In Spring of 1996, I began the first mailing list on the Internet dedicated to Rutger Hauer.  I had found that with the premiere of my early Rutger site that there were scores of people out there who were not only fans, but who were starved for information and looking for other fans to talk with. Well, with that in mind, I created the Rutger Hauer Mailing List (RHML for short). 

In the beginning, the list was slow.  With no more than 8 or 9 members at the time, we would often go weeks without someone posting anything.  Our posting method was primitive and tedious then.  The members would send an e-mail to my private account and I would forward them manually to the list members.  It certainly was a limited and unconstructive way of running things.  Nevertheless, word got out and the list grew steadily.  It soon became more than my primitive list could handle so I went in search of an automated home for RHML.  At the time I had a friend who shelled out the money for his own domain name and a cable modem.  He offered to help me out with the listserv as he had the proper hardware and he was hosting a list of his own as well.  I thanked him readily and we moved in.  Things went smoothly and we were happy.  The list continued to grow and hit a peak of about 60 members on his listserv.  Well, posts picked up, members flowed in and not only did RHML outgrow my friend's list by double, it would often cause his computer to crash.  Well, he gave me an ultimatum...reduce the number of posts or find a new home.  I posed the question to the list and told them that I would have to ban the use of off topic postings in the hopes that it would decrease traffic.  Or, we could try to move the list.  No one, myself included, wanted off topic material to be banned altogether, so I went in search of a new listserv. 

The Golden Age...

Pickings were slim at the time as free listserv companies were only just beginning to spring up.  It was at a very new Egroups.com that I found a permanent place to host RHML.  We moved in right away and were treated to the fastest service that we ever had and no limit on postings.  There were a few bugs, however.  Many people had problems with receiving the same posts several times...some twice, others upwards of twenty times per post.  But, once that was worked out, the list flourished, growing by leaps and bounds.  At the height of its splendor, RHML had 160 members spanning the entire globe and 1000-1500 messages per month.  Every four months or so there would be some kind of disagreement or what not, but all in all RHML experienced a great period of growth, useful conversations, fun atmosphere, good friends, and a general warm fuzzy feeling without losing sight of learning and sharing information about Rutger.  My job was minimal as List Administrator since the list nearly ran itself.  I was extremely proud of what I had created and proud of the list members as well.  Without them, RHML would never have become as reputable and respected as it did.  All the webmasters of Rutger's fan sites eventually were together on the list.  Where one might see competition, there was harmony at RHML.  I was always beaming about RHML and my pride always showed through.  It had grown to more than anything I could have dreamed of.

It did not last forever.

You cannot bring 160 people together in one place and not have the occasional fight or disagreement.  As I mentioned before, every so often we would have them during the best of times, but as time went on, the frequency of these problems grew.  There was also a changing of List Administrators as I decided to step down for a while only to regain control a few months later.  I maintained the list until a move to Japan forced me to abdicate again and hand it over to a new List Adminsitrator.  When I finally returned to the Internet, the fighting was still there and I took control once again in the hopes that I could calm things down and return to the days of peace and prosperity.  All the administration changes unsettled the foundation and things got better for a time, but the tension was always there.  Because of my work and time restrictions, I set up a new system of administration.  I employed a kind of Board of Directors if you will.  Each had the same powers of administration, punishment, and what not, but major decisions were subject to the entire board's approval.  I had hoped that with more hands working towards the same goal, the list might be better maintained...backfire.  Things didn't look good.  People were moderated, banned, blood burned hot and bad blood even hotter.  Grudges were maintained and the smallest spark would set the entire list on its ear.  Pride and ambition were no longer a part of my description of RHML and it had me in a deep depression to see the incredible descent from relative peace and usefulness to warring cliques and battle royals.  One group left the list and started one of their own, another group simply left altogether.  I dissolved the Executive Board and took full control back, desperately hoping to save the sinking ship.  The balance was held in check and information was trickling in, but the damage was done.  People felt afraid to express their opinions for fear of attack.  The straw that broke my back was when an event promoter came on to the list.  He set everything off again and was particularly rude to me after I had initially defended him.  Well, I had had enough.  RHML...my baby...my list that I had nurtured for four years had hit rock bottom and I simply wanted to cut myself away from it.  I advertised for a new list admin from the ranks of RHML.  A nice woman stepped forward and took control and I made my exit.  I was very upset about the whole situation, but it was a weight...a heavy weight...taken off my shoulders after being there for so long.

As of now there are two Rutger lists on the net, one is RHML and the other is the list who left RHML to form their own.  The rumor mill has it that they are merging, but that has not happened yet.  I am not a member of either list.