The Beginning

Scully: Does anybody know what the hell is going on?!

Drive

Scully: Yeah. Well, as we said, sir this is just routine.
Mulder: (quietly to Scully)  So routine, it numbs the mind.

Scully: (on phone) You know how to pick 'em. It'll tell you that.

Scully: (under her breath, but loudly enough to be heard) Big piles of manure.

Triangle

Scully / 1939: I suggest you get your Nazi paws off me before you get one in the kisser.

Scully / 1939: Oh, you, speak English, do you? Well, how'd you like to see the stars on the American flag?

Frohike: The walls have ears.
Scully: (impatient) I have ears. Will you tell me what's going on?

Skinner: Use your head, Scully. It'll save your ass.
Scully: Save your own ass, Sir. You'll save your head along with it.

Scully: (direct) I want you to do me a favor. It's not negotiable. Either you do it or I kill you. You understand?
Spender: You okay, Agent Scully?
Scully: No, I'm not. I'm a gun ready to go off so don't test me, Spender. Don't even think about trying to weasel me.

Scully: Don't ask too many questions. I don't care what you do or who you do or who you have to grease,I need that information and I need it now. Are we clear on that?
Spender: Crystal.
Scully: And, Agent Spender... If you're not back in a hurry I am going to hunt you down, and so help me God...

Scully: (furious) That rat bastard!

Scully / 1939: Listen to me, you little weasel...

Scully: You did something incredibly stupid.

Mulder: I would've never seen you again. But you believed me.
Scully: In your dreams. (as if talking to a child) Mulder, I want you to close your eyes and I want you to think to yourself "there's no place like home."

Mulder: Hey, Scully.
Scully: Yes?
Mulder: I love you.
Scully: Oh, brother...

Dreamland I

Scully: I'm all a-tingle.

Scully: Am I out of my mind? Mulder, you are out of your mind! What is up with you?! I'm thinking about having you examined for mental illness or-or drug use or... Or maybe a massive head injury!

Dreamland II

Scully: "Baby" me and you'll be peeing through a catheter.

Scully: I'd kiss you if you weren't so damn ugly.

How the Ghosts stole Christmas

Scully: Sorry. Checkout lines were worse than rush hour on the 95. If I heard "Silent Night" one more time I'd was going to start taking hostages.

Mulder: Now, um... I know we said that we weren't going to exchange gifts but, uh... I got you... a little something.
Scully: Mulder...
Mulder: Merry Christmas.
Scully: Well, I got you a little something, too.

Terms of Endearment

Scully: Do you, or have you ever smoked marajuana?
Hippie: Nope, no siree.

Scully: Mulder. It's me. That's your cover story remember?

Rain King

Scully: Don't look at me, this was your idea.

Cindy: (suspicious and defensive) I don't understand. Does he... Don't y'all need a warrant or a subpoena or something like that?
Scully: We usually just say, "please."

Scully: I hear a big but coming.

Mulder: Scully, I don't think it's a coincidence that a cow gets hurled at me just as we're down here investigating the weather.
Scully: (checking his scalp and forehead) Mulder, did they check you for head trauma?
Mulder: I'm telling you that cow had my name on it.

Hotel Manager: Oh, miss, we moved your boyfriend's things into your room.
Scully: He's my partner, and we prefer separate rooms.
Hotel Manager: Oh, old-fashioned are you, huh? Well, we're booked solid with the high school reunion. You can take it or leave it.

Mulder: (on phone) Yeah... he wants advice. Dating advice.
Scully: (on phone) Dating advice? From whom?
Mulder: (on phone) Yours truly. (VERRRRY LOOOONG pause) Hello? Hey, Scully. Scully, you there?
Scully: (on phone) I heard you. Mulder, when was the last time you went on a date?
Mulder: (on phone, one word at a time) I will talk to you later.
Scully: (to herself, after hanging up) The blind leading the blind.

Scully: Well, it seems to me that the best relationships-- the ones that last-- are frequently the ones that are rooted in friendship. You know, one day you look at the person and you see something more than you did the night before. Like a switch has been flicked somewhere. And the person who was just a friend is... suddenly the only person you can ever imagine yourself with.

Mulder: I didn't know reunions could be so...
Scully: Wet?

SR819

Tithonus

Scully: Agent Mulder and I will begin immediately.
Kersh: Agent Mulder's a lost cause. I'm taking the chance you're not. It's you and Ritter. Do not let me down.

Agent Ritter: No, no, no. I know the judge. We'll have it by noon. (Scully stares at him, then turns away.) You know, Kersh warned me about you.
Scully: Uh, he did?
Agent Ritter: Yeah-- you and your partner. God knows his reputationprecedes him so I guess I should have seen this coming. You muck up my case,and Kersh'll hear about it. Are we clear, Dana?
Scully: (coldly correcting him) Scully. (Her cell phone rings.) And we're done with this conversation.

Scully: You know, most people want to live forever.
Fellig: Most people are idiots. Which is one of the reasons I don't.
Scully: I think you're wrong. How can you have too much life? There's too much to learn, to experience.

Scully: Why are you this way? I mean, if this is true give me something in the way of proof... help me find some science that I can hang this on.

Fellig: You're very lucky, you know that?
Scully: What do you mean? (no answer) Wait a minute. Say what's on your mind. You mean lucky like the others? You want me to believe that I'm about to die?
Fellig: I just want to take the picture.
Scully: You took my picture. You took my picture last night. Is this why?
Fellig: No, that was different.
Scully: I'm not going to die! (he turns on the camera) Turn that off.
Fellig: No. (They struggle with the camera.)
Scully: Turn it off right now! Put it down!

Scully: Yeah, Mulder, I don't even know how I entertained the thought. People don't live forever.
Mulder: No, no, I-I... I think he would have. I-I just think that … that death only looks for you... once you seek its opposite.

Two Fathers

Mulder: I got game, Scully.
Scully: Yeah, you got so much game I'm wondering if you have any work left in you.

Scully: I've got a surprize for you Cassandra.

Scully: Mulder, what are you doing?!

One Son

Scully: Well, I think you know what I think that woman is.
Mulder: (sarcastic) No. Actually, you hide your feelings very well.

Mulder: Scully, you're making this personal.
Scully: Because it is personal, Mulder. Because without the FBI personal interest is all that I have. And if you take that away then there is no reason for me to continue.

Agua Mala

Scully: you know what? Maybe you are a member of the Manson family.

Scully: I don't need my mettle tested.

Monday

Mulder: You ever have one of those days, Scully?
Scully: Since I've been working here? Yeah.

Scully: Since when did you get a waterbed?

Mulder: Cover for me, will you?
Scully: When do I not?

Mulder: Scully, did you ever have one of those days you wish you could rewind and start all over again from the beginning?
Scully: Yes. Frequently.

Scully: Did you do a lot of drinking in college?

Arcadia

Scully: You ready?
Mulder: Let's get it on, honey.
Scully: (smiles) All right, then.

Scully: Rob and Laura Petrie?
Mulder: "Pee-trie."
Scully: Mulder, if we ever go undercover again I get to choose the names, okay?

Scully: What do you want? Aliens, tractor beams?

Scully: Are you a doctor, Mike?

Mulder: Isn't that right, Honeybunch?
Scully: (forced smile) That's right, Poopyhead.

Scully: Third warning...toilet seat.

Scully: Who ever taught you how to squeeze a tube of toothpaste?

Mulder: You fit in really well here.
Scully: And you don't.

Alpha

Scully: Aren't you going home?
Mulder: (not turning around) I am home. I'm just feathering the nest.

Mulder:Dog gone. Doggone. Doggon.
Scully: Yeah, I got it.

Mulder: Animals that aren't supposed to exist like Sasquatch and the Ogopogo and the Abominable Snowman and - -
Scully: (interrupting Mulder) Don't mind him. He'll go on forever.

Scully: Yeah, he doesn't listen and he chews on the furniture.

Scully: Are you sure this woman isn't an expert on bats?

Scully: Ah, so you two are chummy?

Mulder: We met online.
Scully: Online?
Mulder: Two professionals exchanging information.

Scully: Don't under estimate a woman. They can be tricksters too.

Scully: I'm watching you.

Scully: So what is he going to do? Walk in her and skitter across the floor and pee in the corners?

Trevor

Scully: Should we arrest David Copperfield?
Mulder: Yes we should...but not for this.

Scully: Spontaneous human combustion.
Mulder: Scully...! Dear Diary: Today my heart leapt when Agent Scully suggested spontaneous human combustion.

Scully: Mulder, shut up.
Scully: I'm sorry I even brought it up.

Milagro

Scully: Thank you for making my schedule but I think I'm going to have to be late for that appointment.

Scully: Loneliness is a choice.

Scully: (looking at the thick manuscript) This is all about me?

Padgett: Would you sit and stay a minute?
Scully: You don't have anywhere to sit.
Padgett I have what I need - I write at my desk. I sleep in my bed.
Scully: You don't eat?
Padgett: I live in my head.
Scully: Writing your books
Padgett: Yes.
Scully: Anything I'd know?
Padgett: No, they're all failures

Scully: I'm very uncomfortable with this.
Padgett: Why? You're armed, aren't you?

Scully: If you know me so well then why am I standing here when my instincts tell me to go?

Mulder: You know you're in here, don't you?
Scully: (uncomfortably) I read a chapter. What does he say?
Mulder: (quietly) Well, let's just say it ends with you doing the naked pretzel with "the stranger" on a bed in an unfurnished fourth floor apartment. (pause) I'm assuming that's a priori, too?
Scully: (short laugh, not looking at him) I think you know me better than that, Mulder.

Scully: How did you know, Mulder that the body was in the truck?
Mulder: (putting a finger to his forehead, Karnac-style) I imagined it.

Scully: (Mulder grabs Scully's shoulders and turns them 180 degrees.) What are you doing?
Mulder: You're about to argue my usual side, aren't you?

The Unnatural

Scully: Mulder, it is such a gorgeous day outside. Have you ever entertained the idea of trying to find life on this planet?
Mulder: I have seen the life on this planet, Scully and that is exactly why I am looking elsewhere.

Mulder: Did you bring enough ice cream to share with the rest of the class?
Scully: (smugly, beginning to eat) It's not ice cream. It's a nonfat tofutti rice dreamsicle.

Scully: Oh, you're Mr. Live-it-up. Mulder, you're really
Mr. Squeeze-every-last-drop-out-of-this-sweet-life, aren't you? On this precious Saturday
you've got us grabbing life by the testes stealing reference books from the FBI library in order to go through New Mexico newspaper obituaries for the years 1940 to 1949
and for what joyful purpose?

Scully: I don't care. Mulder, this is a needle in a haystack. These poor souls have been dead for 50 years. Let them rest in peace. Let sleeping dogs lie.

Scully: Necessity is the mother of invention.

Scully: Mulder!? You cheat.

Scully: Mulder, can I ask you a personal question?

Scully: Did your mother ever tell you to go outside and play?

Scully: You just defaced property of the U.S. Government.

Scully: (to Mulder) You rebel.

Scully: I don't see any nicely wrapped presents lying around so, what gives?

Scully: No, I guess I have, uh... found more necessary things to do with my time than ... to slap a piece of horsehide with a stick.

Scully: Shut up, Mulder. I'm playing baseball.

Three of a Kind

Scully: Beeeeeeeeeeeep (smack).

Scully: (to Langley) Hey Cutie.

Scully: No, that's not nice.

Fletcher: Cigarette?
Frohike: You don't smoke.
Scully: But who's got a match? I just can't decide who lights my fire.

Scully: I just can't decide who lights my fire.

Frohike: That's it. Alright, you dandies back off! This is special agent Dana Scully. If you so much as touch her, you may be commiting a federal offense.
Fletcher: It could have been startdust.
Scully: Maybe next time. (She swats him on the behind)

Fletcher: It could have been stardust.
Scully: Maybe next time.

Scully: Just a little prick.

Scully: Oh man, I am going to kick their asses.

Field Trip

Scully: Mulder, can't you just once, just for the novelty of it, come up with the simplest explanation, the most logical one, instead of just automatically jumping to UFOs or big foot or...
Mulder: Scully, in six years how often have I been wrong? No, seriously. I mean, every time I bring you a new case, we go through this perfunctory dance, you tell me I'm not being scientifically rigorous and that I'm off my nut. And then in the end, who turns out to right like 98.9 percent of the time. I just think I've earned the benefit of the doubt here.

Scully: I, um, I don't know what to say, Mulder. Where to begin, I mean, you...you were right, all these years, you were right.
Mulder: You think so?
Scully: You were right about the grays, about the abductions, about the UFOs.

Scully: Mulder, If I of all people can believe this, then why can't you?

Byers: Just so you know, we've launched our own investigation.
Scully: I was beginning to think that I was the only one that was at all suspicious.
Frohike: We'll find him, we'll find him and we'll make him pay.
Scully: Find who?
Frohike: The son-of-a-bitch who killed Mulder.
Byers: I hope you're not offended, but we managed to get a hold of your report. I must say we were impressed by the thoroughness of it.
Langley: Especially given the circumstances.
Scully: I don't understand.
Byers: We concur with your findings, clearly this was a ritualistic murder.
Scully: Those are not my findings. You guys believe that too, that Mulder was murdered?
Langley: It's the obvious answer.
Scully: No, it is not the obvious answer.
Byers: We believe his body was stripped then skeletonized, possibly by boiling or the use of an acid solution.
Frohike: We'll make that monkey pay.
Scully: What the hell is wrong with everybody, you guys, there are unanswered questions here, am I the only one that's asking them?

Biogenesis

Mulder: Both men espoused a fringe theory called panspermia, it's the belief that life originated on...
Scully: Elsewhere in this universe.
Skinner: You've heard of this?
Scully: Yeah, it's the idea that Mars, or other planets, were habitable long before Earth. And that cosmic collisions on these planets blasted microbes into our solar system, some of which landed and flourished here.

Scully: Look, after all you've done, after all you've uncovered, a conspiracy of men doing human experiments, men who are now all dead...you exposed their secrets, I mean...you've won. What more could you possibly hope to do or to find?
Mulder: My sister.

Scully: You're late.
Mulder: I'm sorry, I thought that this was my office.

Mulder: Scully, you packing any latex?
Scully: No, why?
Mulder: Doesn't it smell like somebody forgot to take out the garbage?

Scully: I want to talk to him.
Doctor: No, he's a danger to anyone.
Scully: Not to me.

Scully: You're a liar.