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Happy 2000! We're all here in one piece. Frankly, I was more worried about myself, not the world on New Year's Eve, cause by the time 10:30pm rolled around, I was a little too tipsy and I still had some hardcore driving and firework-lighting to take care of. Never ever mix champagne and beer. No No No.
Anyways, I'm starting the millennium (one more bitchy little grammarian tells me millennium has two "n"s, I'll personally help remove their anal probe) with all kinds of weird odd new experiences. Stopped in at my JOB (I'm still not used to saying that) to sign some papers and work out my parking. Here's the really odd one: for the first time in my life, I have life insurance. I never really gave it much thought as to who'd get my money. I find that odd to suddenly have to figure out something like that. So I did the right thing and left everything to Kitsune.
Actually that's a pretty morbid way to start off a millenNium. In fact, when I was watching the end of Ally McBeal tonight, I decided that instead of the Andy Kaufman funeral, I want my funeral to end with a big, black, Negroe choir singing some happy song with everybody clapping and dancing and shit. That'll be fun huh?
Wednesday, January 5, 2000, 10:05pm
I now have a daytime schedule and I fucking hate it. I'm one of those people on the H-1 tanking cups of coffee and slurping on cigarette after cigarette. No chance in hell of quitting this year. I actually don't mind rush hour traffic. It gives me an opportunity to wake up a little and play some Night Ranger.
But anyway, the job. I think I aged ten years in the last 48 hours. I can't believe the Boss is placing so much responsibility with me. I mean, I don't mind the responsibility cause he's such a nice guy, it's just that I'm thinking, "Are you sure you wanna leave me in charge of that? Aren't you aware that I'm kind of an idiot?!" Regardless, I can't can't get over how nice everybody is. I keep thinking "politics," therefore the building is six floors of asshole, but everybody (okay, mostly everybody) I've run into has been really really cool. And I'm... Tattoo Girl fascinates me. Should I ask her to help me with "my document?" Should I invite her over to my office for a cup of coffee?
Wow! I can say stuff like that now. "My office," "my desk," and this is my favorite "MY PHONE!" And I have a great view for feng shui (pronounced shoo-ey), oh and my own computer with Internet access, and I can go out and smoke a cigarette whenever the fuck I want (which is what is required of a good job), and there's a bottomless pot of coffee everyday and...
God, I think I actually like this job. I've even been given a few writing assignments so at least I'm kinda making use of my degree. And I have a relatively clean place to take a shit!
And I have a kick-ass parking spot in downtown!
Hmm... Am I enjoying myself? I really should find a way to schedule my gym workouts around this. Although it's only been two days, I gotta let my poor sleep deficit adjust.
I think I'll actually miss this job when it's over. Then again, it's kinda like something Bubba said about his new job as opposed to our old job. "It's fucking scary. When you fuck up, it actually matters!"
But then again, how much of anything truly matters?
Wednesday, January 11, 2000, 9:31 pm
Shit, everything's been moving so quickly. People died, holidays have come and gone, and suddenly I have a fucking real job! Don't laugh, but I can mention it now, so I will: Pacific Harley Davidson left a message on my answering machine for the position I sent my resume in for last month/year. I'm so fucking stressed with dealing with adults that for a split second, I wanted to call them up and run screaming and yelling from my current job.
But on the other hand, even though I'm sleep-deprived and stressed, I just can't get over the fact that when I do stuff and give it to him, my boss says "Thank you." Especially considering that I worked for Melonhead for God knows how long, that shocked the shit outta me. My first reaction was, "ARE YOU FUCKING MOCKING ME?!"
But anyway, I'm tired of my life. Instead, I'll do my film critics' duty and compile my list of the Top Ten Films Of 1999:
Thursday, January 13, 2000, 2:14 am
Oops, fell asleep.
A bad day at work. Let's just say there's some hoity toity, selfish people among me, and they happen to be in my age bracket. Strange thing about career-ism. "Adulthood" really makes you forget schoolyard rules. In the end, you're an ugly, stuck-up, dork bitch and the only thing giving you confidence is a taste-ful gray "power" suit. For women, do power suits just mean having pants in the same material? Or does that work for skirts too? Regardless, Nostrils has got a serious attitude problem. If she really wants to start impressing people, she should tell them she managed to catch the new Woody Allen movie even though Hawaii didn't fucking get it yet. Regardless regardless, it's nice to have an antagonist. I'm not sexist, I'm thoroughly willing to beat the living shit outta her once May comes.
It's really too bad that there's bad blood between our two offices now cause Tattoo Girl works with Nostrils. Due to a huge case of misinformation, I ended up loaded with a pile of unnecessary work, and Tattoo Girl, being the sweet, kind, Camel-smoking angel she is, said, "I'm so sorry, Aaron." Then Nostrils sticks her head in and goes, "NO! We don't have to be sorry. It wasn't our fault!" Then she proceeds to lecture me on how the protocol and chain of responsibilites is on her home planet. Tattoo Girl was only saying it to be polite and nice and kind. And the next time I walked into that office to drop something off, it got really quiet until I left.
There's going to be a smooze-fest next week; a chance to socialize and get to know each other between the three main offices. I really should take the chance to try and smoke a peace cigarette with Tattoo Girl, just to let her know that I'm totally not mad at her.
Quite the opposite perhaps? Don't even go there, don't even go there.
What have I fucking become? I bought a pair of Florshem comfort shoes! I really don't like this. Once this is over, I'm going back to my normal life. How prophetic. I think I really would rather be folding $20 sweaters at the Gap.
Tomorrow's probably gonna be worse, since I'm gonna be doing things on my own. And check out my horoscope:
You may have your toes stepped on today. A lack of acknowledgment for your contributions to group activities could be painful. If honors and recognition go to the wrong people, it will affect your ability to get what you need and want. You could be tempted to go over the head of someone in a corporate structure. Think before you act, though. Your perceptions are acute, but rash action could antagonize someone who is important to your welfare.
Bad omen or what?
And if things could have got any fucking worse, Ratgirl came in today to drop off a survey. Remember her from my Deal With Devil, in that dumb-ass attempt to boost my resume? I swear, she was the ultimate last person I ever thought I'd see again for the rest of my life. As soon as she walked in, my jaw dropped to the carpet and I was just totally speechless with shock.
In the pleasant coincidence department, turns out the girl from next door who came in to "borrow" a Diet Coke is a really good friend of Dell Pickle and Bubba. This island is too damn small.
At least all the cool people smoke. Wait a minute, actually Nostrils smokes. I wish she'd quit.
Anyway, my Top Ten Films Of 1999:
Magnolia
The Thomas Crown Affair
South Park Bigger, Longer, And Uncut
Star Wars Episode One The Phantom Menace
Dogma
Fight Club
Cruel Intentions
Toy Story 2
Galaxy Quest
Payback
Honorable mention: Office Space
I'm surprised by the list. Being John Malkovich and American Beauty just really really didn't do it for me, although I did like American Beauty, I just wasn't really blown away like when I sat there watching Magnolia. I don't like the hoity toity ones, no big surprise there. I also didn't see a lot of potential movies that would have made the list like The Limey, The Insider, and WOODY ALLEN's Sweet And Lowdown.
There's also a bunch of movies that I liked that after a while, I wasn't sure how well made they were. The Sixth Sense for example. Then there's The Blair Witch Project. Just because the movie was effective doesn't mean that it's something I'd want to see again. Then there was The Matrix. Aside from the kung fu and guns, there was a lot that really kinda disappointed me upon repeated viewings. For example, "Free your mind." I'm thinking irritating En Vogue song. "You're the disease, we're the cure." You're fucking ripping off Sylvester Stallone in Cobra!
Then there's the pleasant surprises. I really didn't expect to have THAT MUCH fun at Galaxy Quest. It's actually a really funny funny movie. And then there's the one that got away. Hardly anyone saw The Thomas Crown Affair but those that do always tell me that they thought it was an awesome movie. And I agree with that. It was a better Bond film than The World Is Not Enough.
