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Hi! I'm Blofeld's CatYou may remember me from such films as From Russia With Love, Thunderball, You Only Live Twice, On Her Majestys Secret Service and Diamonds are Forever
Lives have not been good to me since my James Bond days. I tried to stay in the acting business after 007 but for every part I auditioned, it was the same story - I was instantly recognisable as Blofelds Cat. Typecast and with no Producer willing to give me another chance, my career started on the downward spiral.
I auditioned for absolutely everything - from Cat People with Nastassia Kinski, to Andrew Lloyd-Webber's Cats - knocked-back for the latter because I was 'too fluffy'.
Realising that film was a lost cause, I embraced television and for a time made a reasonable living doing commercials for purr-veyors of questionable cat food - quite a come-down for a classically-trained kitty who had once commanded five-figure salaries.
Like any good cat with a mouse, I persevered and did what I had to do to claw my way back to the top going so far as taking on work for little or no fee. I offered my talents to various regional amateur dramatic societies, appearing in a range of productions such as Agatha Christie's The Mousetrap and Nehemiah Persoff's On the Waterfront - my 'I cougar been a contender' monologue being favourably compared to Brando's.
I even tried my paw at a recording career and achieved minor success with a song especially written for me by Simon & Garfunkel, Feline Groovy - which sold dozens of copies worldwide and eventually went platinum in San Lucar de Barrameda.
Depression set-in and I'm ashamed to say that I took solace in the bottle. I was drinking two litres of catnip a day and found myself wandering the streets at night killing small creatures for fun in my drunken stupor.
In the late 70's, my career seemed to be on the 'up' again when I secured a guest-spot in an episode of the popular British television comedy, Are You Being Served - as Mrs Slocum's pussy. My appearance was so popular with audiences that I was invited back as a semi-regular cast member. This sudden popularity made me quite the cat's whiskers and I quickly became the darling of the chat shows with appearances on Catspel & Co and Michael Catkinson.
Cubby Broccoli - at that point in time still a very dear and close personal friend - saw me on television and 'phoned to ask if I would be interested in reprising the role of Blofelds Cat in his new 007 film, For Your Eyes Only. I read the script and told Cubby I'd be delighted to be in the film.
The role required me to perform my own stunts and, as I had become a little flabby over the years, I placed myself on a strict health regimen - cutting down my mouse-intake from fifty-a-day to ten; forsaking the catnip altogether and working-out 5 hours every day of the three months leading-up to the shoot. When the time came to pad in front of the camera's, I was fluffy, sleek and svelte.
Like Sinatra in From Here to Eternity, my cat-reer depended on the success of that single role and I gave it everything I had.
But my aspirations were dashed when I attended the Royal Premiere in London - I was horrified to find that 98% of my scenes had been cut-out of the film.
In fact my entire appearance amounted to only a few seconds of screen-time and consisted largely of a couple of purrs, a spit and a mad dash for cover - the complicated sub-plot involving my manipulation of Kristatos, Gogol and the ATAC to lure 007 into a trap so I could revenge myself for the indignity of being dropped into a big chimney was removed entirely.
But perhaps the greatest insult of all was they didn't even use my own voice - they got Robert Rietti in to overdub me - they said my voice had too much of the grimalkin about it. Needless to say I haven't spoken a single word to Cubby since.
Dear Roger Moore was so unimpressed with Cubby's treatment of me that he announced he would not play 007 again until my scenes were restored. I managed to talk Roger out of that as there was no sense in two careers being ruined due to the questionable practices of one man. I suggested to Roger that he continue to play Bond but squeeze Cubby for more money with each succeeding film - because that was the only way to get back at the avaricious Cubby Broccolli.
I still attend James Bond fan conventions from time-to-time - I owe this to my millions of adoring fans the world over - but my acting days are over and, like Dear Sean, I will never play Blofelds Cat on the screen again (unless I'm offered a multi-picture deal, control over the script and a huge cut of the gross).
But that was a lifetime ago and now I'm embarking (ha-ha-ha) on a new adventure in a new medium - the World Wide Web. From my home in the Catskills I have published my site with links to all the things that I like.
If you are looking for tidbits of gossip from my 007 days, you are wasting your time as I'm not the sort of Cat to speak ill of the dead (ah, dear Donald and Telly - such worthy supporting actors to myself). However, I am planning to publish some general memoirs later, of my time in the world of James Bond.
Onto my site:
