Tonight I was watching Hope Floats (one of Ball And Chain's favorite movies) and it got to the part where Sandra Bullock and family are lip-synching to some Temptations song. I got the urge to throw my hardcover Star Wars book into the TV. Ball And Chain tells me that she likes that part. I counter that the hell if shit like that ever happens in real life. She counter counters with, "It would be nice if it did?" ARE YOU SERIOUS?! Kahi Mohala territory.
Anyway, she really liked Instinct. Basically it was Gorillas In The Mist with Cuba Gooding Jr. bugging his eyes out as far as they would go while trying to act sincere. I swear, Jerry Maguire or not, he should seriously just stick to Pepsi One commercials.
The previews for Instinct makes the movie look like a psycho killer/monkey movie. It's totally not. Instead, it's basically that Robin Williams/ Robert DeNiro movie Awakenings. With monkeys. There's even a "touching" scene with Cuba Gooding Jr. liberating people in the loony bin. I half-expected Robin Williams to walk in with his I'm-on-the-verge-of-tears expression on his face.
It's really weird watching a movie that's not the Phantom Menace. If there's one shining achievement this movie gave the world, it's the fact that it made people care about the movies again, which in turn gets people to care about telling stories. Just get off Star Wars' ass and go attack Instinct. Although I'd rather the world not see Instinct and just ignore it which would cancel-out the attacking part.
For the record though, I think I'll give the movie one star cause the monkeys looked kinda real and monkeys are always nice to have around. Special effects has to count for something right?
I've also seen a couple images from the upcoming killer shark movie Deep Blue Sea. I think I have a new fear besides lizards; sharks. You see, I never saw Jaws and these pictures from Deep Blue Sea has close-ups of sharks, and umm... Even though they're computer generated, they kinda give me the creeps. I mean, it's a real unoriginal fear to have, but, ugh... All that teeth and those pupil-less eyes...
You know, that's the reason why I refuse to go into water where my feet can't touch bottom. But pools are fine. In fact, I really wish the Mililani gym wasn't such a bitch to get to.
I took a Star Wars personality test and I turned out to be Obi-Wan Kenobi. It said: No, not the brash, young Jedi currently on screen, but Alec Guiness' wise hermit of the Classic Trilogy. You are a quietly graceful leader who people seek out. You may have fallen from grace, perhaps had power usurped by young upstarts, but the right people know you are on the mark.
I guess that's kinda cool but if I fall from grace one more time, I'm gonna need a really fluffy pillow to cushion the bruises on my ass. Bill Gates got Obi-Wan Kenobi too. Bubba got Darth Vader, Leonardo got Han Solo, and the Hairy Editor got Luke Skywalker.
Speaking of fall from grace, even though NASA was here for only a week I couldn't take it. His fiancee just annoyed the living shit out of me and his step-father was thoroughly obnoxious. On Tuesday, I saw him for the duration of one beer before booking it. (Granted I did have a pretty good excuse: taking daddy to the airport. For once, the man came in handy.)
The rest of the time, I ditched him. I even ended up at Lestat's bar where I consumed a lot of beer and a strange blue drink called Cool Water. Then I got to be the drunken idiot who shows up at your door at one in the morning. Poor Bubba and Cartman.
But then that night, I really felt like getting a buzz. I got two stuffs in the mail. I lost the playwriting contest, to a newscaster(?!) but my story got accepted at the Journal. My first non-academic publication! I was jumping around for a while but then I sufficiently calmed down.
Interesting though. I win the contest and I get publication for two stories that the Hairy Editor absolutely hated. Like I told Kitsune, from now on, I'm running EVERYTHING through him.
But anyway, I can't stand NASA's fiancee. I feel really bad about not seeing him since he was here for so short a time but, you know... Isn't that an unspoken rule? If your significant other is irritating and just plain stupid, it's a given that people will want to see less of you. Trust me, I know what I'm talking about. If I watch-- correction, over-hear-- one more episode of Sally Jesse Raphael, I swear I'll shit a Gungan.
Speaking of Star Wars, I'm really really beginning to feel bad for Jar Jar Binks. I came across jarjarmustdie.com and jarjarsucks.com. That's just plain rude. I'm gonna buy his action figure and open it and hang him from my rear-view mirror just to let him know that he at least has one friend left. Granted, that's probably a huge signal to key my car...
I just realized something. Somewhere along the way in my inebriation, I stole a red-dot laser pointer from NASA's little brother. Just as well I guess, but I seriously have no clue when and how I left the house with it.
6:59 pm
Computer crashed so I gave up and watched the first Star Wars. ****. I'm seriously beginning to wonder if C3P0's and R2D2's memories got wiped out or something cause they were pretty oblivious on Tattoine. C3P0 didn't even know what planet he was on. And Obi-Wan Kenobi didn't seem to recognize the droids, even R2D2. And Luke was really fucking irritating and whiny. See? Quit ripping on Jake Lloyd cause it was all in the plan. They really are related!
I just read in Pam's journal that shipping was free at CDNow. Ho, talk about a way to get a chink's attention! I bought this old Stephen Stills CD, and advance ordered the Austin Powers soundtrack and the Jennifer Lopez CD. I'm not sure how much I like her new song, but I really like the video. Talk about a shallow fucking purchase. Anyway, if you purchase advance order CDs that are due to be released on June 1, will they ship on June 1, or will you receive it on June 1? If I see either of them for cheaper at Costco, I'll slit my credit card. But then, I purchased both for $12.58 and even if I saw it for $11.99, with tax, and the free shipping, it'll come out about the same right? Right? Just nod...
Should I have bought the soundtrack for Black Mask? I can't remember if there was any cool instrumental music. All I recall is rap rap fucking gangstah rap.
Dental Chick's birthday is coming up and since last year, I promised that I'd write a book with her and our friends as the characters. I mean, a real book, not just a fun little thing for us. So last year, I wrote her Chapter One and pretty soon, I have to come up with Chapter Two. Thing is, Chapter One's on my old word processor and basically, Dental Chick has the only copy. And she can't fucking find it!!! Her house is a fucking rat-hole and I knew that'll happen. "No Aaron, I just saw it and I put it in a safe place but now I can't remember the safe place. I promise I'll keep looking." I think I'm gonna go there and sit on her futon until she gets off her ass and digs it up cause I worked fucking hard on that one and I'll bet you a trillion dollars that instead of digging up her mess of a house, she's sitting on her ass playing Zelda with her on again, off again boyfriend.
I really should go and work on my bench press.
I'm restless. I got ants in my pants. I think I'm gonna go look for trouble.
The Thirteenth Floor turned out to be a really touching movie. I was really surprised. It's interesting how Dark City, The Matrix, and The Thirteenth Floor all took the same basic plot and ended up with entirely different movies. Dark City turned out to be noir and goth, The Matrix was techno and John Woo, and The Thirteenth Floor turned out to be art deco and drama. Interesting. Everyone else was bored but...
